Post # 1
Hi ladies, just wondering how you are going about greeting your guests on your big day. We are having a church ceremony and then a cocktail hour and reception at our venue. Where my family and FI’s family is from (the tri-state area, NYC, etc.) we are used to seeing the bride & groom for the first time (at the reception) when they make their big entrance. I didn’t even know what a recieving line was until someone explained it to me because I’d never seen it. The last 2 or 3 weddings we’ve been to, the bride & groom came out during the cocktail hour towards the end and took some time to eat and socialize.
So what FI and I are planning to do is to finish taking pictures towards the beginning of cocktail hour, take some time to sit and refresh/relax in the hospitality suite, then go out to the cocktail hour to see our guests more towards the end of cocktail hour.
Today, after telling my SIL about the timeline of the wedding day, she began to tell me how terrible this plan was. She criticized me because we are not going to spend the whole cocktail hour out with everyone else, telling me that the wedding day is not about us, it’s about our guests, and we need to make sure that we make sure we spend the cocktail hour making sure that our guests have everything they need. I told her we already planned times during the reception to get around to talk to every table, and she said “Well yeah, you need to do that to.”
SIL is from the mid west so I am not sure if this is a cultural norm for weddings where she is from. But it is definitely not the norm for me.
Thoughts? I feel like everything I plan gets criticized. Everyone’s got their own opinion, but sometimes it is just counter productive.
Post # 3
Most likely not. This is the time where we’ll sneak away to do pictures and get ready for the reception. =)
Post # 4
Tell her to shove off =) We are for sure going to the entire cocktail hour, but thats just something we want to do. Were in new york, and your are right its not very typical. Most of the weddings we have been to the couple has not been to cocktail hour at all, and theres only a handfull where the couple shows up at the end.
Just do whatever you want to do and dont let other peoples comments bug you.
Post # 5
Has your SIL ever been married? Or been to a wedding?
I’ve never ever been to a single wedding where the bride and groom made an appearance before the reception.
FI and I are using our entire cocktail hour to finish taking our bride and groom portraits, and then perhaps take a few minutes to chill out and eat some of the hors d’oeuvres before we head into the reception.
Actually, to me, the whole *point* of the cocktail hour is to give my guests something to do/snack on while I’m soaking in the fact that I’m MARRIED and taking photos lol.
Post # 6
That is definitely NOT normal even her in the midwest. Most cocktail hours are used for pictures, at least every wedding I’ve been to that has had one was like that. I don’t think she knows what she’s talking about.
Post # 7
On Long Island it’s VERY common to be at your cocktail hour so we will definitely be enjoying it along with our guests. We’ll be taking pictures in between the church and start of cocktail hour and we’re paying for our wedding so I want to enjoy the celebration as much as I can.
Post # 8
I always thought the cocktail hour was to keep the guests busy while the wedding party was off taking pictures.
Post # 9
Nope, logistically it doesn’t work for us. We’ll be using part of cocktail hour to take pictures and part to drive to the reception venue. By the time we get there it’ll be 7:00 and our reception ends at 10:30 so we want to get everything started as soon as we get there
Post # 10
Well, she’s being silly.
We planned to go to half of our cocktail hour, but between starting the ceremony late, photos running over, and trouble with my bustle, we didn’t get to. Wish we got to a few minutes of it, though!!
Post # 11
Cocktail hour is always my favorite part of weddings, so I convinced FI that we have to make at least some of it. Most likely we’ll come in for the last 20 minutes or so.
I don’t think your FSIL is right necessarily. At most weddings I’ve been to, the bride and groom either don’t come to cocktail hour at all (and are introduced for the first time at the reception) or are there for only a short while and definitely don’t get to talk to each and every guest.
Post # 12
Your SIL hasn’t been to many weddings! In Jewish weddings you never do a receiving line. The reason is because there’s a tradition called “Yihud” and my FI and I will be observing it.
For Yihud after the ceremony the Bride and Groom leave first and hide away for 10-15 minutes or so. For us it’s just going to be a quiet time to relish the fact that we are MARRIED and have a few moments to appreciate each other.
Basically, we’re going to make out. 🙂
Then we’ll finish our photos while our guests enjoy cocktail hour, and see everyone at the reception.
It sounds like you planned to do a Yihud without realizing it! We will be greeting our guests at each table during the reception. You can even explain in your program, if you have one, that you’ll be taking a little breather instead of a receiving line.
And, despite what your SIL says, your wedding is about YOU!!
Post # 13
Nope, we want to make sure we get plenty of photos in….
Post # 14
We did a first look so that we could attend our cocktail hour. We spent a lot of money on those hor d’oeurves and we were going to enjoy them. It’s not necessarily the norm for the B&G to be there but we really loved having that extra 45 minutes or so with our guests (we spent a few minutes after the ceremony taking additional pictures but it was quick).
Post # 15
We did a first look, and I originally had planned for almost all of our pics to be taken prior to the ceremony so that we COULD attend our hors d’oeuvres hour. However, due to very heavy, holiday-weekend traffic/roadway accidents along our route and the fact that our venue was 1.5 hours from my salon, etc., we didn’t get to do a lot of the pics until after the ceremony.
Long story short, we not only missed the entire hors d’oeuvres hour but also much of our reception. I really wish we had been able to at least attend part of our hors d’oeuvres hour and a lot more of our reception.
Post # 16
Sister in law needs to mind her business and at her wedding she could make those choices.
I been to a lot of weddings and the majority of the time the bride and groom with good reason don’t come to cocktail hour.