Post # 1
Every so often, my beloved asks this question of me. Like last night. This is not a backhanded serious proposal that I’m misinterpreting. I’m actually not really sure why he does ask this. (Needs reassurance I’m happy with him/our relationship? I don’t know. He is not anywhere near proposing as far as I can tell.) What I need from you bees are some good responses. Before I was ready to get married (my best guess is he started to say it about 4-6 months into our relationship and we’ll be three years in May), I’d say things such as “You’ll have to ask me to find out.” Which, I realize in retrospect is perhaps not the best thing to say to a guy because they want to be 100% certain you’ll say yes. My girlfriends have already taken me to task on that response so hopefully we can skip right over it to my problem now.
Late summer, I realized I was ready to get married and after much discussion, ended up moving in with him. I started responding “When are you going to ask me?” and “Of course” but those aren’t terribly great responses either. I need you bees to help me with some funny, clever responses. Something that tells him to get his butt in gear. Something so I am not driven nutty every time he asks this question and instead, I can scroll in my head through your witty comments for my selection of the day.
Post # 3
Sure, which day were you thinking?
And this sounds similar to my FI’s “You’re going to have my babies one day, right?” I think he feels a little concerned because I never ever talk about babies…
Post # 4
Do you ever ask him this question out of the blue? Not as a response, but just as a “hey, right back at ya!” How does he respond?
Post # 5
@double0bride: I like that 🙂
@sleepingbeauty88: Nope, haven’t done it but it’s a good thought to see what he says/how he responds. I have said it back to him directly as a response.
Post # 6
@kay01: How about “Are you going to ask someday?” or “Ask, and I’ll let you know.”
Post # 7
my boyfriend says stuff like this all the time. and it’s kind of annoying. he says “you’re gona be my wife one day” or “you’re gona have my child one day” etc… i just want to yell out “make it happen already! quit talking about it ask me! show me that you mean it!” sory i think i’m having a meltdown haha
Post # 8
How about “not if you never ask me!” or “if you don’t ask me soon I sure won’t!” or “YES OMG!!! Is it Facebook official now!?!?!?” and then put on an invisible ring and jump up and down and talk about how beautiful it is.
Oh man, I apologize for the sarcasm in my responses… it’s just so tempting! I would totally crack if I were you.
In all honesty, I think all the responses above are great. There’s really no right response since it sounds like it’s become a special inside “joke.” Maybe you could use the question to start a timeline discussion?
Post # 9
How about a simple, “Yes, I would be proud to be your wife someday”, with a smile and a kiss.
Sounds like your guy is ready for marriage too, and he may be a bit anxious about your response. Or he may want reassurance that you love him and that you think highly enough of him to want to marry him. Guys sometimes take things literally and if they don’t get a “yes” or a “no”, they may be left wondering what exactly you meant.
Post # 10
@LaurenK0105: Lol, that’s exactly my usual style, a healthy dose of sarcasm. I agree, I really should use it as a jumping point for a timeline conversation – to just be direct and say, “Yes, I’d like to. When do you see us getting married?” A friend of mine was under the impression we talk about it frequently because she asks me about it frequently, but really, we likely don’ve have concrete enough conversations or they are cut short because we’re on route to something or in the middle of something. (e.g. In the midst of one kitchen renovation, we talk about our timing for moving out of here and it’s related to when we might have kids – a general future conversation, not specific future.)
@LaChispy: That’s what I’ve been trying after I realized my initial responses were not terribly encouraging. I really need to remember even if I toss in some usual sarcastic reponses, to include some reassuring ones as well (and need to weight it more heavily to reassurance).