(Closed) are you changing your name, hyphenating or keeping?

posted 7 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: what are you doing with your name afterwards?

    keeping my maiden name

    changing to his name

    we're hyphenating it

    nothing - he's taking my name!

  • Post # 77
    Member
    44 posts
    Newbee

    My last name ia gaelic and NOT phoenetic; when pronounced right it is pretty, wrong it is terrible, and it is almost universlly wrong- people dont have a clue they may be misprouncing it, either (think seamus… I’d say “sea-mus” too, without a doubt, if i didnt know better). And i never know hos to correct people, since it is such a natural thing to do. 

    So, I’m taking his easy to pronounce, easy to spell name. If I had an easier name, I’d probably keep it (partly because im lazy!). But, that plus the fact that he would like to have me take his name, all things being equal, means i’ll do a hillary rodham clinton thing and use my maiden name as my middle name. All kids will also get my maiden name as a middle name.

    However, I  live in DC, where it is super common for women to keep last names, and i almost feel pressure to keep it sometimes! I worry it will make me seem less professional and serious. 

    Post # 78
    Member
    1344 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

    His family is very traditional and are constantly pressuring him to have male offspring to continue the family name, so I’m taking his name. My dad doesn’t care in the least because he sees genetics being carried to the next generation even if the name doesn’t carry on, and besides, my best friend, who transitioned from female to male two years ago, is thinking about changing his surname to my dad’s/my maiden name because we’ve grown so close to him over the last twelve years that I’ve known him, so there will still be a guy out there with my dad’s surname, haha!

    Post # 79
    Member
    9079 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I changed my name. It was very important to my husband and he probably would have had second thoughts about marrying me if I had refused.

    Post # 80
    Member
    2093 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I will be taking his last name and dropping mine. I will keep my middle name, my original given  middle name from birth because it’s an attachment to my mom. I realize the modern thing to do right now is for the bride to drop her middle birth name and use her maiden name as that and then use her husband’s last name.

    But I do not have a real relationship with my dad and I’m ready to drop that part of my life. I can’t say it’s been easy though!! It’s def been a process for me. But now I’m in a place where I’m ok with it.

    My new last name sounds simple but the spelling is complicated. Fi says “Welcome to a lifetime of an annoying last name!” 🙂

    Post # 82
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee

    So excited to take his last name.  I never even thought of keeping my own! 

    Post # 83
    Member
    117 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’m definitely taking my husband’s last name.

    I’m still not 100% sure about what I’m doing for my middle name. I had said I was just going to keep my middle, but there is still the option of dropping my middle and using my maiden as my middle. (That was a lot of middles.)

    Post # 84
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I’m considering hyphenating, but some of these posts are making me rethink that.

    Post # 85
    Member
    882 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m kept mine professionally, but took his for everything else. 

    Post # 86
    Member
    366 posts
    Helper bee

    My SO and I will have to discuss this topic – and I don’t think it’ll be pretty. lol

    In my ideal world, he’d take my last name and we (and any future children) would all be MyLastName. But I don’t think THAT will happen.

    I’m the last of MyLastName (Let’s pretend it’s Smith). He’s one of FOUR boys with his (Let’s pretend they are Jones). I’m very close with my family. He’s not. We spend 10x more time with my family than his. In reality, he’s integrated more with my family than I’m with his. We ARE more like Smith’s than Jones’ . But … men never contemplate loosing their last names cause it’s not expected of them so they balk at any suggestion of it.

    He’s said he’s fine with me keeping Smith, as long as future children are Jones’. I have a problem with that. I want to have the same last name as my children. After all, I birthed them! They are MINE. And the whole point is that I’m the last Smith. Letting me keep it, but not passing it on to children defeats the purpose.

    My compromise would be that we BOTH hypenate and take each other’s last names. ie: Mr.&Mrs. Smith-Jones. Children would be Susie and Bobbie Smith-Jones.

    I think that would be the fairest, but I dont’ know if he’ll go for it. 🙁

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