(Closed) Are you a private person?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Hmmmm…

I guess so? I will talk candidly about personal things, but those things tend not to be intimate. I don’t talk about my sex life, or fights with my husband, I don’t share personal things on facebook, it’s always stuff like “So excited to be making gingerbread houses tonight!” or something like that. I don’t talk money with people, I’m private about how much we make. When I was younger (think late teens early 20’s) I would trust anyone with personal info about myself. And as time went on I realized that it’s just asking for trouble. So now really the only people privy to my deep dark secrets are my best friend and my husband.

 

Post # 4
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

It depends. I obivously share everything with my Fiance, and he does the same. But when it comes to work I am very private. Although Im friendly with co-workers, I try hard to keep my work life and personal life separare, especially because of the field I’m in.

I am an introvert, and I prefer to listen rather than share. Of course, when I am with my close friends I will talk about things, but I am always the listener in most relationships. And its very rarely very private details.

Post # 5
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m a private person but not a quiet person. I am loud and talk all the time but I never share personal details out in public. I believe that it is no one’s business and I also do not trust people very well. It has never really been a big problem in the groups that I hang out with. We are a mix, some of my friends share everything and some are more private.

Post # 6
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

Welllllll I wish I could be a more private person but I don’t know how to be. I blab everything to everyone in my life and tend to have verbal diarrhea. Add alcohol and it’s even worse. 🙁

Either way, I think private people might be misunderstood? In this day and age with Facebook and social networking, it’s almost become the norm to put all your personal information out there for the world to see. It’s like people need to know your business and if you won’t share they get upset and lash out. Maybe that’s where the bullying kicks in. I find that if people don’t know someon’s business, they will make it up.

There’s nothing wrong with being a private person; and people should be respectful of that. There’s also nothing wrong with sharing your personal life with a few close trustworthy people in your life.

Post # 7
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think I am a private person, but I don’t think of myself as a closed person. Like @KatyElle, I rarely share personal things on facebook and I don’t usually give my friends the most candid details of my bank account or relationship. Especially since we got married, I think there is a definite line of what I feel is appropriate to share with friends about my marriage.

I’ve been reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Committed and I just got to an interesting part where she talks about a theory of relationships that relates them to windows and walls. She talks about building walls to keep the private parts of our relationships in, with windows that show the public face of our relationship to the world. When you share those walled-in details with someone else, it’s like you open a window to that other person that essentially airs your relationship’s dirty laundry, and you build a new wall between you and your spouse.

The walls and windows analogy is mostly supposed to be about infidelity, but I really related to it as a general principle of what I think is appropriate to share with others about my personal life and relationship.

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yes, and it’s always driven my sister crazy because she tells me EVERYTHING about herself and I’ve always been pretty tight lipped when the subject is me. I can sort of see the connection between being private and being bullied, because if you aren’t sharing as much you probably aren’t bonding with people which might make you an easier scapegoat. I don’t think I’ve ever been bullied, but I’ve definitely been left out of cliques basically for my entire life up until the last few years.

The thing I’m definitely most tight lipped about is my relationship with Darling Husband, I mean not on this website, but to my family and friends. People tend to form strong opinions if they disagree with something we fought about or the way we handled the holidays, so I’m pretty adamant about keeping all that to ourselves.

Post # 9
Member
659 posts
Busy bee

Yes I’m private and quiet but it depends on who I’m with. If I know someone well I’m not as private and quiet with them. I was bullied in middle school, I think got more private after that but I’m not as quiet as I used to be.

Post # 10
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I flip-flop between the two. If I know you pretty well and you ask me a direct question, I will most likely answer you regardless of the topic. However, since I started dating my SO, I’ve become a lot more private. I don’t like talking about my relationships (romantic or family) with anyone but my few closest friends. I don’t really like romantic Facebook posts or putting a lot of my life online… but then I post on Twitter about every little thing!

Post # 12
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am extremely private.  I never told my former boss or most of my coworkers that I had a boyfriend.  And I worked there for a couple of years.  It got awkward when my boss tried to set me up with someone!  I just never felt the need to share that bit of information. However, I’m comfortable sharing with my friends and close family, it’s just acquaintances that I don’t share with.  People are asking me more questions about my private life now that I have an engagement ring.  I know they mean well, so I just answer- but still don’t give out too many details!

Post # 13
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yes, I am.  I have learned throughout the years to keep people out of my personal business.  I had a friend who tried to ruin many friendships/relationships because she was jealous.  I fixed that quickly.

I always share things with Fiance (though maybe not right away which can bother him) and my grandmother.

Post # 14
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I keep many things to my/ourselves.  I don’t tell people about our finances, our sex life (beyond maybe a close girlfriend or two sometimes), or if/when we argue (again, unless I need to talk about it with a girlfriend).  I don’t tell many people about the wedding (mostly just my MOH), my family, or stuff about our TTC plans.  I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily quiet, although I’m quieter and more private than I was ten years ago.  I think some of that just comes with maturity.

Post # 15
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@SimplyChic11: I am a private person with people I do not have a strong personal relationship with but I have never been bullied. I always get the comment that “she thinks she is better than me.” I don’t think I am better than anyone, we are all GOD’s children but I am certainly different.

Post # 16
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I never thought I was introverted but I absolutely, definitely am. The only people we really share information with are our parents, and even at that we don’t usually talk finances with them.

ETA: The exception to that is obviously Fiance, I’m completely open with him. Everyone else though, not really.

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