(Closed) Are you having your fiance’s sister(s) be a bridesmaid even if you’re not close?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
Member
1557 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

FI’s younger sister (she turns 17 a few weeks after our wedding) is one of my bridesmaids. I’m honestly not close to her, but it really has nothing to do with her. 

She’s just younger, and lives with FI’s dad and step-mom, and we don’t see her very often.

I was sort of hoping that having her in the wedding would help us get closer, but no such luck. Her parents have driven her to all the appointments and stuff, so she’s had no opportunity to just be herself around me. 

I’m hoping that as she gets older and goes to college I might have a better opportunity to get close to her, especially since she can’t wait to be an Auntie! 

Post # 33
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Like tinylittlebird, I’m including my Future Sister-In-Law even though she’s only 16.  We aren’t close but it’s nothing to with her as an individual.  It’s just that my fiance and I live in Chicago while his family, sister included, live down in St. Louis so we only see them a couple times a year.

I’m hoping it’ll give us a chance to get closer and it has given us one more thing to talk about when I do see her so I think it was a good idea.  Even if the distance in age and location keep us from ever being incredibly close, I wanted to include her as a way of showing that I do care and want her to be a part of my life moving forward.

Post # 34
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I didn’t. It caused a lot of headaches and drama, but at the end of the day, those standing up for you should be people who you feel comfortable with. My now-SIL proved that we made the right decision in her actions that followed finding out that we were not having her in the wedding.

Post # 35
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am having my FI’s only girl cousin (who he’s really close to) as one of my bridesmaids, even if we’ve only hung out a few times.  It means a lot to Fiance and his family, because she has never been asked by her brother or cousins to be part of the wedding party.  She welcomed me with open arms when I first met his family, and she’s told my Fiance that she’d like us to be close.  We get along really well, so I suggested to my Fiance that we should include her.  Fiance also asked my male best friend to be one of his groomsmen, so it only seems fair. 🙂

Post # 36
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I wont be having my FI’s sister in my bridal party. She isn’t a very nice person when we are around so I don’t feel comfortable with her in the bridal party. She wont be on his side either. I know she is going to throw a fit and cause a bunch of drama over this but oh well I want my guy friends to be there on my side more.

Along the same line would you want your Fiance to have your brother on his side if they weren’t super close. My brother wont be on his side or mine either.

Post # 37
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think you should – it’s just good courtesy.  A welcome gesture to your new family.  DH had my brothers in the wedding party.  They would have been really hurt if they weren’t asked. 

Post # 38
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I did. Hubs’ sister is 18 and she hadn’t had a lot of wedding experience, so she wasn’t particularly enthuastic or helpful, but she’s really pleasant and did what I asked of her. Plus it was worth it for the family pics we got to take between us, her, and my sibs (also in the wedding party)!

Post # 39
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

Nope! if i did that then i wouldnt have had any of the people who have been there with me through everything by my side. i’m giving them a little gift, but to me it was important to have the people who have supported me and mean the most to me by my side. i’m not about gestures though, if i was this whole wedding would be about trying to make everyone else happy and not about Fiance and myself.

Post # 40
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

NO!

We asked her to read a poem. a.) she’s a drama lama. b.) I refused to do anything simply becaue it was ‘expected’ of me. I like her, but we are not that close.

Post # 41
Member
4544 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I did, and it caused a TON of drama! She didn’t know any of my friends and wouldn’t come to ANYTHING without her mother there (and yes she’s 29 years old!). She was constantly upset about choices that I made and felt like she wasn’t involved enough, simply because I wasn’t one of those brides who felt the need to update everyone in the wedding party anytime we figured out something or made a small decision. I know it was important to DH and Mother-In-Law, but honestly, I think it made SIL’s and my relationship worse. She didn’t say a single word to me at our rehearsal dinner (members of my family and my friends were asking each other if she was upset about something because she didn’t talk to any of them either) and said as little as possible to me at the wedding. I was glad DH and Mother-In-Law were happy but felt pushed into something that wasn’t necessarily a good choice for my particular situation.

Post # 42
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

My sister in law isn’t  bm. She would be helpful I know that, and we are the same age even graduated the same year, but I have 2 bm’s and 2 MOH’s. He has 1 Best Man and 1 Groomsman. I talked to her about it though before hand and she’s fine with not being a bm. We might actually ask her to stand up with him and have her pick out one of the dresses I let my bm’s choose from. They are all wearing different ones any how.

Post # 44
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am, and it’s okay. We are close at all, and she isn’t the type of person I would be friends with (she’s nice, but kinda a doormat). It was important to Fiance, so I couldn’t really say no.

Post # 45
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I am having my FI’s sister. As we are from different countries, I have only met her once and have not really spent much time with her except for one or two outings whilst visiting. But we in contact on Facebook on a regular basis and I like her a lot. We will only be seeing each other again when she comes over for the wedding.

Post # 46
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yes! It has actually brought us closer, but i appreciate it doesn’t always go that way for others.

The topic ‘Are you having your fiance’s sister(s) be a bridesmaid even if you’re not close?’ is closed to new replies.

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