(Closed) Are you changing your name?

posted 7 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: What are you doing about your last name?
    Changing to FI's last name : (339 votes)
    74 %
    Keeping my maiden name : (71 votes)
    15 %
    Coming up with a new last name : (10 votes)
    2 %
    Other (leave in comment) : (39 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 92
    Member
    3449 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    something like that. I’ll have two last names (not two middle names). It makes so much sense for my job for someone to be able to address me as either last name and still be legally/technically correct. We’re both familiar with this practice as we’re from different parts of Latin America and see this in Spanish-speaking families all the time.

    Overjoyed Ecstatic Elated. No hyphen.

     

    Post # 93
    Member
    714 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Before I was married I had this same dilemma.  To further my issue, I had no boy cousins (or brothers) that would be carrying on our family name. Here is the “progressive” plan we came up with (and implemented):

    I changed my last name and kept my maiden name as a middle name…I also kept my original middle name.

    My husband (who didn’t have a middle name) took my maiden name as a middle name.

    Our son (and all future children) will also have my maiden name as a middle name.

    By The Way, one of my sisters did not change her name when she got married but just recently did (they have been married for over 10 years now) because now they have kids and she decided she wanted the same name as her kids.

    My other sister did change her name when she got married.  There was no connection to that last name (her husband didn’t even know the father that the name came from).  She got divorced and when she remarried she changed her name back to our maiden name!

    Post # 94
    Member
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I am having huge issues with this as well 🙁 If I take my Fiance last name, my first and last name will rhyme. I’ve already heard the snarky comments about it.

    But I seriously can not stand hyphenated last names and Fiance would be pissed if I didn’t, so I will end up sucking it up and probably taking my maiden name as my middle name.

    Post # 95
    Member
    15 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I voted other. I am keeping my name, but he is changing his last name to mine. We had talked it over quite a bit before even becoming engaged and he came up with the idea. My last name is very important to me and it is a unusual name that I share with a large extended family. My parents were never married and I always used my mom’s last name expect for when I absolutely legally had to use my father’s last name for something. I had it legally changed the day I turned 18.

    My name is very important to me. My fiance on the other hand, doesn’t have strong feelings about his last name, but it was very important to him that we have the same last name. He is enstranged from his father’s family. His mother remarried and has a different last name. The only person with his name is his sister, who is getting married and changing her name less than a year after our wedding.I was hesitant when he proposed the idea, but have grown to really like it. Both of our families seem to like the idea too. As an bonus, my full name sounds really awesome and his first name will sound really awesome with my last name! And way less confusion when we have kids. Yay!

    Post # 96
    Member
    8482 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Yess. I cant wait to get rid of my weird last name. Everytime I have to tell someone my last name they just look at me like O.o and then go “huh?”

    I didnt know how common it was for women to not change their last names till I got on the Bee. And I had never heard of changing your middle name to your maiden name. I have also never heard of making up your own last name.

    Post # 97
    Member
    129 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Yes! I can’t wait to change my name.

    I can’t wait to wake up to him in the morning and say good morning Mr. [insert our last name which I won’t say on here] and he will say good morning Mrs. [insert last name]

    I am also a writer and I have decided that I will use my maiden name for publishing (if and when I get there) and my married name for day to day business.

     

     

    Post # 98
    Member
    846 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    i am not looking forward to changing my last name.. i love it! and if my brother does not have a son, there will be no more of us. to make matters worse, my fiance’s last name is really common (it’s a smith-johnson-brown name). but before the bee, i never even heard of the wife not taking her husbands last name or him taking hers. it’s just not common at all where i come from.

    Post # 99
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee

    I have both, mine then his 🙂

    Post # 100
    Member
    503 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Keeping my maiden name professionally, but will answer to Mrs.— in my personal life when married.

    Post # 101
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee

    My plan, similar to @barbie86, is to use his last name personally (and legally). But, since I’m established in my field with my maiden name, I’ll probably use both last names at least until people know who I am. 

    Post # 102
    Member
    418 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I’m changing my last name. He wouldn’t be marrying me if I didn’t. It’s just that important to him.

    Not only that, but my last name isn’t my identity. I am who I am REGARDLESS of what my name is. My thought has always been that those who think that they lose part of who they are if they change their name never really knew who they were in the first place so they place an attachment on a name. What if you found out that in a hospital somewhere they made a mistake and misspelled your name, making it something else. Does that somehow erase the person you’ve been all your life? For those of you who say that doesn’t happen, that’s EXACTLY what happened to my mother and she laughed it off. It was HILARIOUS to us. She’s never tried to correct the mistake either, and she’s in her 60’s. EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING she has says the name she always thought she’s had – her paychecks, her degrees, her passport (thanks to some very understanding Government employees <– that’s how she discovered the mistake), her baptismal certificate from the 1950’s, her school records…

    Not to mention, we are having a very traditionally Christian ceremony, marriage and household. It’s what you’re SUPPOSED to do. Both of you. Cleave and leave. 

    I’m getting off my soapbox now.

    Post # 103
    Member
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I always figured I’d take FI’s last name when we married (date has yet to be determined,though), especially since we’ve got a son due within the next month.

    Post # 104
    Member
    211 posts
    Helper bee

    I consider myself feminist and have some pretty strong views about some patriarchal traditions.  However, I do plan to take his name, and couldn’t imagine it any other way.  I want to have the same last name as Fiance and our future children.  But I totally get it when people keep their maiden name, hyphenate, make it a middle name etc.  To each their own…

    Post # 105
    Member
    2190 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I am taking his. I was hesitant at first. I love my last name. It is Persian and long (10 letters! and constantly mispronounced). But it reflects my heritage and it’s a great conversation starter. “How do you say that?” I respond with “Try it!” 

    My fiance’s last name is simple. 5 letters and common. But he doesn’t have any family attachment to it. 

    There is no way I’d hyphenate it. That’s just cruel to our future children! And moving it to my middle doesn’t work either, as everyone addresses me by my Middle name. There’s no way I’d remove my first either as it is a Persian name too. Taking my name is not an option for him. It’s not that he’s too traditional, but he has no desire for it, and I can understand. 

    What sealed the deal for me was that it is important to him. He wants us to be Mr & Mrs HisLastName. And for our children to have the same. The other day I said “Goodmorning Mr.HisLastName” and he said “Goodmorning Future Mrs.HisLastName”. It made me smile so big! Now I can’t wait to be Mrs.HisLastName!!!

    Post # 106
    Member
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’ll be taking his last name, changing my middle name to my maiden name. I like my current middle name (mother’s maiden name), but mother cheated on father and left the family, so I don’t want to keep it.

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