(Closed) Are you changing your name?

posted 5 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Who changed their name?

    Bride, to the Groom's last name

    Groom, to the Bride's last name

    Didn't change name

    Hyphenated name

    Both Changed names

    Created a new last name

  • Post # 31
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    Me and my Fiance are still discussing what to do about this! I have only sisters and would like to carry on my name in some way so I would like to hyphenate. But he doesn’t want to, and him not wanting to is making me just want to keep my own but then we’re thinking do we hyphenate any future children? 

    I think I will make a final decision near the time. 

    My last name would make a terrible middle name, so I doubt we will go down that route! 

    Post # 32
    Member
    7550 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    Much as I love my last name, I am very traditional and will be changing to his last name.

    Post # 33
    Member
    927 posts
    Busy bee

    Has anyone changed their FIRST name? I’m really stuck on what to do.

    My first name is Danielle and my last name is long and boring, but he has called me Elle as a pet name since we met 8 years ago, and his family calls me Elle. Danielle totally does not work with his last name, but Elle Noir sounds nice to me.

    I’m moving across the country for a new job in May, so it would be totally easy for me to just introduce myself as Elle. But every time I try to get up the nerve to give it as my name, even at like Starbucks, I can’t do it. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    126 posts
    Blushing bee

    I wonder if I’m the only one whose Fiance wants me to keep my last name? 😀 He really is the greatest lol. I have been telling him I want to take his once we are married for a few reasons, eventually I want our kids to share a name, I am not particularly close to my parents and would like a “fresh start” with my new family once we are married, I also just think his name sounds better with my first name. 

    He really wants me to keep my last name, he thinks it sounds more professional for work and is more unique and will therefore be more recognizable when getting new clients. I am leaning towards changing my name legally but professionally being known as my maiden name. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    215 posts
    Helper bee

    Fiance and I are traditional and live in a very traditional area. I’m changing my last name to his. I think it’s romantic. I’m considering adding my maiden name as a second middle name. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    356 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2017

    No, because why?

    Post # 37
    Member
    1519 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    View original reply
    tiffles :  I hate my last name so I’m changing it. If I didn’t hate it, I probably wouldn’t change because the tradition itself isn’t hugely important to me, just getting rid of my shitty last name.

    Post # 38
    Member
    839 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m pretty against the name changing tradition buuuut I did it anyway because my maiden name is 12 letters of dreadful and my new name is short and adorable. I’m cool with it. 

    Post # 39
    Member
    25 posts
    Newbee

    Not even engaged yet, but I’m not planning on changing my name.  I’ve never loved my first or middle name, but my last name is a different story.  It’s been my identity my entire life and I’m not going to lose it just because I get married.  Boyfriend knows about this and he told me that it’s my choice and he’s fine with it.  To each their own- I have no problem with other women changing their names, if that’s what they choose.

    Post # 40
    Member
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I had always intended to keep my last name, but as we get closer and closer I realised how much I wanted to have the same name and be our own family. Plus I’m less and less in contact with my dad so don’t see the point of keeping the name. Plus my mum has said she will revert to her maiden name at the same time (parents are divorced) seeing as she no longer feels the need to have the same name as me.

    Post # 41
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee

    I have thought about just going by his last name to friends and family, but not legally changing it. It just seems like so much trouble to change it both for documents (SSN, DL, Passport) and for work. Our current last names actually start with the same 3 letters, and the way that I already sign my last name could easily pass as either name. Also, I kind of like my current last name. It is common enough that it isn’t misspelled or mispronounced and his last name, while short and easy to spell, is often mispronounced (which I don’t understand how people do, but whatever). 

     

    I personally am not fond of hyphenated last name or asking him to take mine. I think the idea of using your maiden name as your new middle name is a nice idea, but I already have two middle names (it was a thing in my family) so that wouldn’t be an option for me. 

    Post # 42
    Member
    79 posts
    Worker bee

    I’m most likely changing my last name to his, since I do want that sense of family cohesiveness when we have kids, and because he’s pretty adamant about me adopting his name.  I’m super hesitant about this for several reasons- first and foremost because my last name consists of THREE letters while his has ELEVEN?? Second, I’m in a professional career and it will be difficult for clients to pronounce my married name let alone spell it.  

    Anyone else have this issue in your careers?  I’m more worried about this than I should be! 

    Post # 43
    Member
    5 posts
    Newbee

    View original reply
    futurebrideesq :  I’m with you on this one.  I love my family but we are a very traditional family so they would expect me to take his name. I look forward to having his last name.

    Post # 44
    Member
    1727 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    misskate18 :  I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I created a second account! Lol. This is me in a nutshell. I changed my name to his. Granted I only gained 1 letter. The paperwork is a bear though. I’m still changing it 8+ months later. I got 5 certified copies of our marriage certificate. The last one goes in the mail tomorrow. I truly hope I don’t need anymore.

    We’re CFBC so the keeping name for children means nothing to us. We’re also the last of both our last names. Our last names hyphenated sounds really dirty. We can combine them to form a new last name but it sounds really silly (yes, we’re actually used it to be funny).

    For the record, DH didn’t care what I did (before or after wedding). By the time we got married, I was almost 30 so I’ve had my awful last name forever. He also didn’t realize until I started doing it, what a PITA it was to actually do! For a while I made him pay for everything and give his name for everything because I didn’t know what to do while everything was in the process of changing. (I.e. License had new name, checks, debit, and credit card had maiden name)

    Post # 45
    Member
    49 posts
    Newbee

    My boyfriend and I have talked about this a lot. I am very adamant about not changing my last name to his, but we are looking into other options (taking one of our family member’s maiden names, hyphenation, or creating a new last name with our two last names). I know my boyfriend would like it if I changed my name to his, that is just not going to happen.

    I grew up with my mom keeping her maiden name, and having my dads last name whereas my youngest sister has my moms. We were an untraditional family but we weren’t any less of a family unit. My uncle changed his last name to his wife’s when he got married. And my other aunt has the same family dynamic as that of mine. I’ve grown up being exposed to progressive and modern ways and I am not able to give in to the tradition of changing my name to my husband’s when I marry. It just makes me cringe thinking about being called Mrs. Boyfriendsfirstname Boyfriendslastname yikes.

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