(Closed) Are you comfortable with your s/o traveling without you?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I went on a week-long vacation with my college girlfriends last summer and he’s gone to Vegas 3 times with his buddies since I’ve known him.  We’re happy for each other to go!  We’re together all the time.  It’s fun to get away with your friends sometimes.

Post # 4
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Guy’s trips and girl’s weekends are a normal, healthy thing. Going to strip clubs is a little weird, but whatever floats someone’s boat is A-ok with me. It’s important to have a level of trust and know what’s ok with your partner. But never being apart or going away for the weekend with girlfriends is a recipe for disaster, IMO.

Post # 5
Member
60 posts
Worker bee

I think its important for guys to go on trips alone. My dad has gone every year to spend a week with his friends from college at the beach and they fish and watch football and just do guy stuff. My Fiance goes on camping trips and does stuff with his friends just like I want to go on scrapbooking retreats with my girl friends.

I don’t believe in strip clubs however. Those are, IMO, just asking for trouble. I do think that its okay for guys to have fun and breaks from us but I don’t think they should do so in a disrespectful way like strip clubs. 

Post # 6
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@amazingsam:  Well these are two separate issues. I trust my SO so I wouldn’t be too worried if he did either. I wouldn’t exactly be happy with either, though.

We budget together and plan our trips together. So far he’s indicated no desire to go on a trip w. male friends. If he did, it would take away from vacations we could take together. I suppose if he really wanted to then we’d work something out, but it would just be odd since it’s not something he typically does. I wouldn’t worry he’d cheat or anything, though. I worry in general for his safety when I’m not around, but I am a pretty paranoid person.

Strip clubs are kinda sketchy and I wouldn’t want him to get a lap dance, but I don’t consider going into one as cheating. He’s over 40 so he’s sowed his wild oats already and the novelty has worn off long ago lol… not worried.

Post # 7
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Uhhhh… two totally different things.

Trips with the guys – great! Fiance and his brother go to a race every year. I’m all for it. I travel to see family without him sometimes.

Not a fan of strip clubs – it wouldn’t be okay behavior if you weren’t paying for it, why is it okay if you’re paying for it. It’s not a deal breaker issue but Fiance knows I strongly prefer he not go. But I know that’s sometimes a part of bachelor parties and such and I’m not going to let that cause a big rift.

Post # 8
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think it depends on the trip. I don’t think I would like it if my SO went to a strip club, but he goes on weekend golf trips with his guy friends all the time, and it doesn’t bother me at all. I think it’s healthy for him to have the ability to spend time with his friends without me breathing down his neck.

I think it would depend on the friends. I know all of his friends and I know they aren’t doing anything inappropriate, and I trust my SO 100% no matter who he is with, but I have to admit that if he had a bunch of stupid and immature friends that liked to do inappropriate stuff, I don’t think I’d be near as ok with it.

Post # 9
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would be pretty disappointed if he wanted to spend his (limited) vacation time on a trip with his guy friends and not with me… Obviously, for his bach. party he went on a trip with just the guys, but we both feel like vacations are the only time the two of us can get away from it all and have special time to connect with each other.  He doesn’t seem to have any desire to go to strip clubs, but if he did, I would be pretty concerned that he wants to see other naked chicks when he has me!

Post # 10
Member
6360 posts
Bee Keeper

Yes on the travel (he has to sometimes for work and things, as do I), no to strip clubs.

 

Post # 11
Member
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@amazingsam:  My favorite thing in this world is when Mr. 99 strikes out on some extra manly hunting trip, shooting extravaganza with  minimal bathing and a lot of beer and swearing…he drags himself home, usually early, reeking of forest, sweat and campfire, with a bag of dirty laundry, the carcass of some animal and a big sunburnt smile on his face…with a smack on my fanny and big kiss he tells me he missed me and asks what’s for dinner…it’s nice.

He tells me all about the trip after a how shower and a few bowls of stew, and I tell him what I was up to while he was gone.

We can’t be everything to each other, just because our lives are joined, does not mean we are joined at the hip, I don’t think it was a traditional issue that people were together every day of their lives, the world was a much larger place until the car and the airplane were developed, even then, my grandfather was one of those guys that was always on the road for work…so it worked, for 50 years for them.

The strip club thing is a hot button issue around here, if it works for the both of you, fine, if not, then you got some compromising to do, and that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Post # 12
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

To answer the topic question: yes

As for strip clubs, Fiance has been to them in the past (before I knew him and, to my knowledge, less than a handful of times).  He hasn’t expressed any desire to go to them now or in the future.  If he wanted to go for his bachelor party, so be it.  We would probably have a discussion on what types of things we’re comfortable/uncomfortable with, idk.  I have been to strip clubs before (no big deal).  I have been to a male revue (Thunder from Down Under); it was more funny than anything (actually pretty gross to get a sweaty kiss on the cheek from those guys).

I think hanging out with your friends and going on trips without your SO is a good thing.  We are together all the time outside of work and I get the itch to have girlfriends around, as does he.

Post # 13
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Travel is fine. He is gone about 75% of the year for work. He has never gone a traditional “guys weekend”. Though if one of his friends were having a party I would be understanding. It is just something guys do. Stip clubs do not pose a threat to me. I know he enjoys my company and I know he would never cross any lines. I have no worries. I say let boys be boys!!

Post # 14
Member
3063 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m okay with both trips without me and my husband going to strip clubs. He’s an adult and knows what my boundries are and what I consider crossing the line.

Post # 15
Member
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Of course I’m fine with it. I feel like you’d have to be pretty dependent/controlling to NEVER let your SO go anywhere without you? Trust is important. I go away without him once in awhile too, though not as often.

The only reason I’d be upset is if it was somewhere I really wanted to go and I wasn’t invited, or if he was traveling with one other lady, just the two of them. (Ladies on the trip are OK as long though, especially if they’re attached.)

Strip clubs are fine by me, though funny enough, I ended up with someone who’s not really into them. (He grumbles that it’s a waste of money and if he wanted to look at naked ladies he’d do it on the internet at home for free.)

Post # 16
Member
9489 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Travel is fine by me.  I’m not ok with constantly going to strip clubs though, so if this were a regular occurance I wouldn’t be okay with it.  I’m okay with it for special occassions (bachelor parties) or if I’m included as well haha.  Every Friday night with the guys at a strip club…no.

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