(Closed) Are you having a Bouquet/Garter Toss?

posted 9 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

A lot of brides aren’t doing this these days! Personally, I find both the traditions to be degrading and somewhat insulting, and won’t be doing them no matter what ANYone says (FI agrees, fortunately).

As for alternatives, I’ve heard some people mention doing an Anniversary Dance, which has to do with finding out who in the crowd has been married longest. I’ve also heard of giving a single blossom to each married woman, although I feel that is just as insulting, since it still draws a distinction between married and single, implying that one is better than the other.

You don’t HAVE to replace this with something; you can just cut it out. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

I’m definitely doing the bouquet toss and garter toss! We have enough single friends and relatives that no one will feel singled out. I think it is a cute tradition and I don’t think it is degrading/insulting at all.

Like daydream, I’ve heard of/seen the Anniversary dance, which is cute, but I don’t think you need to use it as a replacement for the toss. If you don’t want to do it, just cut it out.

I’ve also heard of having your toss bouquet tied into multiple little bouquets that separate when you throw it. Each has a wish, saying, or fortune tied to it. So more than one person gets the flowers and intead of it meaning they are next to get married, there is just a cute saying tied to it.

Post # 6
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We didn’t do a bouquet or garter toss and no one missed it.  No need to replace them.  I think sometimes wedding days feel too “scheduled” so I think it is okay to take out some of the traditional events.

Post # 7
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We’re not doing the bouquet/garter toss because I hate being forced to be a part of them as a guest.  We will also have very few truly single guests, because we waited a while compared to the rest of our friends.  I’m also not replacing it with anything.  I had thought about doing the anniversary dance thing, but of the three couples that have been married super long (over 50 years) two of the husbands recently passed away. . .so it would be more sad that celebratory.  I really don’t think anyone will notice.  My mom’s disappointed, but she’ll get over it. 

Post # 8
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I wouldn’t worry too much about catering to everyone, since that’s nearly impossible. That being said, we’re having two sets of bouquet/garter toss; one for those 17 and under and one for those over. We’ll be throwing candy and toys to the little ones from Oriental Trading Company.

I was just doing a bit of research into the practice, and it looks like it was started back in 14th century France when guests would tear at the bride’s clothing trying to get a piece since it was considered lucky. Brides got pretty sick of it, and so started throwing pieces of their ensemble to appease the crowd (I find this both frightening and HILARIOUS!). The people that caught said articles were said to be very lucky throughout the next year, and somehow that morphed into “you’ll be the next to get married”, probably somewhere in England.

Anyhoo, one option listed is to individually give each female guest (or both male and female, who knows?) a flower from your bouquet. You have the chance to go up to them and personally connect (something you could do during your rounds). Another is to include all female members in the bouquet toss regardless of their relationship status. Personally, I like the former the most 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you don’t want to, then don’t.  I’m not a fan either, but I know a lot of brides love them, so I would never dismiss them as tacky or silly.  Just not my style.

Post # 12
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Depending on the flowers, I would say that’s nromal.  mine is about $375 too.

Post # 14
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We had one at our wedding and Im glad we did becuase it was HILARIOUS. We did a non traditional switcharoo. I threw the toss bouquet (make sure you get one so you dont ruin yours). My H through the garter. The two perfect people caught it ironically, his sister and her bf (who will be married one day soon). Then we put a Blindfold on the bf and spun him around and replaced his beautiful sister with a big hairy man. It was so funny cause the bf was so confused. So if your not into the whole traditional way and still want one. Talk to your DJ about this!

 

Post # 15
Member
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I’m definitely not having a bouquet or garter toss.

Post # 16
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t know where you live or how big your bouquet will be, but I think $375 is really expensive. Did you get quotes from multiple florists?

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