(Closed) Are you expecting gifts from your bridal party?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Expecting gifts from the bridal party?
    Yes- they are still a guest : (47 votes)
    46 %
    No- they have paid enough : (55 votes)
    54 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1498 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I have always given a gift when I was in the bridal party (3 times) at the shower and wedding.

    Post # 4
    Member
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’m sort of expecting gifts from my Bridesmaid or Best Man only because I have not asked them to pay for anything for the wedding. Their dresses, hair, and makeup are all coming out of the wedding budget. That said, they are still shelling out to go on my bachelorette party (Vegas) and a couple of the girls are from out of town so they will have to pay to come in for the wedding. So, if I were in their shoes I would get a wedding gift, but I’m not going to be upset if they don’t

    Post # 5
    Member
    5984 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1999

    @Tswife4ever:  I feel somewhat bad for saying “yes”, but I did expect gifts from a few of my girls in the wedding party.  For the girls that traveled from out of town I did not expect them to give us a gift.  I consider airfare, hotel, the dress, etc. a big enough expense.  However, they were the ones that gave the most gracious gifts (another reason I love them so!).  For the girls that were from St.L, I did expect a gift.  However, I told my Bridesmaid or Best Man that did my hair on my wedding day that she didn’t have to get a gift for us since she was doing me a wonderful favor (and she followed through with that request).   

    Post # 6
    Member
    569 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I don’t think it’s very polite to expect a gift from anyone. I certainly don’t expect a gift from anyone in the bridal party. They’re spending a lot of time and money to be in the wedding. That’s enough for me.

    Post # 7
    Member
    642 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I tend to get smaller gifts or go in on groups gifts when I am in the bridal party. After the dress, hair, bach parties, showers, shoes, shopping trips with lunches, meet ups with dinners, etc etc etc…… I just don’t have a lot to spend on my own individual gift.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1066 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Weird, I always give a MORE expensive gift because I’m in the bridal party!  Does anyone else do that??

    Post # 9
    Member
    1126 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I don’t “expect” gifts in the sense that I’ll be angry if I don’t get them, but I do “expect” them in that I’m pretty sure they’ll give something.  For my two showers, one Bridesmaid or Best Man hosted one and co-bought me a gift with her mom (FMIL), and for the other my Bridesmaid or Best Man who hosted didn’t also give a gift (but gave an engagement gift last year), but my Maid/Matron of Honor who attended did.  I was just happy for all the generosity and love!  For the wedding, I’m sure they’ll all get us something, but I wouldn’t be upset if they didn’t.  Especially my sister/MOH, who I know is on a really tight budget.  But we’re a generous group, and I’m sure I’ll buy them all something in addition to Bridesmaid or Best Man duties – it’s just what we do.

    Post # 10
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I feel like people are answering two different questions:

    1. do YOU expect YOU bridal party to give you gifts?

    and

    2. Have YOU as a Bridesmaid or Best Man given gifts?

    When I was a Maid/Matron of Honor, I went in a small gift off the registry and along with some cash. But I also had minimal expenses because my dress was only $50 and I wore shoes I owned.

    But as the bride, I totally don’t expect them to buy gifts. With shoes, dress/tuxes they’re paying btw 100-200 each and I thnk that’s plenty for young adults.

    Post # 11
    Member
    622 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I normally give a gift when i’m in a wedding, but 2 of my bridesmaids and I are all getting married with in the year and we all agreed to not give gifts since we are going to be in each others weddings. but we all agreed on this and that passing around a check is silly. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    3316 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I don’t know that we “expected” gifts from anyone.  Our attitude was that we invited only people we wanted to celebrate with us, and we didn’t want those people to be staying home out of embarrassment if they couldn’t afford a gift.

    The members of our wedding party did in fact give us gifts.  Then again, we did not make them buy dresses or shoes, get hair or make-up done, give showers or bachelorette parties, or do anything but show up on the day in whatever nice clothes they chose.  Plus, they were both my children.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1126 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @MissShork: I feel like people are also defining the word “expect” differently:

    1.  Would you be upset if your bridal party didn’t get your gifts, i.e. are they obligated to buy you a present in addition to helping and other expenses?

    2.  Do you assume that your particular friends/family you’ve chosen to stand beside you will buy you gifts, i.e. is it common in your social group to bring a gift to a wedding, regardless of your role in it?

    I think people get really bent out of shape about whether people are expected to give gifts, or whether as a bride they’re deserving or due other people’s hard-earned money.  Whereas the way I see it, I expect gifts from all my guests, because I was raised to bring a gift to all such occasions (including birthdays and housewarming parties, etc.) but I wouldn’t be angry/hurt/disappointed/insulted if I didn’t get a gift from any particular person.  Whether I thought they were justified or just being a cheapskate, I don’t think anybody owes me anything just for attending my wedding, and I’m not going to begrudge them for bringing a gift or not, since the reason I invited them was because I wanted their company.

    Post # 14
    Bee
    6473 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

    My girls paid for their dresses – that alone is a gift! If they choose to throw in something small, that’s their choice: it’s what I usually do – or at least, I DID in the ONE wedding I’ve been a bridesmaid in!

    Post # 15
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @Miss OBG: good point in making that disctinction! I don’t expect that they HAVE to give us gifts. But from what they told me, I expect many of them will CHOOSE to give us gifts anyway.

    Post # 16
    Member
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Do I think our wedding party have to give us something? No. We’re having a destination wedding and they’re flying halfway across the country just to celebrate with us.. which I am more than grateful for.

    Do I think they will anyway.. probably. But if they didn’t, I wouldn’t think twice about it. We’ve already asked them not to.

    The topic ‘Are you expecting gifts from your bridal party?’ is closed to new replies.

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