Are weddings worth the money??

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 46
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

I eloped and it was the best experience and use of funds.. for us!

We’ve been to our friends beauuuutiful gorgeous (expensive lol) weddings and had a lovely time!

Different strokes for different folks! 

Post # 47
Member
997 posts
Busy bee

Do you mean worth it, or do you mean waste of money? Technically it could be a “waste of money” yet worth it at the same time. If you literally cannot afford a 15k wedding, then that would be a waste yet not worth it at all. 

Post # 48
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s worth it. My family never threw me parties. My last birthday i celebrated wjth them was when i turned 3. I didn’t have a graduation party. I didn’t have a sweet 16 or big 18th birthday party. I grew up thinking it wasn’t worth it. Consequently, I grew up thinking I wasnt worth celebrating. Thinking back on it it makes me a little sad. My dad even told me the other day “just go to the court house. You don’t need to waste your money on a wedding”

But I realized this wedding is my time to celebrate me and the love I have with my fiance. If I need to spend $35K to make up for all of the other times I didn’t feel like I deserved to be celebrated for my big milestones and accomplishments then so be it. 

Post # 49
Member
3884 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Ours was worth it to us. We had a wonderful celebration with family and friends together, a fabulous dance floor, gorgeous photos, a sense of ceremony and rite of passage… no regrets at all. 

I do see your point of view though. And it’s certainly not worth it if it sends you into debt or something. But everyone puts value on different things… I mean, is having a child ‘worth’ all the stress and cost etc? Plenty of people would say ‘absolutely’, some would say ‘no way’, and I remain unconvinced! So, you do you and I’ll do me 🙂

Post # 50
Member
18 posts
Newbee

I think it really depends on your personal opinion. Some people REALLY wanna have a big wedding and they start saving since like 9 yrs old.. I’m more like you, I personally don’t wanna spend that much money just for a few hours (my wedding will be 4 hours long for the same reason). So we’re keeping it pretty low key. 

But if other people wanna do it big, that’s not my business and it doesn’t bother me.. 

But no matter how much you plan for your wedding, whatever that makes you happy matters the most. 

Post # 51
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I say yes, but we are very fortunate and our parents have gifted us >$120k (that they will not miss) for our day. If we were paying ourselves it would be certainly a different day, we would probably have a budget of $30-40k. But we own our home and have savings and no debt and no large expenses. It is completely based on everyone’s individual situation, I do not think you can generalize. FWIW, this is common in my circle/area.

Post # 53
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

For us it wasn’t.  We come from very different families with different cultures and religions.  Our families are very supportive of our marriage so that was not the problem.  We are older and neither of us feel the need or desire to have a big wedding.  We also know that we could not make either family happy at all so we decided to make ourselves happy.  We eloped (everyone knew we were so there was no a surprise to families) this week and don’t regret it at all.  We had a budget of $10,000 and probably were around $8,000 in the end.  This would be a lot of money to some people but for us it’s not that much (he’s a physician and I’m a nurse practitoner and we don’t have any kids). We hired an amazing photographer and had a 4 night trip with food, rental car, flights, hotel, My dress and acessaries and his new suit and shoes and both wedding bands for around $8,000.  Totally worth it!!!  We had an amazing time and focused on us and not everyone else.  We will have amazing photographs for us and our families.  It all comes down to what you want.  

Post # 54
Member
2454 posts
Buzzing bee

We made our decision to have a wedding because we already owned a house and could afford it without any financial strain on our part. We also wanted to have a wedding because my family is not very well off and most likely wouldn’t have been able to afford a destination wedding (we never considered eloping) and because I am an only child, so my mom would never get to have this experience. My hubby has two brothers but neither are anywhere near marriage, so he would be the first for his mom as well. We decided that not only was it important to us it was also important to our families. 

We created a budget and stuck with it. We never regretted anything we spent money on because we never went over the top on anything. We were very money conceince. We spent our money on the things we wanted but didn’t get like an ice sculpture (or other items that weren’t necessary to us). I DIY’ed alot of things to help save with cost. 

We decided what we wanted and budgeted accordingly. We spent 15k on our wedding which is very cheap for where we live but our wedding didn’t look cheap and we still get compliments on how awesome it was and how we had amazing details and just how much he fun and beautiful it was.

We also made all of our money back in gifts (not that that is a normal or was expected.)

It was 100 percent worth it to have those memories and to have gone through that process for us. We originally saw it as just wasting our money but still wanted to do it. Now that it is done we both agreed we wouldn’t have had it any other way and that it was perfect for us. 

Post # 55
Member
12219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Coco Brown Walker :  IMO, no, it’s not worth it. Of course, my own feeling is that the vast majority of young couples starting out have no business spending that kind of money on a wedding at all. Simply having the money to spend does not mean you can “afford” it. With a child and a home, my priorities would definitely be elsewhere. 

Post # 57
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I also was a bit surprised when I started looking up wedding costs. Me and bf are in our 30s and we’re well off. We’re planning to live in the house he owns after the wedding and our 5 year plan doesn’t contain any wedding debt lol. 

 

We’redefinitely looking at it from the perspective of a big fun parties our family and friends will enjoy. Which means I don’t feel pressured into making it some grand formal experience. That wouldn’t be us

We’re instead trying to basically make it a family reunion but to celebrate our union lol. I’m REALLY hoping to keep the budget under 10k for our guest list. Preferably under 5k would be even better, but is unlikely. We can afford it and want to spend somewhat on our big day, but not more than is comfortable for us.

Post # 59
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

minimalistbeex :  omg this totally hits home for me. 

I never got a birthday party growing up. My family didn’t celebrate things like that with a party. I didn’t get a graduation party (for high school or college). My family rarely gets together. 

Therefore – big(ish) wedding it is! 

Post # 60
Member
5567 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

My dad was amazingly generous and he paid for our wedding which was about $16k for 87 guests.

We have a house and two daughters, one in college and one in daycare. If he didn’t pay, I honestly don’t think I could stomach paying that kind of money even if we could afford it.

Like you, we started backwards, it’s different when you start with kids, I couldn’t justify spending all of that when we could use it to benefit the lives of our daughters.

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