Post # 1
I was wondering if anyone else was getting registry complaints and how you are handling them.
My formal name is Jaclyn, but my nickname is Jacki. No one knows how to spell either one correctly, including my own father I found out a couple years ago. Thanks Mom! LOL
My last name is SUPER common… like Smith.
My registries are under my formal name since that’s what’s on my invitations and of course my Maid/Matron of Honor did Jacki on my shower invites.
I’ve been hearing complaints from people saying:
– Your registry doesn’t work (My Maid/Matron of Honor sent my aunt the registry number and told her it works just fine. Who knows what they were looking for. Probably put in Jaqueline.)
– There is someone with your name(spelled wrong) who got married LAST September, you should warn people! (I’m not even sure how to respond to that… It was a groomsman that told me this and sent me a picture of the other registy he printed out. Ummm Hello that is NOT my hubby to be and it was last year! Plus, etiquette says not to “tell” people where you registered.)
My fiance has a common first name, but pretty uncommon last name, I think. And there were 3 of them at Crate and Barrel!
I don’t see an option to put a nickname AND a formal name on the registry at Bed Bath and Beyond and . I mean I just search by the first few letters of the first name and the last name and put in the state. How hard is this? And the complaints are coming from people I consider pretty smart and well educated.
Have you gotten any complaints? If so, how do you handle them?
Post # 3
I have people complaining that I have done a registry! They think we should just get what we are given… we have been living together for 6 YEARS. I have NO storage space for things we dont need! grr. 3 people have said they will get us sheets without asking what size or colour to get! Let alone the fact I already have 6 pairs of sheets. I dont need any more!
I have just tried explaining we have it so no one wastes their money on things we will have no choice but to get rid of. I dont think they care sadly
Post # 4
No complaints but then again our stuff hasn’t gone out for a shower yet. Also, my name is not very common (well my first name is but not last) and I don’t think my fiance’s last name is very common either. When I search we’re the only ones that come up so I foresee no issues
Post # 5
I just made sure everyone had the registry number, so if they have issues spelling it or finding it in the search they can just type in the specific number. I have a super common name and there’s about 500 other people with the same first & last name if you type it in. My fiance has a super long, complicated polish name with lots of z’s, y’s, & c’s, and no one can type it out apparently.
Post # 6
@pecanpie – I told my Maid/Matron of Honor that I had registry cards printed with our registry number on them. She refused to put them in the invitation because she had printed on the invitations where I was registrered. 🙁
Mind you my Maid/Matron of Honor is my cousin on my dad’s side so she had the same last name as me and has a common first name. Same nickname situation though. I guess since they can spell her name it was better for her?
Mind you everyone in my family knows my fiance by his first name, but not his last.
Post # 7
Our ceremony and reception are less than 3 miles apart, but the ceremony is in DC and the reception is in VA (where we live, literally in between the two). People search for our registry under VA, not DC. Even though it is on the save the dates, wedding website, and reception and it is pretty widely known that Georgetown University is in DC. Even my parents are confused.
Post # 8
@Pollywog – That’s sticky… I’d probably search under VA first too, but I would figure out that I needed to put DC. I think they should maybe come up wth a regional search option for that. That could only get messier if you lived in MD! 🙂
Post # 9
Former Smith, here! Luckily my Mr. has an uncommon last name so mom told anyone who asked to look it up by his name. His brother just got married and has a registry there, too, but their names are different enough and my name is sure different than his wife.
The only comment I got was that the registry was pretty small. I said… ‘it’s a small wedding!’
Post # 10
I haven’t had anybody make a comment about the registry or how it’s set up. Instead, a couple of my friends have said “you didn’t register, did you?”. Ummm,yep, I did. I guess they think that because I’m an “older bride” (I’m 33) that was inappropriate or they shouldn’t have to get me a gift. They’re right that they don’t have to get me anything, but I feel bad that there’s so much judgement.
Post # 11
@Ms. Kitty – I’m 32. I feel your pain. I’ve been living on my own for a LONG time. I actually bought a house a couple years ago. My Fiance moved in approximately a year ago, he was living in a 1 bedroom apartment. Even though he didn’t have too much stuff, we still had to merge our households. Goodwill made out on that deal! So, our registry is mainly stuff for entertaining. I’m sure people are confused about our registry. But, I already own the Henkels knifes and Calphalon pans! I almost felt guilty registering for anything.
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I can’t believe people said that to you! I’m 40, worked PT at crate & barrel for 4 years, and you bet I still registered! When you’re “older,” you’re ready for upgrades (I was SO happy about the new toaster oven at my shower that I hugged it!) Like you said, no one is required to give gifts, but people want to, and a registry makes it so much easier.
Future Mother-In-Law is in the process of downsizing, and she kept picking at my registry-“If you don’t get the one you want, you can have mine.” NO, I don’t want your old, used one that’s the wrong color, I want the one that matches our decor. “I saw one at a store today a lot cheaper on sale.”
Drove me UP the wall. “Is there anything you want that you don’t have listed? I’d be glad to get it for you for shower or wedding?” We told her no, we listed everything we wanted, and she went off registry for the shower, with stuff we’re not going to use.
Like Bears-bub said, I think some people just don’t care. I understand wanting to give something “special,” but if it’s not going to be used and will make it’s way to the donation pile…
Post # 13
So, after reading up on wedding etiquette, I kept hearing over and over again about how you are NOT supposed to put the registry information in the wedding invitations. Instead, I included a card with our website on it, and the website has the info about our registry. Almost immediately after sending the invites out, my mom has been calling me up to complain that I didn’t include the registry info. Apparently, my parents’ older friends don’t have computers and had no idea how to find the registry. Lol, oh well, I still wouldn’t put them in.
Post # 14
@rebwana – My Future Mother-In-Law is doing the same thing. She’s trying to give me this punchbowl. She asked my Fiance about it because she saw one on my registry. He said no, THEN she had the nerve to ask me in front of my parents when I had them all over for dinner so that they could meet!
I’m actually mentally preparing myself for getting that punchbowl at my shower. It’s not a family heirloom, it’s something they got at an auction a few years ago. 🙁
My Fiance and I had to downsize already when we moved in together. While he’s on his bachelor party this weekend I plan on cleaning up the house and getting rid of a bunch of old linens of his.
@Fluffy – Yes, it’s not proper ettiquette to put the registry information in with the invitations. The shower invitations on the other hand, that’s a different story! Hopefully your older relatives, will just ask your mom where you are registered or maybe they will give money!!! Even better! 🙂
Post # 15
No complaints but, I have a very uncommon last name, as in everyone with that name is in some way related to me. I go by a nickname and have never used my full first name. I recently had a second cousin get engaged who has the same unique last name and a first name one letter off from mine. Think Kristine or Kristin. Yeah, I am just hoping that with the same small state people don’t get confused. I know the grooms have different names (duh) but if someone just gives our first name in a store and doesn’t pay attention it could be confusing.
Post # 16
My mom complains that we didn’t put enough on our registry. We bought a house in December and received tons of house warming gifts. We told her we don’t want to add stuff just for the sake of adding STUFF.