Post # 1
I’m just curious here. I’ve been thinking a lot about how many kids I want to have. I have a twin sister and a younger (6 years) sister. Now when we were younger my twin sister and I did a lot together and it was nice because we always had someone. The downside was we had to share everything (birthdays, presents, friends, classes) and now we aren’t very close at all.
My younger sister was and is the epitome of the ‘baby’ sibling. She gets whatever she wants, she will interrupt anyone to tell them about herself. She will interrupt you to tell you that she knows EXACTLY what you’re talking about even if she doesn’t. She has to be the center of attention.
Okay so anyways I always thought I wanted to have 2 children, but recently I’ve been thinking about the bonuses of having only one. SO and I would have more time to devot to only one child, they would have their own room of course and they would not have to compete with a sibling for attention. I just think sometimes having one would be way better — BUT I was never an only child so I don’t know.
BEES. Were you an only child or not and has this had an impact on how many kids you want?
Post # 3
My mother is an only child, and I see how lonely she can be without sisters or brothers. She also doesn’t have any cousins, so a lot more falls on us as her children because we are all she has. I think it’s nice to have a sibling.
Post # 4
@MrsTVLover: Hm this is true. Without siblings you must rely on cousins or your parents, and what happens when your parents aren’t there anymore, right?
Post # 5
Only child here.
I never liked it growing up. I didnt have any friends that were only childs. I had a boatload of toys to occupy me. I always said I wanted 2 so that I wouldnt risk my child having the same upbringing. But now that I’m older, I dont see anything wrong with being an only child. I was cared for well. I was exposed to more in life (personal opinion). And I learned to be pretty independent.
Has it affected my biological clock? I’d say no. Fiance and I aren’t even sure if we want kids. He has one sibling. We may draw the line at 1 if the time comes.
ETA: My mother has one sibling who had one child-my cousin. We’re 4 years apart and spent a lot of time together. We consider each other siblings. He lives a 3 hour plane ride away. We’re not super tight knit. but keep each other posted in our lives.
Post # 6
My husband and I both grew up in families of two children. While my brother and I have a much closer relationship than my husband and his sister, we both agree that we like the dynamic two-children families. If we do end up having children, we’d like two, so yes, our upbringings very much influenced us.
Hopefully some users who grew up as an only child can weigh in! 🙂
Post # 7
I am one of two girls, my mum is one of four, my dad is one of four, my mum’s brother has two boys, one of my dad’s sisters has two girls. I want two but I would prefer one of each gender as I know what a nightmare two of the same can be sometimes! But as long as the babies were healthy that’s all that matters 🙂 But definitely two.
Post # 8
I only have my cousin as an example. She was an “oopsie” baby and her mother never wanted children.
She was left alone for the majority of her life, my grandmother basically raised her and she was always pining for her mother’s attention. Her mother would stay over at her boyfriend’s house, go out to do drugs, party and in general knew nothing about her child. When my cousin got her period her mother didn’t find out until a few weeks later. She got bought with expensive things and trips though and I was always jealous of that.
Based on her upbringing I wouldn’t want to do that to my child, BUT I know SO and I would always be there and be very involved so it wouldn’t happen.
Post # 9
I am an only child. I definitely wouldn’t say that I was spoiled growing up, I still had to work for what I wanted (in terms of allowance). As far as not having any siblings to play with, I don’t think it affected me a lot. I had a nice group of friends that I would see almost every weekend, and I learned how to entertain myself through arts and crafts and reading.
My parent’s always told me that they wanted to have another child, but my dad was in a horrible car accident when I was 2 so the timing never worked out for them. However, they are happy with their choice to only have one child and were able to devot a lot of time to me, they were able to afford family vacations more often then some of my friends, and I was able to have undivided attention from my parents when I needed it.
Fiance and I have a one year old together. We go back and forth about having another child. Fiance is one of three boys, and the oldest, so he is used to having someone to play with when he was growing up. After having our son, we’ve learned how hard it can be to take care of a child. As of right now, we both agree on not having any more children.
There are definite pros and cons to both sides of this. I think it’s best for you and your SO to sit down and really discuss it. Your opinion and decision might change after you have one child in the future. All in all, if you only have one child, they’ll be okay and if you have six children, they’ll be okay too. As parent’s we have to make sacrifices, adjustments, and decisions that affect the whole family, but it’s all for the better!
Post # 10
My fiancé and I are both only children (and both of our parents are still married). I love my little family and think I have a very positive relationship with my mom and dad, in part, because of it. I have close cousins and I went to daycare so I never was short on other children to play with. That said, I’m sure things will be harder when my parents get older. However, it has been my experience that one child almost always ends up picking up the slack of the others when it comes to caring for elderly parents anyway. I wouldnt change my upbringing and I don’t feel lonely or scarred from not having a sibling. My fiancé and I plan on having two children.
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
My FH and I are both only children. However, I do have two stepsisters and a half sister that I did not grow up with. We both prefer the idea of having one child because of the great relationships with have with our parents and all of the advantages lavished upon us as only children. Sometimes I like the idea of two children but ultimately I go back to an only because I don’t know that I could handle the additional craziness that generally comes with having multiple children. Not to mention it’s cheaper to travel with a single child and we like to travel often. I guess we will make the final decision about whether to have more than one after we actually have a child.
Post # 12
I am an only child. I do not want children. FH doesn’t either. 🙂
@beachbride1216: I see that you are in Saint Augustine, that is where I’m getting married!
Post # 13
@ashe89: Thanks, that was a great post and very in depth! It is true that we might change our mind. And I know that I am not at all dead set on one or the other and would be open to changing my mind.
@beachbride1216: We like to travel as well!
Post # 14
Also, I forgot to mention that my being an only child allowed my parents to fund college and law school for me. That is an invaluable gift and something that would have never been feasible with siblings. So it isn’t all that bad 🙂
Post # 15
I’m an only child! I loved it. My mom is an only child too. I think it was hard for her sometimes as her parents aged, but having siblings is no guarantee that they’ll help out with elderly parents. Plus, as an only, you don’t have to justify care decisions to anyone else.
However, I don’t particularly want an only. I don’t really think that’s influenced by me being an only though. I think it was great being an only. I just am kind of selfish… any kids kind of “cramp your lifestyle,” so I figure go big or go home, LOL.
But I don’t have a strong desire for kids. Not against them, just not “OMG I NEED A BABY” either. If I’m going to do it, I’d rather have several (3 – 4) because I like the idea of a “family” focused lifestyle. I like the idea of having multiple adult children and grandkids. Just having one seems to take away the perks of being DINKs but doesn’t have the benefits (for me) down the road of a bigger family.
Post # 16
@SouthernLawBride: True!! My parents saved nothing and paid for nothing for me and nothing for either of my siblings.