(Closed) Are you allowing guests to bring their kids?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Are you allowing guests to bring their kids?

    Definitely not... No kids AT all!

    Of course!

    There will be a few, but ONLY because they are IN the wedding.

  • Post # 32
    Member
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @TrinityLeeAnn:  Then that is your choice, I am not sure why you are so insistent on justifying it to me. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @TrinityLeeAnn:  that still isnt saying a person, as a person, is un-Catholic. 🙂

    Post # 36
    Member
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @TrinityLeeAnn:  I merely stated my opinion, you said you couldn’t/were offended/etc, i suggested a way to incorporate children if it was a budget issue, and you keep justifiying/explaining/whatever why you are not having children. Don’t really see me making demands about your wedding. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    13625 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    There were only a few kids there, but it had nothing to do with a wedding party.  Children of immediate family were invited on both sides.  

    Post # 38
    Member
    2426 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @cantonbride:  OP seems to be unreasonably blowing up on you.

    OP she said do whatever you want.

    Post # 39
    Member
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    We will only be inviting 4 kids to the wedding, my twin nieces (FG’s) and FI’s two nephews (ring bearer).  We decided since they are in the wedding party they are allowed, but it will be adults-only reception otherwise.

    Post # 40
    Member
    1075 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

    We invited two kids by request of my Future Mother-In-Law, and then two people (I don’t even know who they are) whose kids weren’t invited RSVPed with their kids coming. I told my Future Mother-In-Law that no, they weren’t invited, but she refused to call them and tell them that, which pisses me off because we’re paying for the wedding ourselves without help from parents.

    Post # 42
    Member
    1044 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @TrinityLeeAnn:  Ahhh. I’m so over kids at weddings. I said absolutely none, at ALL. Why?

    I have witnessed WAY too many parents show absolutely no regard for others when their children are concerned and make no effort to keep their behavior under control in places where it should be controlled (church services, sit down meals, etc).

    I’ve been to weddings where the whole event becomes more about fawning over/playing with children, where parents USE the event to show off the children (or try), or when no adults dance because kids have taken over the dance floor and adults just want to watch them being “cute.”

    Finally, my wedding was a very upscale, classy, expensive (almost $300 per plate) affair that included an hour of Sinatra tribute quartet, 6 hours of open bar, 3 speeches, a plated sit down meal, a live 80s cover band, and an end time way past bedtime, not to mention an hour long quiet ceremony. Sooo not kid friendly! It was an absolute blast for everyone, and would have just been miserable for kids AND any parents trying to deal with kids.

    I made it VERY clear no kids were to be brought. I stated it openly (word of mouth) and did the following on the invitations:

    • Main Invitation Card: Printed “Adult Reception To Follow” at the bottom
    • Reception Card: Printed “Adult guests are invited to join us….” preceding all of the reception information
    • RSVP card: Printed “___ Seats have been reserved in your honor” and filled in number of adults invited, specifically leaving out kids
    • Wedding Website: Stated “Children cannot be accommodated at the reception” under the cute little infographic we had explaining the itenerary for the day

    We did not have anyone try to bring kids or even ask us about it. People arranged sitters and left them at home (even out of towners!) and everyone was happy to party the night away adult style. I was able to rest easy knowing I would be able to exchange vows with my husband and actualy hear him, my incredible wedding cake wouldn’t be destroyed before it could be photographed, etc.

    I think the key is just making it clear from the very beginning it’s not the type of event appropriate to bring children and they are simply not invited.

    Post # 45
    Member
    1044 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @cantonbride:  I am Catholic as well, and at no point in all of the (rather extensive) pre-cana prep we completed through the church did they state we must invite children to attend our ceremony. Our priest actually agreed with me when I made a comment about how I am regularly appalled at how often I see parents letting their kids scream, climb around, and otherwise outright bother other people during mass, and thus I prefered to have a child-free ceremony.

    Also, I think the OP was more concerned about the reception than the ceremony.

    Post # 46
    Member
    1290 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I am writing on the RSVPs

     

                                    Accepts             Regrets           Fish       Steak         Vegan

     

    Mr.  John Doe   

     

    Mrs. John Doe

     


     

     

    In My Humble Opinion, invites are non transferable.   Some kids may be invited,immediate family.   Kids part of family will have others to help look after them, GPs, etc.   Having kids also complicates seating.  It may  mean it is harder to put cousins with co-workers, etc. 

     

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