(Closed) Are you a non-traditional bride? Which traditions are you foregoing???

posted 9 years ago in Traditions
Post # 3
2143 posts
Buzzing bee

We defintely went non traditional!

We slept together the night before (i just sleep better with him, otherwise i lay awake and can’t sleep because I’m thinking about a million things (not necessarily anything to do with him). for whatever reason, his presense just calms me and i drift right off to sleep. the night before my wedding definitely wasn’t the night i needed to be up all night thinking about things like when to do the laundry when we get back, etc lol)

We took pre-ceremony pictures

We had a non denominational ceremony, though my entire family is Catholic and have always had Catholic weddings

Ours was outside

We had a chocolate ceremony instead of unity candle

We did cupcakes instead of a wedding cake, though we did cut a small cake together and did the cake feeding, as well as bouquet and garter toss

We didn’t have dancing

Post # 4
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Well we are skipping the limos, much of the photography of wedding prep. the bridal bouquet toss, the garter toss, and the traditional reception and having a pig roast instead. But then again, as a middle-aged encore bride, I am about as non-traditional as a bride can get! LOL Oh yeah, and we are requesting NO GIFTS!

Post # 7
119 posts
Blushing bee

We are going very non-traditional, here’s ome of the reasons why:

  1. I’m wearing a blue dress
  2. We’re not having any flowers
  3. We’re having a beach ceremony with no religious element
  4. We’re not having a wedding party
  5. I don’t have an engagement ring
  6. We’re staying together the night before the wedding and seeing each other during the day
  7. I’m not being given away. We’re walking down the aisle together
  8. We’re having a ring girl
  9. My fiance is doing the bulk of the wedding planning
  10. I’m keeping my name
  11. We’re not having an official photographer
  12. We’re having a beach bbq reception
  13. Not doing any spotlight moments: no cake cutting, no first dance, no father/daughter or mother/son dance, no bouquet toss or garter toss. Only spotlight we are having is toasts.


Post # 8
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We are:

1. Seeing each other before to do the photo shoot

2. Not doing a garter toss or bouquet toss

3. Not doing a father/daughter, mother/son dance

4. Not doing a unity candle or sand ceremony

Post # 9
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

1. staying together the night before (although i think this is pretty common)

2. seeing each other before ceremony for pics (ditto #1 comment)

3. no bouquet, no bouts

4. no dancing

5. no aisle to walk down

6. no bridal party

but i am totally wearing a bridal gown, we’re going to recite vows, we’re having cocktail hour and sit-down dinner, etc. so i’m still pretty traditional! i’m just lazy about planning. 

Post # 10
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Although I’m very traditional in some ways, I see no point in slavishly following Every. Single. One. I would like our wedding to reflect us and to point forward to the marriage we are going to have. I think every couple should do what works for them, and if you’re doing something, do it because you really want to.

No engagement photos. No limo. No decorating the church. Groom and I are walking into our Nuptial Mass together instead of the usual bridal procession. No unity candle. We’re getting married in the morning and are having a luncheon reception at a lovely heritage house surrounded by gorgeous gardens. We’re having some photos between, but there will not be a huge time gap for guests to deal with. No receiving line. Absolutely no cake smooshing. No garter/bouquet toss. No dance. We will probably do some more photos in the gardens at our site after the reception is over, but neither of us wants a big fashion shoot. Everything will be over by 4pm so we can leave for our honeymoon in good time. 🙂


Post # 11
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We’re definitely going the non-traditional route. There will be no garter/bouquet toss, no tea ceremony (I’m chinese) and no church ceremony. We will also be seeing eachother before the ceremony to do a "reveal" moment. That’s about it for now..I’m looking forward to breaking a few more traditions closer to the actual wedding date 😀

Post # 12
2143 posts
Buzzing bee

The chocolate ceremony went along the lines of the Forest Gump line, about how you never know what you are going to get, sometimes the life is sweet, sometimes bittersweet, just like the chocolate, but no matter what, you will always be there for each other, then we fed a piece to each other, and, since i wanted to add our guests into the ceremony, we had them each take a piece as well. I can send you a copy of what our chocolate ceremony was exactly, if you message me, but you can really do it however you’d like!

Post # 13
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We’re a mix of non-traditional and traditional. Fiance has a best woman. Our friend is our officiant. We wrote our whole non-denominational ceremony based on Tom Robbin’s "Stilllife with Woodpecker" book and the story of our relationship. There’s no mention of God anywhere–we are not religious but both have many religious family members.

Cocktail/Buffet style, lounge style seating. No DJ, doing the iTunes playlist, No father/daughter, mother/son dances, no garter/bouquet, no cutting the cake (doing cupcakes). Doing lavender plants instead of flowers. We’re definitely seeing each other before. No favors. 

It’s funny because sometimes when I tell people about our wedding, I get the "Okayyyyyyy" or I get "I love that you’re doing something outside the box." Regardless of the reaction, at least people are looking forward to it.

Post # 14
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

everything is out the window for us now……..

stay together the night before and the day off

was going to do a dress, now its sarong & bikini for me and shorts & loud shirt for him

was going to do the hair, flowers bit – now its go scuba diving and a quick shower before hand

was going to do some music at least (found a lovely piano piece) but decided to use the locals (we’re getting married in the Solomans) and i suspect there will be a a wine bottle and spoons involved

was going to get married in the resort owners private garden but decided on the beach so all the local staff can join in (we’ve been at this dive resort a few times so we know alot of them by now)

was thinking of saying "obey" in the vows and then thought – yeah right

no photographer so plan on handing our cameras out to someone to take some pics for the folks

oh, not going to change my surname after we come back either

Post # 15
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

1. Dress is of my own imagination, custom made
2. No bouquet nor floral decor nor boutonnieres
3. No limos
4. No garter
5. No cake
6. No officiant — we’re marrying ourselves at the ceremony + courthouse
7. ‘I’m a Believer’ on piano as our ‘walking in’ song
8. Getting married in a French bistro
9. Only groomsmen, no bridemaids – but 1 self-declared "Personal Assistant" (LOL)

i have had many people raise an eyebrow or go "OMG are you sure?!", but we don’t really think our wedding’s very odd.

all the best and yaay to all unconventional brides!

Post # 16
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

haha! no "obey" in our vows either, and yes, no father-daughter dances, no first dance for that matter!

and yes, i’m keeping my name!

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