Are you changing your last name?

posted 6 months ago in Traditions
  • poll: Are you changing your name?
    Nope, keeping my family name : (44 votes)
    27 %
    Yes, I am taking his name : (98 votes)
    60 %
    We are hyphenating both of our names : (5 votes)
    3 %
    I am hyphenating and he is keeping his name : (8 votes)
    5 %
    He is taking my name : (3 votes)
    2 %
    We have made up our own name and are both changing it : (4 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    16 posts
    Newbee

    I never really thought about this myself either until after we got married – I just kind of took it in the traditional sense as a given. I did change mine, and I think it’s nice as makes you feel like a complete little family unit, however I do regret not giving it more thought.
    I miss my maiden name very much so! My husband is not Western by birth, so I now have an unusual surname which doesn’t really go with my name. That being said, I look to be the only person in the world with my name which is a unique thing! Definitly give it some thought 🙂

    Post # 3
    Member
    1677 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I will be. I do not want to be attached to this name anymore. The more I think about it, it is  very weird feeling to give up the name I’ve had for 31 years, but I don’t like my family. When he talks about my being his wife there is such pride, there is pride when they say they are part of their family. I want that. I don’t care how big of a pain it will be to change all the documents. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    6920 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I was planning on changing it but we moved right after the wedding and I didn’t want to change it while I was job hunting since all of my references know me by my last name and I didn’t want there to be any confusion. Now it’s been 8 months since our wedding and honestly, changing it just seems like a hassle. I changed it on Facebook and I’ll go by his last socially but legally I’m thinking I’m just going to keep my last name at this point.

    Maybe when we have kids I’ll reconsider.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1162 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I can’t wait to take his last name <3

    Post # 7
    Member
    391 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    I’ve wanted to change my name since I was like 10 years old. I was raised by my maternal grandparents and would’ve preferred to have the same last name as them. I have no desire to be attached in any way to my dad’s family.

    That said, I’ve been married for 4 months and I still haven’t gotten around to legally changing my name. It took 3 months for our marriage certificate to be issued. I only had about 6 weeks of my degree left at that point (now there are only 12 more days!!), and I just didn’t want to worry about all the paperwork and document changes when I was already super busy.

    I use DH’s last name socially, which is fine for now. One of these days I’ll tackle the paperwork.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1719 posts
    Bumble bee

    What I discovered when I got engaged is that I’m a lot less traditional than I always thought when it comes to marriage. I do not plan to take my partner’s name. I didn’t give our child his last name, either. I love my father and want his name to continue.

    Post # 9
    Member
    370 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - State Park

    I am not changing my name. I can remember being about 9 years old and thinking it was a weird concept. I never stopped. 

    I don’t think of keeping it as “my family name”. It’s just my name. It’s been my name for 30 years, it’s my identity. Yes, we are a couple, and that’s important. But I am also an individual. This is my name, and keeping it doesn’t make our relationship any less significant. 

    I wouldn’t change my name, no matter what. But what adds to my current especially strong stance is that I have an extremely common first name (and middle name for that matter), but a very unique last name. He has an extremely common last name. It’s bad enough differentiating between all the Sarahs around my life, I don’t need to end up on the no-fly list too!

    I’ll be Sarah Uniquename until the day I die. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    476 posts
    Helper bee

    A year before I met FI I was serioulsy considering changing my name, for no reason other than I like what choosing a new name signifies: taking on a new identity, a new role, a new mission. I thought it was empowering to choose my own name.

    I went as far as filling out the paperwork and was saving for the court costs.

    When I met FI, he disagreed with me. He thinks a name is something you should receive from others. He had a lot of thoughtful things to say about it. He helped me pick out the one I wanted. But he disagreed with the idea and told me “let me know before you change it.” In this way he guaranteed I would not go through with it, because even though he didn’t tell me not to, I realized I respected his opinion too much.

    I’m going to change my name to his … since that is my choice, I am happy. Since it is a name I am receiving from him, he is happy. 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    601 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2017 - Cottage

    torontobride28 :  I renewed my passport for 10 years too, just last year. Ugh. But I am taking his name. And I will order a new passport. The reason that im taking his name is that we both want our future kids to have his name. I am not particularly attached to mine.. and I want to have the same name as our future kids.. so I am changing my name.

    Neither of us wants to hyphenate or our kids to have hyphenated names. And we dont want to make a new name either.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1369 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

    As a kid, I always thought I would change my last name. Now that I’m an adult about to get married, I really want to keep my name. I’m a teacher, I have 3 degrees in my name, and we’re not having kids. I love my FI’s last name, but most people don’t pronounce it correctly (whereas I have a very common last name), and I can’t think of any reason to change my last name other than to follow western tradition. With that said, I wouldn’t be offended or mad if someone called me Mrs. FI’sLastName; to the contrary, I’d actually be happy, but I’m not legally changing it.

    Post # 13
    Member
    697 posts
    Busy bee

    I changed my last name but it was hard for me to do as I’m attached to my maiden name. I dropped my middle name & made my maiden name my middle name. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    709 posts
    Busy bee

    I kept my name. My husband’s last name is actually very similar to mine, so hyphenating would look ridiculous. Plus, I’m all about the easy route. Less paperwork. 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    2900 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I don’t like the sound of my name with his either, but I changed it. It actually meant a lot to him that I did, and on top of that we have two kids and it is easier having the same last name as them.

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