(Closed) Are weddings worth the money??

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 16
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

My Fiance and I clashed a lot on this in the beginning. He wanted to save for a house, I wanted wedding. In the end we decided that we would use majority my savings for wedding and reserve majority of his savings on house down payment for the future.

although, then we decided to have 2 separate ceremonies on 2 different days to accommodate our two cultures, which has made our wedding costs balloon considerably. We are still trying to figure it out but it really depends on what you value. Either option works as long as you both agree.

Post # 17
3855 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

It was not worth an exhorbitant amount of money to us. We spent probably 5k on the whole thing, including rings, my dress, lodging for our families, rentals, dinner. Dinner and my ring were the only 2 things that were actually what I would consider to be pricy. I know that everyone totally has a right to do their own thing, but I do cringe when I see what others are willing to spend on a party. 

Post # 18
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I am an introvert by nature and would have loved to have something tiny and intimate. My Fiance is a social butterfly and wants a full traditional wedding with all the bells and whistles. We are going with the big traditional wedding (will end up 15-20k) because we can afford it (we are both engineers, no debt, no kids) and a part of me wonders if I’ll regret it if I don’t have a traditional wedding with tons of family/friends involved,

Post # 19
1255 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Mine wasn’t, because we ended up divorced lol. My current SO and I don’t plan to have a big wedding, we’ll elope and probably throw a small party afterward.

Post # 20
9758 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State


It’s overrated.

Post # 21
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017 - Orange County, CA

I really really wanted to elope!  DH convinced me to do a small wedding, and we spent about $6,000 on our day.  I am so glad we did.  The memories of having my friends and family there to celbrate with us in a beautiful venue are ones I will treasure forever.  It also meant so much to symbolically celebrate in front of our loved ones.

All in all, I think it’s important to have the wedding that is financially responsible for you.  We own our own home, and have a good income, so the cost wasn’t that big of a deal.

Post # 22
1695 posts
Bumble bee

I’m perfectly content to spend MY money on celebrating MY marriage however I choose!

I don’t need to explain or qualify my financial decisions to anyone.

Why do you care what others spend on their weddings?

You realize you basically came in here and said we’re all making stupid financial decisions on a board about weddings right? Spend what you want, get married and shut up about how we choose to celebrate ours, if you can’t be positive then don’t rain on someone else’s dream wedding.

Post # 23
2130 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

Our budget is about $3500-$5000 The thing we are spending the most on is photography. For us, that’s the most important part. And I just flat out refuse to spend any money whatsoever on flowers. Some people consider that unthinkable, but that’s cool because it’s not what I place value on. We’re doing a mini-DW and keeping costs low, and most of the expense is actually for the week we’ll be spending in Banff surrounding the wedding.

Everyone has a different idea about what they value. I didn’t use to think I would ever be able to justify spending $8 on a tiny wedge of cheese. However, now that I have HAD artisan Gruyere, I know it is a luxury I am willing to splurge on. Same thing for Starbucks. Or a Mercedes. Or a beach house. Or being able to retire at 50. Whatever is most important to you is where you should direct your resources.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. It matters what you and your FH want to do. You don’t need permission to decide you’d rather spend your money on something else. 

Post # 24
2549 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m on the “not worth it” side. And a beautiful venue, cater, DJ, and all the fixings booked with deposits down. And then I came to my senses. $20,000. One day. And was I guaranteed good weather, a great time, decent acting relatives? No. And so I cancelled all that and my husband and I and our kids went on a trip and we got married. I am 2% regretful – after all, a beautiful wedding would have been ideal… but it wasn’t worth the cost & potential disappointment of high expectations. 

Post # 25
86 posts
Worker bee

No, I think it’s incredibly stupid to spend that amount of money, especially because most people do it to keep up with the Jones’ and seem to care much more about other people’s opinions then what it’s actually supposed to be about, loving each other.  

Post # 26
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

DH and I were already established in our careers when we met and both in good financial situations. To us, weddings for people you love are SO MUCH FUN and we wanted to share that with all the special people in our lives (~80 people).

We paid a little more than I would have liked because we opted for the convenience of a venue that offered packages because we had NO time to coordinate all of that. We had just bought a house and were living in a construction zone with no kitchen.

Due to a combined lack of time and lack of desire to spend more, I ordered stationary online and it was cute but didn’t cost much. Our cake was a wedding gift, the knife and lifter a family heirloom, etc. Basically we cared about a good spread, photographer, open bar and a good DJ! It was quite honestly the best party I’ve ever been to so I have no regrets.

Plus… DH’s parents ended up paying about 1/3 of the cost after we’d already planned everything, so that was an awesome surprise.

If I could go back, I wouldn’t change a thing. I think if I opted not to have a formal wedding like that, I probably would have always wished I had.

Post # 27
22 posts
  • Wedding: September 2018

No matter what, I think it’s important to follow what you want and what’s important to you.

My fiance and I aren’t dropping an very large sum of money on our wedding day, comparitively speaking (8-10k at most), but it’s important to us to celebrate with our friends and family in a way that means something to us. I refuse to go into debt over a single day though. If we can’t afford it, we won’t have it.

Then there’s my best friend who had a big elaborate wedding to appease her posh relatives and her catholic in laws. She would have been much happier just going to a courthouse.

And my old roomate and her now husband paid for everything themselves and gave no mind to outside criticism. They kept their cost low and had exactly the wedding they wanted with what mattered to them.


In the end, it’s only worth it if you feel like it is.

Post # 28
4964 posts
Honey bee

I can’t get rid of the italics text for some reason. Anyway, to answer your question, for me it’s worth it to spend A LITTLE BIT. As long as it’s nothing crazy that will wipe out bank accounts or having to go to debt. I am talking about beyond going to the courthouse just the 2 of you and calling it a day.

I would like a ceremony and some celebration afterwards with family and friends. I don’t have to have a 200-guest wedding, a $1,000 worth dress, a photo booth, the other extra stationaries besides the invitation itself, unnecessary upgrades for the reception food and drinks, bridal party let alone bridal party gifts, the most expensive photographer/videographer, etc.

I would want the basics such as a first dance, simple wedding cake, simple florals and decor, a not so expensive white dress. I think you get the picture. If I don’t do all these at a simple level at least, I would feel like I would have missed out. 

Post # 29
547 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
Coco Brown Walker : 

I was the one who wanted the wedding because I wanted to have the people nearest and dearest to us, who have been there for us throughout our lives, the good times and the bad, to be able to celebrate with us our luck in finding one another. I wanted this for my parents, to host a celebration of their last child getting married. I wanted it for his parents, to celebrate their first child getting married.

I see the appeal in eloping, and celebrating just the two people, because for us, the marriage is what is important. But the money means less to us than getting to have all our loved ones, who have supported us in the past, be there to support us as we commit to each other.

Post # 30
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s all a matter of personal perspective. Some people spend $$ on lavish vacations, some prefer to have a large house or fancy jewelry. Everyone spends their money in different ways and places value on different things. Do what you can afford, and if what you can afford doesn’t match what you want, figure out a way to make it happen.

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