(Closed) Are you going to hyphenate?

posted 6 years ago in Names
Post # 3
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m not going to b/c I can’t wait to get rid of my last name.  Anything associating me with my biological father needs to GO!

Post # 4
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I wish I could, but my first name is already hyphenated and I have a middle name, so it would be one too many hyphens and names.

I am just going to legally keep my name and go by whatever people feel like calling me.

Post # 5
2759 posts
Sugar bee

@BoiledPNut: Same here!

My FH’s last name is hyphenated, but I’m only taking his father’s name since I don’t want something SO long (and our children, likely, will also just have the paternal name).

Post # 6
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I have a longer middle name and I’m excited to take his, so nope!

Post # 7
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have a middle name, but I am planning on hyphenating. I dont’ care how many names I have, I dont want to drop my last name, but Fiance isnt comfortable with me not taking his in some form, so I told him I’d hypenate and he agreed that it seemed like the most ‘me’ choice.

Post # 8
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

We were going to hyphenate and do the same for our children, but we have decided to either mash or only use one of our names.


There was a great article in the New York Times a few weeks ago about the Generation of Hyphens–it was a conversation starter for us.

Post # 9
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

This is something I am actually having a problem with right now.

I have a daughter from a previous relationship that has my last name. Now I was thinking about hyphenating mylastname-hislastname. But then I wonder what to do about my daughter’s last name.


Post # 10
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m dropping my middle name and making my current last my new middle. I don’t want to get rid of it, but I don’t want to hyphenate.

Post # 12
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

This is a very personal decision, and every woman has her individual reasons for making her own choice. However, I am a strong advocate of what @MrsConnick: did, as this is exactly what I did. I’m glad to have finally found someone else in the hive who has done this, too! Smile

So many women today are not aware that this is actually the formal, traditional manner in which women have changed their names in the U.S. The vast majority of my friends instead dropped their maiden names and kept their middle names, but I did as Mrs. Prof did and dropped my given middle name and took my maiden name as my legal middle name.  The benefits of this option are SO many:

*  We are able to go by all three of our names professionally (which I do), so that it’s a very smooth transition for people to see that Jane Smith is now Jane Smith Doe

*  We’re able to simply go by our our first and new last names socially if we want to (which I do at church.)

*  We are able to enjoy the social titles of either “Ms.” OR “Mrs.” (Ms. Jane Smith Doe, Ms. Jane Doe, Ms. Doe, Mrs. John Doe or Mrs. Doe.) Each of those is proper and corrrect.  A lot of women don’t realize that, when they keep their maiden names as their last names, or when they hyphenate their last names, they cannot technically be considered a “Mrs.”

*  Our last names will be the same as our husbands and any future children, yet we still are able to keep our maiden names as part our married names (so that we are able to maintain a continuity of our identity.)  It’s pretty clear in the workplace that Jane Smith Doe used to be Jane Smith, but she is now married. When you’re first married, it’s much less easy to tell in a workplace e-mail, for example, that Jane Doe is the same person as Jane Smith used to be.

@Bellagiobride: You MAY be able to take your maiden name as a second middle name, depending on which state in which you reside. (I was originall planning to do this, but, after speaking with the MVA in my state, I found out that they would not allow me to add my maiden name as a second middle name. I also didn’t want to have a four-initial monogram or have two middle initials.) If, by chance, you always go by your middle name and not your first name, as one woman I know did, you may be able to drop your first name and take your middle name as your new first name. That’s what she did. (Example, Mary Carrington Smith goes by Carrie not Mary.  She marries John Jones.  She could then become Carrington Smith Jones.)

Post # 13
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I didn’t hypenatea nd kept my middle name.  I’m not a doctor or published in anything so I didn’t see a need to keep my maiden name.

Post # 14
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

No, as popular as being a Mrs Smith will be (number 1 probably), I still refuse to hypenate, play around with our surnames. His surname is a part of him, and his name doesn’t matter to me.

Post # 15
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’m going to drop my middle name and replace it with my maiden name, too.  Legally, at least.  My name is already one of the longest ones I’ve ever seen, and it would just go beyond ridiculous if I hyphenated it and added FI’s name.

Also, I’m looking forward to finally having a name that people can pronounce and spell.  My dad BEGGED my mom not to take his last name when they married, but she insisted.  Now I finally have the option to have a normal last name, and I’m excited to get rid of this one!

Post # 16
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My last name is already hyphenated (it’s not a married name, just a weird maiden one, lol), so I’m just taking FI’s last name. Besides, our Dirty Delete has his name, so I’d prefer to share it with them both.

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