Are you a parent?

posted 1 year ago in Pets
Post # 31
Member
7765 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I def consider my cats my fur babies, but no, it is nothing like raising a human child (at least I don’t think so…haven’t done the latter yet). 

Post # 32
Member
1553 posts
Bumble bee

SoccerBee86 :  I dunno, I’ve met quite a few people who do think it’s the same!!! It was father’s day in Australia on the weekend and a friend posted this long flowery message about what a great father her husband was….to their dog. 

Post # 33
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

pink.lemonade :  I mean, I included my Darling Husband on my father’s day post this year with my actual dad and father in law basically saying that my dad and father in law are wonderful fathers, and also fur-grandpas, and Darling Husband was a good fur dad. I definitely make the distinction (at least for me). I certainly didn’t gush about it though, and have never posted JUST about Darling Husband being a “dad” on father’s day. I’m sure some people think it’s the same but I certainly don’t, even if I call myself a “parent.”

Post # 34
Member
9504 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We have two dogs that we had before dd. One had some serious reactivity issues so I spent sooo much time and effort on training and working with him. I even cried about it a few times. He was such a handful.

But no. I do not think caring for my dogs is the same as being a parent. Not even close! It is good practice to see how you and your partner work under stress though.

The term “furbabies” makes my skin crawl and always has lol.

Post # 35
Member
8099 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Having a dog is kind of like having a toddler and an adult child all in one. I have to feed him, walk him, handle his medical care, buy him toys, and remind him of good manners but I can also safely leave him to do his own thing while I’m at work. We called ourselves Mama and Daddy to our dog before our human kid came along. Honestly having a toddler now I laugh at how similar they are – I had to say “ah! what’s in your mouth?” and reach in and grab non food items from BOTH my human and fur baby this weekend lol. My husband got frustrated the other day and told our toddler “no! off! sit!” when she was climbing on something she shouldn’t be hahahaha. 

Post # 36
Member
1553 posts
Bumble bee

SoccerBee86 :  that sounds totally reasonable. This was so overblown that it would have made me cringe even if she’d been referring to an actual child haha

Post # 37
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

mrsautumn36 :  I’m a fur mom with no human children yet. While my fur baby means the world to me and is my heart walking outside of my body on 4 paws, I don’t expect other people to acknowlege me as a mother in the way that they would if I did have a human child. My SIL wished me a happy Mother’s Day this year and I thought it was really awkward, and I only wished her one back so as to not make it weird (she’s pregnant now, but just had her cats at the time). 

Post # 38
Member
1258 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

We consider ourselves parents to our dog. We refer to eachother as mom and dad to him and buy each other breakfast on mothers day/fathers day. Any future dogs/kids will all be siblings to each other. Mostly just all internal to our little family and for fun.

 

We don’t act/believe that being a dog parent is the same responsibilitiy as being a human parent. We don’t expect others to recognize us as parents!

Post # 39
Member
3533 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

mrsautumn36 :  No, we do not consider ourselves parents (although we do call ourselves his Mom and Dad). We are pawrents, not parents 😛

Having a dog and having a kid may share some similarities, but they are no where near the same. My fiance and I have a lot more freedom than our friends with children do and I think it is ridiculous for people to act like having a pet is anywhere close to the responsibility of having a kid.

I will say that the amount of love I have for my dog is sometimes overwhelming, but I still doubt it is anywhere in league with the love of a mother for her human child. 

Post # 40
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Before we had kids, we had pets and no we didn’t consider ourselves parents to them. I also question people that have kids and say that it’s the same amount of work, you either aren’t remembering the first few years accurately or your kids were magical unicorns. yell  Having a dog is like intro to having a kid, it gets you used to some of the responsibility but it’s nowhere near the same. 

Post # 41
Member
426 posts
Helper bee

Definitely no. I LOVE my animals, but I do not put them on the same level as I would my child. (I don’t have any kids). 

While I refer to my dog/horses as my “babies” and I’d do everything I could to look out for their well-being, I don’t feel like a parent with them at all. HOWEVER, I am so so SO glad that Darling Husband and I got a puppy before we have kids…. we love our pup so much but man she is hard work. Its challenged us as a couple for sure and kind of (I know there is no comparison) puts it into perspective how things *may* be when we have human kids. Having a puppy is a good “practice run” in my opinion. 

Also, my unpopular opinion – I cannot stand the whole “dog mom” or “any animal mom” phrases. 

Post # 42
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

All I have is a cat. I will never consider myself a parent, but I do call her a baby XD

Post # 43
Member
4921 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Hmm I refer to my dog as my furbaby so in a way I am a furmom? Lol. Love him sooo much and do see myself as a pet parent, not child parent. 

Post # 44
Member
9041 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

This is a very telling thread about the way society elevates parents. Why is this even a debate? Why can’t there be pet parents and child parents? Why do parents always have to make it a competition and a game of “nothings as hard or comparable as being a parent”?

We take in special needs cats, you know the type most people would just put down because they are too much trouble, and no one is going to tell me that it isn’t hard work. Like yupmarried said you have to get up at night, clean up excrement, feed them and so on and so on. 

Humans parenting their offspring do not have the monopoly on parenting. Stop making it a damn competition and realise that anyone raising another creature that relies on them solely is doing a tough and thankless job and yes is parenting.

Post # 45
Member
3533 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

j_jaye :  I don’t think it’s a competition, it’s just straight up fact. Having a pet doesn’t make you a parent. Having a kid does. 

That doesn’t mean that taking care of a pet isn’t hard. Or that, in your case, taking care of special needs cats isn’t hard. It just.. isn’t parenting. 

I’m normally one who will slap a bitch down who acts like parents have a monopoly on being tired or stressed or any other such thing. But that isn’t what is happening here. 

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