(Closed) Are you good with kids?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

@LadyBlackheart:  OMG I’m like that too.  I really dislike kids once they start to talk until they are like, 16 years old.

Darling Husband and I are 90% certain we will not have kids.  We were TTC for awhile…then we realized, we don’t even like kids, and why the heck were trying to have one?!?!  LOL.

Post # 4
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am the EXACT same way. I’m sooooo awkward around kids and don’t like babies, which has always made me nervous to have my own. But someone once put it to me so perfectly: “kids are like farts… you can stand your own.” LOL!!!

 

Post # 5
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@LadyBlackheart:  I would take a tubal ligation *right now* if I could find a doctor to perform one. 

I have coached cheerleading, pageants, etc but somehow have never been behind the idea of having kids.  Thank GOD Boyfriend or Best Friend is on the same page.

 

I remember when a sorority sister had a baby and we went to see them.  We were all sitting around and everyone is fighting to hold this baby, when the mom says “Badabing, would you like to hold him?” And in typical ME fashion, the truth came right out before I could filter it “I’m good, I can see it from here.” Oops.

 

…plenty of folks we know are having them at an alarming rate, though, so I’m sure as time goes by I’ll have to learn to interact with them more.

Post # 6
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@LadyBlackheart:  I have nothing to say to other peoples’ kids either. In fact, I have been in that same situation with co-worker bringing her child around. And trust me, you did better than I do. I usually just manage a ‘hi’ to the child before directing the rest of my comments to the co-worker/mom. I am MUCH more comfortable and good with kids that are somehow related to me eg. my nieces. It’s just other peoples’ kids that I have nothing to say to. 

 

 

 

As far as me having kids…I don’t know where I stand on that. I’m 33 and up to about 25, I really wanted kids. And then I started not wanting them and/or feeling undecided. I always thought that I might sway back towards wanting them if the guy I eventually meet and marry is super gung ho about kids. And what do you know…the guy I met and am about to marry is just as undecided as I am!! So we STILL don’t know if we want them or not. We just don’t feel that anything is ‘missing’ in our lives really…neither of us feels that burning desire to have a child. Maybe things would have been different if he and I met when we were younger. But we met when I was 30 and he was almost 33. So we feel ‘rushed’ into having to make a decision.

 

 

 

I’m not a very patient person and even with my nieces, after a few hours, I’m happy to see them go home. I can’t imagine that FULL-ON presence of children 24/7. My mom says it’ll be different when it’s my own…but what if it isn’t?! You can’t just return them lol. I’m also way more into kids up to about the age of 5. I kind of can’t stand tweens and teens though. Again, my mom says it’ll be different when it’s my own. But she’ll say anything to get me to have a child.

 

 

 

Post # 7
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@LadyBlackheart:  I am always uncomfortable when people bring their kids to work but I generally think I am good with them outside of work.  As for having the 6 month old for two weeks; that is not your fault because a baby that age is bonded to their mom and does not understand being left with someone else for two weeks.  I wouldn’t think of that as being how you will act with your child at all because it’s a totally different situation.

It is different with your own kids.  I generally dislike other people’s children but with my stepdaughter I thought she was beautiful and smart and well-mannered and I really enjoyed being around her.  I imagine I will be even more enamored with my own biological child.

Post # 8
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I love other people’s small children. They are my favorite kind of kids. I get to play with them and then hand them back when I’m done.

FWIW…. my brother never held babies. Ever. They would have to be at least 6 months old before he would touch them. And dealing with toddlers was totally out of his realm. He is now the Dad of a 3 year old, and all of those issues that he had with other people’s children are a total non-issue with his own son. Becoming a parent has transformed him in an amazing, wonderful way. He is a natural. A pushover, but a natural.

Post # 9
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Honestly I don’t much care for other peoples kids either, and I’m a mom! Don’t worry about it!

my son is 7, and I’ve never felt akward with him…we have a close relationship and I love him to bits. I know exactly what to talk to him about and I know how to entertain him and play with him and love him. But other peoples kids? Forget it…I have no idea.

I love my nieces and nephews, but in small doses, for short periods of time. I’ve never gotten the whole fawning over babies thing. Babies are cute, that’s about it.. It’s not a joyous special occasion when I hold your child. I may love that child, but really he’s just sleeping or crying..take it away from me!! I know that sounds awful but it’s so true. 

Also, what was your co-workers mother expecting people to say to her daughter? My son would be mortified if I did thaT to him. He’s shy too, and he’d be so embaressed. 

Post # 10
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

Lol I’m the same way, just don’t know what to say , but my fi on the other hand is great with kids! He’s even become bffs with my little brothers ha ha. Same goesfor babies, my exs sister had a baby/toddlerand he would cry and i would just hide. But i might want a kid of my own, I’m hoping over time I get more confident and know what to say or dowhen he/she cries.

Post # 11
Member
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

Yes, I’m actually better with kids than most adults.

You didn’t do anything wrong. Kid introductions are generally awkward. Two little kids meet and are expected to introduce themselves, and it’s often “…Hi…” “…Hi…” (an extroverted little kid might interject and say “come build this lego castle with me!!” immediately, but most of the time kids wait for something external to bond over.)

They just don’t DO small talk. Which is part of why I love ’em.

Post # 12
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I love kids.  The thing is, they don’t mind if you are awkward.  They are generally very accepting.  They go with the flow and aren’t judging you.  Kids love to joke, so you can always say something that will get them going and open them up. 

Post # 13
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

It is totally different with your own.

While I *love* babies (soooo bad), I really don’t like kids. In fact, I usually *hate* other people’s children, although it may be more related to their parenting… I don’t like talking to them, playing with them, being around them; I find them irritating. Sometimes I even find my own child irritating. But I’ve raised my child to be a pretty great little human being, so I find her pretty tolerable 99% of the time, and we very much want another kid.

Your awkward exchange is pretty funny – most kids are really awkward being introduced to their parents’ friends/colleagues.

Post # 14
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

Oooh children terrify me XD When they’re older I just don’t know what to say and want to hide (helping out mother doing school stuff). But then when they’re babies I’m convinced they’re breaking when I hold them.

 

It probably would be different with your own child, partly because you grow up with them (I’m certainly hoping that I’ll grow out of my baby crushing fear).

Post # 15
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I feel you here.

I actually quite like children and over the past few years was surprised to learn that I enjoy working with babies and toddlers as well as elementary school aged kids and teens. But I feel like I’m super awkward around kids. Like you, I never seem to know what to say.

I’ll ask them about school, what they did over the weekend, a book they have recently read, etc. but I’m never sure if I’m coming off as patronizing or out-of-touch.

Case in Point: I tried to get a conversation started with a middle schooler the other day and the first question I asked them was “How was school today?” I mean, really? That’s the best I could come up with?

My hope is that if we continue to interact with children we will get better at it. Honestly, sometimes when I’m at “grown-up” parties I would rather hang out with the adults’ kids rather than the adults b/c successful adults can be scary! 🙂

Post # 16
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t really think so.  I don’t enjoy playing with kids or playing kiddie games.  However, I am a teacher and have been told I’m the “best teacher ever.” lol… (I always tell them they’ll have a new favorite every year.)

I think I am good with talking to kids, which is why I went to grad school to change from being a teacher to a guidance counselor. 

My husband’s neices & nephews love me though, so I guess that’s a good thing.

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