Post # 1
I noticed in a thread over on the waiting board (Who will you tell first when you get engaged?) that many people responded with parents and grandparents. When I get engaged, I most likely will not call my grandparents. I’m not close to them whatsoever and that bums me out a little. There are a few reasons for this: distance, not seeing them very often growing up, and the fact that they were, for the most part, terrible parents to my parents and because of that, I have a hard time respecting them and getting close to them.
My SO is incredibly close to his grandparents. He talks to his grandpa at least once a week and absolutely adores him. I think it’s the cutest.
Both mine and SO’s parents will be amazing grandparents at least. My future children will be incredibly fortunate in that regard!
What about you? Are you close to your grandparents?
Post # 3
I have always been closer to my dad’s parents than my mother’s; my mom is one of many kids and there’s a ton of grandchildren, where my dad’s side, there’s only 4 grandchildren including me, and my cousins were much older than me so I got all kinds of love and attention, despite the fact that we lived an 18 hour drive away.
Now my dad’s parents both died years ago, as did my mother’s dad. I’m not at all close to my mom’s mom and I’ve made my peace with that. She lives in a different province, she makes an effort to contact all of my cousins but not me or my brother, and honestly she’s been pretty horrible to my mother over the last few years. I didn’t tell her I’m getting married, although perhaps my mom did.
Luckily my parents are excellent grandparents themselves; they are super close to my daughter.
Post # 4
My paternal grandparents are still living and we’re very close. I lived with them in high school and even before I actually moved in with them, I spent a lot of time at their house. They more or less raised me from 13 on so, yeah, we’re close. 🙂
Post # 5
My dad’s parents passed when I was young, but my mom’s parents are still very much alive. I used to be close to both of them, but apparently not anymore…
Post # 6
Yes I’m very close to my grandparents. They are like another set of parents for me.
Post # 7
Standing date with Grandpa for martinis and steak every Thursday night, Mr. 99 and I look forward to it every week.
Post # 8
when i was younger i was close to my nanny (my moms mom) (my dads mom) my grandma wasnt around us kids as much as she should have been. i moved to where i now live at a young age (5) so i never got to see my grandparents as much as i want have liked. my dads dad, lives in flordia and have only saw him a handful of times. his stepdad passed away when i was in high school. my moms dad has NEVER been in my life.
Post # 9
My parents were divorced when I was five, so my mother, brother, and I moved in with my mom’s parents. My grandmother is my champion and best friend. My grandfather and I are close, but I’m definitely my grandmother’s daughter 😉
The only downside is I’m engaged to a black man and they have made it very clear they don’t approve of me dating him so we haven’t told them about the engagement. It breaks my heart to not tell my grandma something… especially something so important. As much as I know she loves me and would be OK because I mean more to her than the color of my FI’s skin, but she wouldn’t be able to not tell my grandfather and my grandfather… my grandfather is a harder situation. He has sundowners (a form of alzheimer’s) and his mood fluctuates with the time of the day (very challenging) and has become racist in recent years. He was a school teacher for 40 years and not one time ever judged someone based on race, but a whole lot of factors have made it HIM an impossible situation. It’s very sad. Outside of this major dilemma, my grandparents have always been more my parents then my parents are.
Post # 10
My mom’s parents I am super close to. I was close to my dad’s dad and step mom until his dad died when I was 6, the step mom was someone my grandfather married long after my dad was an adult and out of the house so he had no connceciton to her really and they lived far away so I haven’t seen her since my grandpa died. We do call and talk to her at Thanksgiving or Christmas.
Post # 11
I’m feeling a little sad reading this. Three of my grandparents are dead and the remaining one is pretty deep into Alzheimers and has other Major Issues. Two grandparents died when I was a child, before I really knew them. I was the closest to my remaining grandfather and he died recently–it was a big shock as he was incredibly healthy for his age and we all thought we had many more years with him. And my remaining grandmother was just hard to get close to though since she has been suffering from the Alzheimers for a good 10-15 years, although it only got more pronounced recently. She’s absolutely crazy about me (her only grandchild) but it is hard to bond with someone who can’t really can’t follow conversation and has pretty much spent the last 20 years as a hermit.
I miss my grandpa.
Post # 12
I love my grandma a ton, but we were never really very close. I love to visit her, but otherwise we don’t really call each other and keep in touch. I’m actually closer to my husband’s grandmas, they are really the most loving and warm people I know.
Post # 13
I only have one living grandmother, and she was the third person I told (parents, two best friends, then grandma). I see her probably once every month or two, but grew up quite close to her as a child, since she babysat me a lot, and then I lived with her temporarily in university rather than getting my own place, since my parents moved 5 hours away.
Post # 14
I was very close to my grandfather who passed away when I was 20. I adored him and he adored me. He taught me all the potty words, and tease the living out of me. I made him wear lipstick and have tea parties in his vegetable patch. He’d call me Mary Jane, and tell me that the name my parents gave me was silly. I used to go to the cattle market with him and was paraded around like I was a princess. Whatever I did he celebrated. My grandmother was the strict one, but adored us just the same. I have a good relationship with her now, and enjoy going for day outs with her when I’m home – she is completely batty and an absolute blast.
The other grandparents always left us feeling unwanted and like the runts of the family. I’m closer to my grandmother from that side than my grandfather, but not particularly. In honesty I don’t really like my grandfather. He treats everybody like poop.
Post # 15
I’m very very close to my maternal grandparents. I tell my grandma things I wouldn’t tell my mum. They’re 86 and 91. I try to speak to them every 2 weeks (7-8 hour time difference makes it tough). When I was living near them I’d see them every week and stay with them once a month.
My Dad’s parents not so much. My grandad died when I was young. When my other grandmother died earlier this year it was still very difficult, her children all lived overseas (my dad included) so my brothers and I sat vigil at her bedside for 24 hours before they could get to the UK. Hardest but best thing I ever did. I really appreciated that time with her.
Post # 16
I was super close to my Dad’s parents, despite us being in Australia and them being in Wales. The last time I actually saw them in person was when they came over for my 4th birthday and Christmas. My grandad passed away in ’05 and my grandma in ’07. I’d always wanted to fly over and see them but wasn’t able to. One day I’d love to go, and see the house where my dad was raised, the town they lived in, and even their grave.
My mum’s parents, on the other hand, live 5 minutes away, and we haven’t seen them for nearly 8 years. My mum was abused as a child and they are selfish, nasty people who only care about themselves. My mum insisted that I know them though and did her best to make them love her, and me, but they just didn’t care. My mum finally had enough when she turned 50 and they didn’t even acklowledge her birthday (she had no interest in a gift, all she wanted was a simple ‘happy birthday’). The last I heard, they’re still alive. I have no desire to see them, as nasty as that sounds. My mum’s entire side of the family is the same, except for her, and two of her nephews from her oldest brother. The last time we saw my mum’s dad was about 6 years ago at the local shops, once he saw us, he made out he didn’t see us and literally ran past us with his groceries. We didn’t make any effort to approach him.