Are you having a big or small wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Ours was small in comparison to the usual numbers. We had 180. We had to cut so many people and tell them no. I told many, many people it was a small wedding and I’m sorry I couldn’t invite their 5 kids to come as well. It was a pain. 

Post # 3
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2018

We’re inviting 60. My family is really small and I don’t have a lot of close friends. My fiancé has a big family. Most  Do the list is his side. I think when it comes to friend, I invite the people I talk to I on a daily basis. I have high school friends and college friends I could invite but I’m not because I don’t talk to them. For me my wedding is going to be intimate and personal and I only want to celebrate with people that feel like family to me. 

Post # 4
Member
709 posts
Busy bee

My wedding is going to be very small. Around 35 people. I realized early on that I either had to have a very small wedding with just family and very close friends or a big wedding that included everybody. If I tried to have a medium sized wedding it was going to result in hurt feelings. When people inquire about an invitation I tell them that the wedding is very small and we’re already at venue capacity (not a lie, only 37 guests can come). 

Post # 6
Member
29 posts
Newbee

We originally had about 50-60 people on our guest list and wanted to do a civil ceremony at city hall followed by a small dinner – no dancing, cake, etc. It was what my fiance wanted for financial reasons and while I wasn’t opposed to it, I didn’t love it – but again, due to financial reasons, ultimately agreed. He saw how sad I was not to have the one thing I wanted more than anything – to walk down an aisle. His mom also was horrified at the idea of us having a city hall/restaurant wedding and cutting out so many people (he has a large family). With a lot of deliberation and some tears, we’re now having a 150 person backyard wedding. It is quite a bit larger, obviously but I am so happy we are going this route. You only get married once (hopefully!) and I didn’t want to exclude anyone important to us. I feel that 150 is “medium sized” 🙂 You know that Great Gatsby quote? – “And I like large parties. They’re so intimate. At small parties there isn’t any privacy.” That’s kinda how I feel haha.

Post # 7
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

We invited quite a few, probably around 150 and ended up with 65 (most of our guests on DH’s side lived overseas). 65 was really perfect for us, not too big to be expensive or impersonal or too small. 

Post # 8
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m struggling with this too… I’m leaning small, while Fiance is leaning mediumish. I agree with mikaylaauel that small is easier than medium. We haven’t finalized our guest list yet, but everyone has been pretty understanding when we’ve said “we’re keeping it really small and intimate.”

I also realized that my own stress will be way less. When I host I stress over everyone having a good time and that will lessen if there are fewer people and the ones who are there are close.

Post # 9
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

My first wedding was 150 people. I’m looking to keep this wedding even smaller. We are inviting 75 people. The venue I love has a max capacity of 50 ….. if we can cut the guest list a little more I can have my dream venue 😍

Post # 10
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

We are going smaller than what is typical for our area and inviting around 80, and expecting 60-65. Typical wedding size for our area is 150-200. We chose to go smaller for two reasons, 1) budget and 2) to keep it un-fussy.

Post # 11
Member
4083 posts
Honey bee

happybridetobe1988 :  Our civil wedding in the US will have about 50 guests. Our church wedding in Europe will have about 125.

Post # 12
Member
709 posts
Busy bee

happybridetobe1988 :  it sure is! I’m pretty much planning this wedding on my own, and it’s my first (and hopefully only) wedding, so half the time I have no idea what I’m doing. I orginally wanted a medium sized wedding but didn’t feel it was worth the hurt feelings I would have to deal with. However, I am a bit of a pushover. I see nothing wrong if you decide to have a medium sized wedding, but just mentally prepare yourself for a little backlash (not that you deserve it, you deserve to plan the exact wedding you want!) 

Post # 13
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

20-30 people. I wanted to elope, he didn’t. Neither likes big crowds and being the center of attention, so here we are!

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