(Closed) Are you an only child? Did you turn out OK?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I am an only child and I’m completely normal.  Yes, I am more mature than a lot of people my age because mostly I spent time with adults and not other kids but that’s fine.

Post # 4
Member
1210 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am an only child, and I wouldn’t say there was anything wrong with me, but after growing up as one I would not intentionally do it to my kid. I just didn’t really like it. I don’t think I suffered any irreparable damage, it just wouldn’t have been my preference.

FWIW, I would have glady taken a part time stepbrother over nothing.

Post # 5
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I was an only/oldest/youngest and turned out fine. Let me explain. I’m my Dad’s only, so from 9th grade on, I lived with him and my first stepmom. I’m my mom’s oldest, so I’d visit my (half) brother and sister at her house which wasn’t often when I was little, but more when I could drive. And I was raised by my Dad’s parents until 9th grade. They have 4 boys, the youngest of which is 7 years older than me. My Dad’s 3 younger brothers are all like my brothers.

Basically, if someone who has such a confusing family as me can turn out okay, then anyone has the chance, especially when they have a loving mother and stepfather as you and your Fiance.

Post # 6
Member
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m an only child and completely fine.  The only thing I might be a bit weird with is that I tend to be more mature and comfortable with adults than with people my own age, like MissAsB.

Other than that…I’m perfectly normal, or so I think!

Post # 7
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

lol, no offense taken!

I am an only child.  I suppose some people might disagree, but I tend to think I turned out ok. ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

Benefits of being an “only”:

  • I was always comfortable with adults from a very young age
  • Super close relationship with my mom
  • I think it’s made me much more pro-active about friendships. I have a lot of close friends, and I work really hard to maintain those connections. I’m something of a “gatherer” of people.  I’m often the one who is the glue in different social groups. “Chosen family” is super important to me. 

  • More financial resources – the only way this made a difference is that I was INCREDIBLY lucky not to have to take out loans for college.

 

  • No strained sibling relationships like I see a lot of people having.

Downsides:

  • No wonderful sibling relationships, either.
  • Not having a sibling to rely on for help in times of family crisis.
  • It took me a little longer than some people to figure out how to be around other kids. 

I don’t think I was at all spoiled, but this also has to do with the fact that my parents divorced when I was 7. It’s awfully hard to think of yourself as the center of the world when your world is falling apart. :/  But all of that has made me who I am today.

Post # 9
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Well, I have four younger brothers, but J is an only child.  He absolutely loves the fact that he is.  He’s such a goodie two shoes too in some aspects, but of course everyone is mischievous in their own way.  He thinks being the only child is the way to be.

Post # 10
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

My husband was an only child and our daughter will be as well. He doesn’t feel like he missed out, he had tons of friends and a couple of best friends who are like brothers.

I’ve had people say “But what if something happens to you guys!” but that just isn’t enough of a reason to have another baby. She will have a loving family and tons of cousins, I honestly in my heart believe she will be totally OK.

Post # 11
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Another only child here!! I think I’m pretty normal. ๐Ÿ™‚

I do have some issues with sharing though, I’ll admit it. I also suck at being a “good sport” when losing at board games/video games/sports/etc.

But other than that, cool as a cucumer! Being an only child rocks, you get all the attention ๐Ÿ˜‰

P.S. I’m also the only grandchild on my dad’s side and share my maternal grandparents with one other cousin who is 11 years older than me, so I was an “only” in a ALOT of different was.

Post # 12
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am not an only child, but I just wanted to point out that a half-sibling that is around 1/3 of the time is still VERY much a sibling.  I know why it may seem to you that your daughter is more of an only child, but I doubt she will see it this way. My half-brother was only around a couple weekends a month, some holidays, and maybe a few summers, but most of my childhood memories involve him and we are very close. Had he been my only sibling, I don’t think I would’ve felt like an only child.  This, even though he is 7 years older than me. To me having a sibling is about having a friend for life and someone that you can bounce your reactions about your family off of.  Sometimes I really needed someone that intimately understood the workings of my family to make me feel like I wasn’t crazy for feeling angry, sad, or whatever.  My half-brother has been there for me in this way just as much as my sister, and that’s what having a sibling is all about. Just some musings. I hope this makes you feel a little better.

Post # 14
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

I realize that it’s pretty early to start thinking of such things, but in the past few years Darling Husband and I have had cause to think about what our role will be in caring for elderly family members on both sides. It’s made both of us very grateful that we each have a sibling as well as cousins to help share the responsbility and the decision-making. There’s no reason that an only child couldn’t handle this, and I think ALL parents should work hard at keeping their affairs generally in order and planning for the future, but I think it’s especiallly good for parents of only children to make sure they have support systems other than their child for their health, financial, etc. needs.

Post # 15
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I am an only/youngest. I have three older half sisters and when I was young they lived with us but from about kindergarten/elementary school on they were out of the house and I was on my own. Unlike PP I am super shy but very independant. I have a few very close friends and prefer to keep it that way. I know as a kid I really wanted siblings my age but now that I am older I am very thankful for my childhood.

Post # 16
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think the only reason why being an only child could have it’s downsides would be if the parents are too overprotective and don’t really allow their child around other kids (so they don’t know how to relate to their peers), otherwise I’m sure it’s totally fine.

It may be a little bit lonely but then again I’m the oldest of four kids so I’m used to chaos. Personally I think it’s kind of nice to have those people that will always be in my life – but some siblings don’t talk or get along at all so there’s not that bond regardless.

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