(Closed) Are you engaged if…

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: You are engaged when
    he has proposed : (174 votes)
    60 %
    he has proposed and presented a ring : (90 votes)
    31 %
    other and I'll post about it : (26 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 17
    771 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I voted proposal and ring because that is what happened to me.

    Theoretically you could be engaged without a ring but to me (and its not for everyone) a ring is kind of put your money where your mouth is type thing.  And I feel like the giver of the ring is making a statement by giving you a ring for THAT finger.

    Post # 18
    3276 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’m very traditional but I consider it engaged when the man gets on one knee with a ring and asks the woman to marry him. 

    Post # 19
    2564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    If you have agreed you are getting married, set a date, booked a venue etc you are engaged.  There does not need to be a ring or “formal” proposal by one party in order to make it an engagement.

    While the majority of people will have some kind of proposal (with or without a ring) those that are actively planning without one I would still consider engaged.

    Post # 20
    12246 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    When two people decide that they shoud get married, they’re engaged in my eyes!

    Post # 21
    2571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @ieatunicorns:  I consider it an engagement if he has proposed and (if he can afford it) has a ring. It doesn’t have to be a $10k Tiffanys ring (or whatever those go for nowadays), but some kind of ring. I only say this b/c I’ve seen so many relationships in real life where the Girlfriend had to “talk the guy into an engagement” and he never proposed, and needless to say, they never got married b/c the Boyfriend or Best Friend was never into it in the first place. I know that there are always exceptions, but this is just what I have observed.

    Post # 22
    2564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @MrsN14:  Well I guess I am not engaged then because this never happened, and will never happen for us.

    Post # 23
    265 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    My Fiance and I have been talking about marriage since we were, 17? Did that mean I considered myself engaged? NOT A CHANCE. I considered myself engaged when he got down on one knee with a ring and asked me to marry him.

    Post # 24
    10019 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @atlbride2013:  +1.  Although I voted when he proposes.  Still, something about it would have seemed unofficial to me without the ring.  My husband felt the same way about it. 

    Post # 25
    370 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @ieatunicorns:  when he’s officially asked and there’s a ring. 

    Post # 26
    868 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @ieatunicorns:  all it takes is a proposal. in fact, it is very nice to have a surprise, romantic proposal and then shop for the ring together.

    Post # 27
    197 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Fiance and I knew we were going to be engaged soon, and I would always joke around that we were engaged to be engaged.


    However, he did not officially become my fiance, nor did I consider ourselves engaged until after he proposed.

    Post # 28
    8038 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    He didn’t propose per se, we just decided to marry and bought a ring… I’d say I considered myself engaged when I started wearing the ring!

    Before that we weren’t quite engaged, but had discussed it for quite some time.

    Post # 29
    480 posts
    Helper bee

    I joked that my promise ring was a “college engagement ring” even bough he thought it was insufficient (I still wore it on the left hand ring finger). We referred to each other on the off-hand as fiance/fiancée because it made explaining something easier. We referred to eachother’s parents as in-laws. We knew we were going to get married later down the road, so it made these things make sense, but we didn’t truly consider ourselves engaged until the proposal (even though we were tentatively planning a wedding by that time already). 

    Post # 30
    463 posts
    Helper bee

    You’re engaged when you’re publicly saying that you’ve promised to marry each other, and you’re actively planning to make that happen.

    How you decide that, and whether gender-specific jewelry is involved, has no effect on the legitimacy of your engagement. Thank goodness.

    Post # 31
    2216 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @ieatunicorns:  I consider a couple engaged once one person has proposed and the other has accepted the proposal. Or in a less traditional sense, once the couple has decided they are getting married and are working directly toward that (ie. planning). 😉

    I don’t think a ring or even a proposal in the traditional sense is necessary for a couple to be engaged to be married. An engagement is a promise to marry someone.

    For ex, if people are arranged to be married, there is not necessarily a formal proposal from one person to the other in the way most people would imagine it, but couple is still effectively engaged.

    Or if a couple decides to get married together (no formal proposal, no engagement ring) and then actively plan the wedding, they are just as engaged as anyone else.

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