Post # 47
Member
3208 posts
Sugar bee
@LilDrAnya: It’s actually Butt, singular. Oh boy.
On the plus side, FH was a good natured jock growing up, so he didn’t experience much teasing or bullying growing up. However, I really don’t want to subject myself or my future children to the snickers he experiences spelling his surname out over the phone.
He doesn’t like my last name (it’s very ethnic, and he doesn’t want others to think he’s Italian), and I won’t change to his. We want a unified family name, so we’re stumped.
Post # 48
Member
3208 posts
Sugar bee
@kelseyandDj912: Your name is part of your identity though. I wouldn’t compromise on my name in exchange for my other half compromising on the wedding ceremony. Will you be keeping your maiden name as a middle name?
I really don’t understand when men expect a woman to change her name when they refuse to entertain any ideas of themselves changing their’s. My best friend’s ex-husband’s excuse was, “Derrrr–it’s always been my last name and I won’t be hyphenating it with hers” while he fully expected her to change hers. Hyphenation was a long-fought compromise after she promised that any children would have just his surname.
Post # 49
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
I’m changing my name to his. And as if changing my name legally isn’t enough of a pain, there’s a whoooole other set of paperwork to change it for my military records.
He’s worth it. 😉
Post # 50
Member
2305 posts
Buzzing bee
I wanted to hyphenate my entire life. I’m very connected to my last name, was called it by a lot of people in high school, and my last name is very well known in the city I grew up in, and i liked being connected automattically with that.
But, of course I had to fall for the man with the ONLY letter in the alphabet that makes my hyphenated initials a bad word. My initials would become C.U.M. So yeah, that’s not happening.
So I’ll be taking his last name, and dropping my maiden name.
Post # 51
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
My situation is a little complicated. Legally, I’ll be hyphenating my name. I just don’t want to “lose” my name. While it’s hard to spell, and most people have difficulty pronouncing it, I’ve had it for 30 years now. I’m just used to it. Also, I went to school under my maiden name, and have worked using it so I don’t want it to go away entirely. My husband’s name is MUCH easier to spell and pronounce, plus I like us having the same last name. Socially I will just go by his last name (maybe I’m more tradiational than i’d like to admit to). And academically I will go by my maiden name – I’ve published under it, and it’s just easier to me.
Post # 52
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper
He’s taking mine 🙂 …..so I’m obviously keeping it. (I guess we could trade, but, nah, I like the one family name thing).
Post # 53
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
@letigre: +1 – I can’t imagine changing my name in return for a say in the ceremony…
In answer to the original q, I imagine I’ll end up hyphenating. He would rather I took only his name, and I would rather keep mine. My level of compromise = hyphenate.
Post # 54
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I want to keep. Fiance wants me to change. I suspect that the status quo will win, and I will end up keeping it!
Post # 55
Member
31 posts
Newbee
Im taking my fi last name i just see it as being easier and it gives me the sense that we are really one. Plus when kids come around theres no questions on whos last name to use and why does mummy and daddy have diffrent last names.
Post # 56
Member
11139 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I’ve kept my last name for prosessiona
Post # 57
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
I’m changing… I’m actually really excited to take FH’s last name 😀 For me it signifies us becoming a family.
Post # 58
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
@letigre: sorry, didn’t mean to offend you with the “butt” comment! I do like the idea of taking elements of both last names and combining into one. I had friends who did that who both had really awkward-sounding last names. His began with GOR- and hers ended in -AN so they combined it into a nice, easy GORDON.
Post # 59
Member
3208 posts
Sugar bee
@LilDrAnya: haha, I’m not offended at all! His last name is a running joke amongst all his buds and he loves it.
We’ve tried every combination of our last names possible (even rearranging letters or using anagrams) and it just doesn’t work. My last name is 2 syllables and his is one, so there’s not much to work with. Using a combination of our mother’s maiden names was interesting to me, but his dad is really traditional and would be offended.
Post # 60
Member
1647 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site
I voted keeping mine because I can’t actually legally change my name in this idiotic province, but I will go by his name socially. I really would have liked to take his name
Post # 61
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
Still undecided. I like my name, and always had the idea that if I got married then I’d be changing my name. So I started researching the process, and I’m really not happy about the bureaucracy of it. I work for the government and there will be 12 forms just to change it for work. That in addition to social security, DMV, bank, credot card, store loyalty cards, insurance…I would loke to keep my name legally, but just use his socially.