(Closed) Are you annoyed that people think your Save the Date is the formal invitiation!?

posted 5 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
2610 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

Ugh yes, the one that annoys me the most with this is FI!! He keeps asking me why I am sending out three sets of invitations to our wedding.

In his mind this is me sending out three sets of invitations to the same event…

  1. Save the Dates
  2. Wedding Invitations
  3. Rehearsal Dinner Invitations

I keep trying to explain and he just thinks it’s a stupid waste of money and why didn’t we just send everything at one time? Or send an e-mail? Or won’t people just know about the rehearsal dinner without an invitation? I beg him to just let it go and not try to understand it but trust me that I am not doing anything overly extravagant here…SMH

I was more understanding to overseas relatives where I know the Save the Dates are not as common.

Post # 4
155 posts
Blushing bee

No.  I figure a lot of people aren’t looking at wedding planning ideas/blogs don’t know about these things.  I’m just happy they’re happy for me!


Post # 5
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I did not have one single person think it was the real invite.  Then again save the dates are very common in my family, and on both my and FI’s sides we’ve had a lot of recent weddings so I guess they’re used to it.  We probably would have gotten some very confused responses if they thought it was the invite…all it had was the date and city and no other info.


Post # 6
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@little_lamb:  I felt really stupid about feeling annoyed so I kept it to myself but I did! So glad someone can relate. One of fiance’s friends who frequents his bookstore kept coming in and everytime would mention that he was confused by our ‘invitation’ and casually complained that there wasn’t enough information on it!

1) It had our wedding website listed prominently with a TON of info on it.

2) He had just gotten married himself… how is he THAT oblivious?

3) It also said ‘formal invitation to follow’

It bothered me way more that he was bother/complaining to my FH about it than it actually bothered my fiance. He thought it was funny. Men!

Post # 8
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Everybody asked me why on earth i was sending my invitations out eight months early. It said, quite clearly, “Formal invitation to follow”

Post # 9
2351 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes! I got so many questions about what time and where the event would be bec my invitation didn’t say. Omg how many times did I have to say ‘we actually don’t have a start time finalized yet, it’s still a year away, this is just a save the date! Formal invitations will follow!’

Maybe Save-The-Date Cards are a trend that developed in just the last decade. There hadn’t been a wedding in either of our families for over 12 years.

Post # 10
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I only had one person, my cousin, text me and say he’s RSVPing for the wedding with his plus one. I was like great! Thanks! But the invites don’t go out until February! He was like, wait, I swear I got something in the mail. I’m like, yes, you did, but that’s just a reminder to save the date since our wedding is on a Friday. We wanted to give everyone a heads up! LOL.

Post # 11
4040 posts
Honey bee

We only had one family (sister in law’s) who RSVPd. Her kids are in the bridal party, so I guess they’re excited? I’m sure a few people already know they aren’t coming; I wish we’d get some no responses, so we can invite more people. It never seems to go that way.

Post # 13
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Since I’ve never actually received a save the date, just formal invites, we decided to forego sending save the dates altogether precisely because people would be confused.  It is a shame though Frown since save the dates are adorable Smile.

Post # 14
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@little_lamb:  lol.   I’m not annoyed but it’s pretty funny!  It’s happened a lot for us, too.  Especially with the men on the guest list.  Doens’t help that Mr. S refers to them as the invitations, too!  “Babe…. those were NOT our invitations…”

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