(Closed) Are you allowing guests to bring their kids?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Are you allowing guests to bring their kids?

    Definitely not... No kids AT all!

    Of course!

    There will be a few, but ONLY because they are IN the wedding.

  • Post # 47
    Member
    1044 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @TrinityLeeAnn:  Exactly!! I think our wedding was a welcome opportunity for the adults to really party down and enjoy a fancy night out without distractions. The invitation/website stuff works well because no one feels like they are being singled out (“But….not MY kidssssss??!?!”) and re-stating it in various ways in multiple places really drives the point home. Seriously no one even asked me.

    I did still do word of mouth, but only when it was brought up to me for the most part — again in effort to avoid people feeling singled out or offended.

    Post # 48
    Member
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @polyblonde:  I 100% agree with your reasons for not inviting kids. I can’t stand when kids take over formal weddings, as you described so poignantly. 

    That being said, I lost the battle to have a completely kid-free wedding. Fiance has 5 nephews that apparently MUST be invited, so we have a cut off point of anyone under 12 will not be invited. Fingers crossed they behave well enough…

    Post # 49
    Member
    2354 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We’re torn, because both kids are our godsons, our sisters’ only child for now. We’ll probably allow them, but that’s not what we wanted to to in the first place we would prefer no children. 

    Post # 50
    Member
    1044 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @ImmaBee:  Glad to hear I’m not the only one who thinks a toddler dance party is just not acceptable for a wedding!!

    I think if they are all over 12 it won’t be so bad! Hopefully they will be old enough to understand how they need to behave during key moments and if they can’t, they are old enough to where the parents won’t be able to just shrug off their poor behavior without looking terrible themselves.

    Post # 51
    Member
    362 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    We are treating the kids like adults- if we know you then your invited if not then you are not. All of our families children are invited but some people we work with (for example) children aren’t invited.

    Post # 52
    Member
    3479 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

    I said no kids and everyone obliged thank god. We literaly asked people specifically not to bring their babies. Everyone respected our wishes to have an formal, adult evening and it was AWESOME. So glad I put my foot down!! I can’t stand kids at fancy parties.

    Post # 53
    Member
    63 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    There are way too many little ones in my family that we would HAVE to have cut it off somewhere, becasue there would be just TOO many guests. But we couldn’t just say that some kids could come and some couldn’t, so we just decided to say NO kids. The youngest person attending will be 14 and she is one of my bridesmaids. We did however make one exception, one of FI’s uncles has a child who is disabled and he and his wife would not be able to attend unless they could bring him, which I think is understandable to our other family members. 

    Post # 54
    Member
    3201 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    We said no kids under 5, which pretty much knocks all the kids other than neices and nephews off the list. They have a role in the wedding as well. We haven’t had any issues with people complaining or raising hell about it. Most everyone is grateful for some kid free time.

    Post # 55
    Member
    476 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

    I’m VERY ANTI-CHILD at weddings, but my F-BIL just told ust they’re expecting, so it looks like we’re going to have an infant there. Then, our good friends are ALSO pregnant, and will have a three month old there, too. If they weren’t flying in from out of town, that would be one thing, but it looks like we’re going to have screaming babies. I’m totally bummed. 

    Post # 56
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I am having the same issue of where to draw the line. We will be having our own 7 month old at the wedding/reception since everyone we know will be there. My Maid/Matron of Honor will have a 2 month old so I would understand if the newborn would need to be there. However she also will have a 2.5 year old at the time as well, one other bridesmaid will have a 5 year old and a almost 3 year old and one Groomsmen will have a 4 year old at the time. This is just the wedding party’s children. Then there are the rest of our friends and family with children as well. I have calculated that it would equal out to be 12 kids between the ages of 2-5 years 3 under one including our own and over 12 above the age of 5 if I have to include my cousins kids. This is a lot of extra table and chair rentals on top of meals. I think I have decided that I draw the line at babies in arms will be welcome. I understand babies because they will be so young and most need to be near their mothers at that age. Anyone older should be able to have someone else look after them for the night.

    Post # 57
    Member
    2002 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    I voted “of course!”, but I am having a destination wedding, so most people with kids probably won’t be attending, and if they do, most of the kids aren’t too young- teenagers. Though to be honest I wouldn’t care if my cousins brought their itty bitty kiddies. 

    Post # 58
    Member
    1189 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We had an adult only ceremony and reception and yes, we did say that it was an adult only affair on the invite (in a tasteful way).  We debated on having my husband’s nieces/nephews there and in the end just counted all kids out.  All of our family and friends understood and said they’d do the same-it was more touchy with my husband’s family at first, but once at the wedding-they totally got it (we had a Friday evening wedding at a country club).  

    My big reasoning was that our venue was not that large, and if we had included kids, we’d have about 25 there running around..it was the last thing I wanted to stress about on such an important day.

     

    Post # 59
    Member
    892 posts
    Busy bee

    No flower girls.  No ring bearer.  No kids.  No joke.

    Post # 60
    Member
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @pinkksnow:  Bahahahaha, I enjoyed your response. 

    Post # 61
    Member
    1436 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    We are not inviting any children outside of wedding party. No exceptions to the rule!!!!

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