(Closed) Are you done having kids? Why or why not?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 31
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2006

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mrsmbeegee :  we currently have 2 boys, 18 months apart who are 7&8 years old. I’ve always wanted 4 children. I’m the oldest of 4 and it’s been great having 3 siblings. It’s also true that when it comes to aging parents and grandparents it’s really nice not having everything fall on my shoulders. My mom (as a single mom) cared for both of my grandparents as they deteriorated in their final years. Since my aunt lives out of the country, my mom had to do it all including new grandchildren and my youngest brother who was still young at the time. My second brother and I were able to step in and help her A LOT. I can’t imagine not having him there to help me as I helped her. I’m glad my sons have each other to help when the time comes. I took a huge break in between babies because I went back to school and got my degree. I’m no longer a spring chicken as I just turned 38 so the nagging decision just got harder. Part of me wishes I had just been insane and done it during school. Some days I REALLY want another baby, other days I’m shocked at how insane that sounds. But my kids really want another sibling and my husband wants one too. We are considering adoption since I’m older and hesitating due to how my body will handle it, but I very much enjoyed my babies and would love nurse one last one! Such a hard decision! 

Post # 32
Member
9580 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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lovechocolate :  unless you are my husband who is secretly posting on the bee you really don’t need to agree with my reasons to have two kids! Lol.

But since you want to debate personal decisions, even if you have long term care insurance your child absolutely will still feel an obligation towards you. That’s what happens when you raise a compassionate human who values family! 

Post # 33
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m pregnant with #2 and we are 95% sure we are done! I would love a third but I never want to be pregnant again for one and two, we would need a bigger house. Boy or girl, for #2 – it doesn’t matter!

Post # 34
Member
3006 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I always wanted two kids, my husband would’ve been fine with one. When our son was 14ish months old we talked about trying again but neither of us was ready. I was still breastfeeding him and he’d just had a horrible run of ear infections. Everyone was exhausted and miserable. We waited until he was 25 months to try again. My husband was on board with another baby, I had a nice break where I was neither nursing nor pregnant, we’d just done an awesome family vacation to Europe, and I got pregnant quickly even though I was almost 35. I’m due in May and my two boys will be 2 years and 10 months apart….we’ll see how it goes but I’m really looking forward to having a second. We’re 99% sure that two kids is he right number for our family so we’ll almost surely be done after this.

Post # 35
Member
3089 posts
Sugar bee

I have two basically 1 year apart and would not dream of having more…

1. Kids are super expensive 

2. I am not overly thrilled about the kind of world we live in today 

3. I have my body and life back ‘somewhat’…thinking of going through the baby stage again is not gonna happen.

For me, 2 is perfect.My son and daughter have each other.It makes no sense for me to go ahead and have more.

Post # 36
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I grew up with two siblings and I cannot imagine anything different. Having siblings was the best parts of my childhood. My parents were lower middle class and couldn’t give us luxuries, but I wouldn’t trade anything for my siblings. Currently pregnant with #1 and definitely plan on having at least one more despite the fact that I really do not enjoy pregnancy 😛

Post # 37
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

When we had DS, I kept saying that we were one and done.  However, the more we thought about it, the more we wanted one more.  I am 21 weeks pregnant with Dear Daughter and when she is born, they will be exactly 2 years apart.  We keep telling each other that we’re done after 2 babies, but we can’t seem to even think about permanently closing that door to a 3rd.  I guess we will see once Dear Daughter is about 15 months old what we want to do.  

Post # 38
Member
597 posts
Busy bee

We have two and it’s perfect for us. I am so happy to never have to be pregnant again. There were some scares with this pregnancy and I think it took years off my life in stress alone. I grew up with two sisters though, and there was no way in heck I was going to have an only child. I’m so thankful for my sisters as an adult. Luckily, my first also became a ton of fun around one year old, and made it easy to try for a second!

Post # 39
Member
7132 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Dh and I dicussed the number of children we would ideally have before we were ever married. We had a plan and we stuck to it. We planned to have three, and we would have had three (barring troubles conceiving) regardless of whether we’d had boys, girls or a mix of both. So we have two boys and one girl and our family is absolutely complete. 

Post # 40
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

FI has an 8 year old son. I have a 3 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. When we first started dating I told him I’m done. He wanted one more but was ok with me being done. After we all started co-habitating we were on the same page.. no more. I mean it’s chaos with these 3! But then I turned 35. I started talking about vasectomies and tubal litagations. We both freaked out lol. When we realized this is “last call for babies” we both kinda got baby fever. We both think we would be insane to add to this full house but we both want an “us”. The kids want a baby sibling. Fiance loves babies (I’m more of a toddler stage and up kid lover). I think we might actually TTC after the wedding in June. It might get crazy here, but I kind of love it. I love that it’s rarely quite. I love watching them grow. I love the laughter. I love the snuggles. Though they are annoying when they fight, it’s secretly kinda funny…I mean they fight over the dumbest stuff! My 3 year old just asked me for paper and a pencil to write my 5 year old a “naughty note” because he pissed her off. You can’t pay for entertainment like this.  It goes by in a blink. I’m totally down to extend this for a few. more years <3

Post # 41
Member
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Our daughter is 18 months, and we are still undecided. I think we’re leaning more towards one and done, but I can’t 100% commit to this yet – my husband could. Our daughter was born with a heart defect which is really swaying our decision (for fear of it happening with baby #2). But we’ll see, I told him once she turns 2 (or maybe 3) we’ll have to really discuss it seriously. 

Post # 42
Member
2514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Number 2 (due in 11 weeks) was a definite yes for us.  The only time I questioned it was immediately after #1 was born. 

We have always wanted 3. I think I’ll always feel like someone is missing if we don’t.  But my pregnancies suck.  Like really suck.  And I don’t know if I can do it a third time.  Adoption is expensive and I’m not sure we can do it with 2 other children.  So we might be done.  I just don’t know.

Post # 43
Member
2309 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Dh and I are undecided. We are both older so part of us thinks one is good but then I get sad at the thoughts of him or her not having a sibling. We are going through IVF so some of it will depend on how many embryos we have to use to get one. 

Post # 44
Member
2710 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t have kids, so i probably don’t really have a say here, but my two sisters that i’m really close to have 5 kids between them so I’m around kids a lot. From what my sisters have told me, 2 kids isn’t twice as hard as having one. Because you’ve already changed your life to accommodate the first baby, and you’re familiar with the patterns it’s not the same leap from 1 – 2 as it was from 0 to 1. However, I’ve heard the leap from 2 – 3 is crazier.

I have three sisters and I can’t imagine my life without them at all, so I know that I do want more than one. I think I would end up feeling sorry for my kid if they had no siblings even though I logically know that lots of single children are happy. I think 3 or 4 would be great for the kids, but I don’t think I could actually handle that, financially or emotionally! So we’re planning on 2. 

Post # 45
Member
2710 posts
Sugar bee

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mrsfj :  Just thought I’d say, there’s a 7-8 between my two older sisters and my younger sisters and I, and the dynamic was actually really great. They were like my mum sisters, and my little sister was like my best friend. I think they learned a lot from helping to take care of us, and my little sister and I learned a lot from them growing up. It was great having someone older I could go to for advice on teenager stuff too that wasn’t going to punish me etc. (the cooler taste in fashion and music didnt hurt either 😉 ) 

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