Are you expected to invite people if you attend their wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

No, weddings are not tit for tat. You are under no obligation to invite a couple to your wedding because they invited you to theirs, even less so when you attended as a plus one (which is effectively what occurred when you attended your sister’s friends’ wedding).

Post # 3
1412 posts
Bumble bee

Nope. You don’t need to invite your SISTER’S friends…

Post # 4
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I only had one tit for tat invite, but only because I was NEVER EVER expecting an invitation to theirs a few weeks before ours (we used to be super close but Fiance and his friend went and started new jobs and we haven’t hung out in a year or so). 

Post # 5
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Everyone has a different budget and a different wedding. People having a small wedding are under no obligation to extend invitations to those who were able to afford to invite a larger guestlist.

Post # 6
49 posts

I don’t know what the right answer is, but I avoided this situation by not attending someone’s wedding because I am not planning to invite her to mine =X  We grew kind of distant after I declined…

Post # 7
6231 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

You are under no obligation to reciprocate anything for anyone. If you choose to extend the invitation, that would be generous of you but if you do not, you are not in the wrong.

Post # 8
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

If I’m understanding your post correctly this is your SISTER’S friend and you attended her wedding to help babysit your niece when your brother in law could not attend ….. so technically this couple didn’t formally INVITE YOU to their wedding anyway. It was more like you were there by default.

Since they aren’t YOUR friends …. I don’t see why you WOULD invite them anyway. 

Dont give it a second thought. People can be funny about things like this ……

Post # 9
12227 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

In no case are you obligated. Some weddings are smaller than others. Cutoffs by category can be done differently. Sometimes hosts restrict the number of invitations available. Relationships change. 

Post # 10
20 posts
  • Wedding: May 2017

I got invited to a friends wedding before I got engaged. They had a very long engagement and we ended up getting married before them! Because we had a more intimate wedding I did not feel obligated to invite her and her fiance even though they had invited us to theirs. She wasn’t at all offended either – I think real friends and family just want you to be happy.

Post # 11
954 posts
Busy bee

My friends started getting married when I was 22. I didn’t get married until my 30’s. I can’t even tell you how many weddings of college friends and sorority sisters I went to in my early 20’s – maybe 30+?  Almost none of those people made our guest list because 10 years later we weren’t in touch or as close as we were back in school.  That’s life.  


Post # 12
2527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Nope you’re not expected to invite people who invite you to their wedding, everyone has different budgets and friendship. 


But in this case absolutely not. Technically you were there working. 

Post # 13
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Depends on how long between weddings and size of weddings. We invited a couple to ours and they attended. 

Few months later they got married in a bigger and more extravagant way and didn’t invite us. They are dead to me 😁

But in all seriousness, if they’d declined our invite or it was a year or two later I wouldn’t have been offended. But I really was. 

Post # 14
717 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

My parents seem to think that if they were invited they must return the favour. Hence my ten extra guests last minute. 

This is in my circle. If you’re having a small wedding I wouldn’t expect you to do the same. 

Post # 15
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You are never under any obligation to invite someone to your wedding just because you attended their wedding. Everyone has different budgets, guest list numbers, amount of friends and family they want to include, etc. Sure, sometimes feelings can get hurt…but it is never an etiquette breach to not invite someone to your wedding even if you attended theirs.

In this case you weren’t even invited, you basically attended as your sister’s plus one. 

Summary: Your sister is in the wrong here. You are under no obligation to invite them. 

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