(Closed) Are you and your DH from same area or different parts of US?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m in a similar boat. I’m from CAand Darling Husband is from MD where we live. Splitting time is tough…ladt year we didn’t make it to CA at all for the holidays but did go out during the fall to visit. This year we did thanksgiving here and are going to CA for xmas. We are ecpecting now so I’m not quite sure how its going to play out in future years either. I guess the way I try to deal is to make dure I get out to CA at least once a year even if its not the holidays and even if its by myself without Darling Husband.

Eta: sorry for the typos…on my phone

Post # 4
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m from Wisconsin and Darling Husband is from North Carolina and we live in North Carolina.  It helps that my sister lives in DC so we can usually sucker my parents into coming to the east coast for some holidays.  I haven’t been back to Wisconsin since Christmas 2010, and before that, since I moved away in 2007.  It’s cold there, yo!  But now that we have a baby on the way, I’m sure they’ll make me feel guilty about not making a trip out to the midwest to show the baby to my grandparents.  Meh.  My extended family is not incredibly tight knit so I will probably make a trip out there every 3 or 4 years.

Post # 5
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m right there with you! I’m from NC and Darling Husband is from PA. We live in NC. It’s really not that far (especially by plane) but it is expensive to go. DH’s Mother-In-Law always expects us to be there for holidays (especially Thanksgiving and Christmas). It’s difficult, because I understand her wanting to be with her Son, but I’m also bitter, because the Holiday’s that I do spend with her are never enough.

For example, both of our families celebrate Christmas Eve more than the actual Christmas day… So last year we spent Christmas Eve with them and Christmas morning, then we drove back down that afternoon (the 9 hours it takes) to see my family on Christmas day.  She wasn’t happy with that. She’s never happy with the amount of time we spend. This year for Thanksgiving Darling Husband couldn’t get off of work enough time to drive up there and spend enough time everyone (plus I’m pregnant and really motion sickness right now). So we told her that we’d spend Thanksgiving with my family and spend the entire week of Christmas, Christmas Eve, and Christmas day with her (instead of the few days we would spend at Thanksgiving) and she was devastated. I can’t do anything to make both of my families happy. I’m always letting someone down. 

Of course, it’s also impossible for her to come visit us. The road only works one way… 

I guess I’m just frustrated with you. I have no parting words of wisdom, just that it sucks… and it’s really really hard. 

Post # 6
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

@tentwelvethirteen:  I’m from Missouri and Darling Husband is from California. We live in California now and I miss Missouri a lot. More than that, I miss my family. I had hoped to be able to see them this Christmas but that’s not going to happen:(

Post # 7
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@tentwelvethirteen:  I’m from CA and my husband is from NJ, but my mom and I aren’t particularly close, so it’s not an issue for us.  We hate traveling though, so we always make it known that anyone is free to come visit us, but we visit them on our own terms.

Post # 8
40 posts
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m originally from New Jersey. My fiancee is from Iowa. I moved to Iowa for college and that’s when we met. We’ve obviously chose to live in Iowa and bought a house together 🙂 And luckily, most of my family lives in Iowa so together we haven’t had to visit NJ! I do miss my friends back home and my father and extended family are still there. The hardest part will be the wedding since a lot of my friends/family back home won’t be able to make it. 

Post # 9
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@tentwelvethirteen:  Hes from ireland, im from new england. We live in canada. 

We trade off every other christmas/new years and we didnt celebrate thanksgiving. We hope to move back to new england someday, but i dont know how often well be able to fly home to ireland once we have a family to pay for as well. 

Post # 10
4929 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’m from GA, and his family moved here when he was 10. His immediate family still lives here, but his extended family is strewn across the country.

Post # 11
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@tentwelvethirteen:  My husband is from CA and I grew up in MA. We live in WI and hope to move to CA eventually. My MA family is SO extreme about getting us to visit, even though we lived in MA togther for 3 years before moving to WI. We visit my DHs family once a year. So tough.

For a while a we traded off Christmases, but then my SIL in CA had a baby around Christmas, the year after we had been out there. So, of course, we had to meet the baby, but since then the rotation has been messed up. We have also tried splitting up for holidays, which was ok. But we have decided now that we’re no longer traveling for any winter holidays and we’ll welcome anyone to visit us. 

Post # 12
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I am from Virginia, my husband is from Chicago.  We spend Christmas with my family but are here in Chicago the rest of the year.  This is mainly because my husband hates the holidays and his parents are divorced and don’t do anything for Christmas, whereas I love Christmas and only get to see my family 3-4x a year.

Post # 13
2118 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Nope. My SO and I are from the same town. We ended up here because our parents moved here to go to the university.

Post # 14
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I was born and raised on Southern California and Darling Husband in MA where his parents still live. We currently live in Southern California an hour from my childhood home where my parents still live. We (DH, me, my mom and dad) have come to hate it here and are moving to MA/NH thiscoming summer. Darling Husband and I want a house and kids and having that on one income where we live now just isn’t possible. I refuse to work just to put my kids in day care so we’re blowing this state. My dad wants to actually retire and enjoy his life with my mom so they’re leaving because of the high cost of living here. That, coupled with the recent death of my younger brother, had us all re-evaluating our life choices. On the plus side, my parents and DH’s parents actually like each other (it seems rare to me) and I loveDH’s parents like my own so we will enjoy all being close by.  California just isn’t worth the cost to us any more. 


For holidays, we spent the first two Christmases in MA with DH’s family and all Thanksgivings with mine. The past two years, we’ve stayed in CA for Christmas and visited DH’s family at other (cheaper) times of the year. I anticipate spending next year’s holiday season with both my parents and the in-laws at the same place. Like I said, we all get along so I can totally see my parents going to in-laws house for holidays or us hosting everyone at our house. 

Post # 15
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m from Massachusetts and my Fiance is from Mississippi, so to say we’re from different worlds would be a huge understatement!

We haven’t started this tradition yet, but we plan on spending Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his (it also helps that my family is Jewish and his is Christian…).

I do feel bad because my family also lives in MA, so we see them waaaaay more often than we see his parents (we see my family all the time…the last time we saw his parents was in January). But I don’t know what else we’re supposed to do? 

Post # 16
522 posts
Busy bee

I’m from NY, and my SO is originally from MD. His parents are currently living in SC, my family lives in NY, and we live in FL.

Holidays are always confusing and complex for us, ha. 

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