Are you/did you do a first look?

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 31
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

We will not be doing a first look. I didn’t even know it was a thing till I saw it on this website. I don’t think it’s much of a thing in the UK. Even if it was, I wouldn’t want to do it. It’s framed as this ‘intimate’ and ‘private’ moment, but let’s be real, there’s a photographer (at least 1) and possibly a videographer there too. And even if they stood far back out the way, I’d then feel like we was being papparazzi’d. That is neither intimate or private. Not my cup of tea. 

Post # 32
36 posts
  • Wedding: November 2018

We did it and it was our favourite moment of the day…fave moment ever, really!

We had a destination wedding (I’m from the UK) so we got to decide how the day ran – we had our first look before anyone had seen us, the photographers were miles away and used a drone to film so we didn’t have their presence…it really was just us. Then we walked around the corner and had a first look with all our wedding party too…we had official photos and went straight into cocktails and canapés before making our way down for a sunset ceremony. It was beyond perfect and I don’t regret taking that moment just for us at all. 

I was so nervous walking towards him but I knew it was just me and no one else was watching like at the ceremony so that kept me calm 😂 I enjoyed having that moment to myself as well! 

Post # 33
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We did one and it was amazing. My husband was able to genuinely react and it calmed both of our nerves. Before our first look I couldnt eat because I was so nervous. The second I saw him all of my worries went away. 

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NK2012 :  first look 1first look 2

Post # 34
1976 posts
Buzzing bee

We did and I’m so glad. It was nice to have us time. It did not spoil the walk down the aisle at all. That moment will always be special.  Our day was hectic so it was nice to have 2 hours alone together before the ceremony. 

Post # 35
232 posts
Helper bee

We did a first look for the simple reason of getting all our pictures done before the ceremony. It was amazing to get all the must have photos done before the ceremony. I didn’t want to miss a minute of cocktail hour or the reception (we paid so much for both) so I wanted all of our photos out of the way. 

As it was our photographer took us for a couple more shots after the ceremony (during cocktail hour) and then at sunset. While I love the pictures while we were out doing them I couldn’t help but think that we were missing parts of our cocktail hour and reception. 

Doing photos before the ceremony also gave us a chance to get some great group shots during cocktail hour (sorority sisters, fraternity brothers, DH’s work friends that are more like family, our cousins, aunts and uncle, old family friends, my best friends, etc). I love how all of these turned out and it’s so nice to have nice photos of the people who mean the most to us.

Post # 36
1349 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

We will be doing a first look mostly due to logistics (ceremony is at 3pm…in November in Chicago.  It will be dark by the time the ceremony is done).  The only reason why I agreed to do it is because I have never seen a story where someone regretted doing one.

Post # 37
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

View original reply
NK2012 :  We did not do a first look, and I regret that we didnt. My husband is very stoic and reserved and he doesn’t like big crowds. A first look would have allowed him to feel like himself for a little bit with me. I wish I would have pushed harder to give him that. 

Post # 38
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

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NK2012 :  I was adamant at first about not doing one. However, I posted a similar thread because as I started to schedule my wedding day timelime, I realized if I didn’t do a firs tlook it would cause a huge issue in the schedule and my guests would end up having a large gap between ceremony and reception, which is a huge thing I am not ok with.

One thign another bride said to me that really changed my opinion of it and decide to do one was that: Nothing is going to change the special moment where your FH see’s you walking down the aisle to become his wife. That moment will be amazing and special no matter what. However, the wedding day flies by so quickly, it is over before you know it. So doign a first look gives you and FH time to spend alone together, enjoy eachother and take in your wedding day. Not only that, but then you get two special moments on your big day. One that is quiet and private for the two of you and one where all your famiyl and friends get to see you wakl down the aisle.

Here is my thread if you’re interested in the responses:

Whatever you do, jsut make sure it is what makes you happy!

Post # 39
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I love seeing the first look photos, they’re always so cute and I think some men really are able to let their feelings show better without an audience!

With that being said, we are not doing a first look. I’ll be doing a “first look” with my father, that sounds silly, I know, but I defo want the photographer to capture the moment he comes to walk me down the isle and sees me in my dress, my father is my hero and I’m his first child to get married.

I’m also normally very reserved but in the case of my wedding I cant wait to open those doors and have my fiance see me walking down that aisle! He’s sooooo excited for that moment so the longer the suspense the better. 

Post # 40
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

We are for a couple reasons!

The big one is logistics: we’ve having a winter wedding, so there’s only so much daylight we will have for photos. I plan on doing our photos and bridal party photos before the ceremony, so that we can get extended family photos and mingle more with our guests during cocktail hour.

The second one (and this is more personal) is that I want to see my fiance/husband as much as possible on our wedding day! We plan on staying the night together the night before, so we will wake up together, and will then see each other again once I’m ready. I’m sure I’ll be nervous and the thought of not getting to see or talk to him until we’re at the aisle in front of all those people makes me uneasy and kinda sad in a way. I know it’s traditional and more power to those who still do it, but I want to be able to see each other and have a private moment that day before we become husband and wife.

Post # 41
807 posts
Busy bee

We won’t be doing a first look, at least not with a photographer. Photos aren’t a priority for us, so we plan on cutting down on posed photos and other photo-centric activities. 

I also enjoy the tradition of the bride and groom being seperate until the ceremony, though I don’t feel that strongly about it. If my SO wanted a private moment before the ceremony I would be fine with that, provided it was truly private.

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