Post # 32
FI’s younger sister (she turns 17 a few weeks after our wedding) is one of my bridesmaids. I’m honestly not close to her, but it really has nothing to do with her.
She’s just younger, and lives with FI’s dad and step-mom, and we don’t see her very often.
I was sort of hoping that having her in the wedding would help us get closer, but no such luck. Her parents have driven her to all the appointments and stuff, so she’s had no opportunity to just be herself around me.
I’m hoping that as she gets older and goes to college I might have a better opportunity to get close to her, especially since she can’t wait to be an Auntie!
Post # 33
Like tinylittlebird, I’m including my Future Sister-In-Law even though she’s only 16. We aren’t close but it’s nothing to with her as an individual. It’s just that my fiance and I live in Chicago while his family, sister included, live down in St. Louis so we only see them a couple times a year.
I’m hoping it’ll give us a chance to get closer and it has given us one more thing to talk about when I do see her so I think it was a good idea. Even if the distance in age and location keep us from ever being incredibly close, I wanted to include her as a way of showing that I do care and want her to be a part of my life moving forward.
Post # 34
I didn’t. It caused a lot of headaches and drama, but at the end of the day, those standing up for you should be people who you feel comfortable with. My now-SIL proved that we made the right decision in her actions that followed finding out that we were not having her in the wedding.
Post # 35
I am having my FI’s only girl cousin (who he’s really close to) as one of my bridesmaids, even if we’ve only hung out a few times. It means a lot to Fiance and his family, because she has never been asked by her brother or cousins to be part of the wedding party. She welcomed me with open arms when I first met his family, and she’s told my Fiance that she’d like us to be close. We get along really well, so I suggested to my Fiance that we should include her. Fiance also asked my male best friend to be one of his groomsmen, so it only seems fair. 🙂
Post # 36
I wont be having my FI’s sister in my bridal party. She isn’t a very nice person when we are around so I don’t feel comfortable with her in the bridal party. She wont be on his side either. I know she is going to throw a fit and cause a bunch of drama over this but oh well I want my guy friends to be there on my side more.
Along the same line would you want your Fiance to have your brother on his side if they weren’t super close. My brother wont be on his side or mine either.
Post # 37
I think you should – it’s just good courtesy. A welcome gesture to your new family. DH had my brothers in the wedding party. They would have been really hurt if they weren’t asked.
Post # 38
I did. Hubs’ sister is 18 and she hadn’t had a lot of wedding experience, so she wasn’t particularly enthuastic or helpful, but she’s really pleasant and did what I asked of her. Plus it was worth it for the family pics we got to take between us, her, and my sibs (also in the wedding party)!
Post # 39
Nope! if i did that then i wouldnt have had any of the people who have been there with me through everything by my side. i’m giving them a little gift, but to me it was important to have the people who have supported me and mean the most to me by my side. i’m not about gestures though, if i was this whole wedding would be about trying to make everyone else happy and not about Fiance and myself.
Post # 40
We asked her to read a poem. a.) she’s a drama lama. b.) I refused to do anything simply becaue it was ‘expected’ of me. I like her, but we are not that close.
Post # 41
I did, and it caused a TON of drama! She didn’t know any of my friends and wouldn’t come to ANYTHING without her mother there (and yes she’s 29 years old!). She was constantly upset about choices that I made and felt like she wasn’t involved enough, simply because I wasn’t one of those brides who felt the need to update everyone in the wedding party anytime we figured out something or made a small decision. I know it was important to DH and Mother-In-Law, but honestly, I think it made SIL’s and my relationship worse. She didn’t say a single word to me at our rehearsal dinner (members of my family and my friends were asking each other if she was upset about something because she didn’t talk to any of them either) and said as little as possible to me at the wedding. I was glad DH and Mother-In-Law were happy but felt pushed into something that wasn’t necessarily a good choice for my particular situation.
Post # 42
My sister in law isn’t bm. She would be helpful I know that, and we are the same age even graduated the same year, but I have 2 bm’s and 2 MOH’s. He has 1 Best Man and 1 Groomsman. I talked to her about it though before hand and she’s fine with not being a bm. We might actually ask her to stand up with him and have her pick out one of the dresses I let my bm’s choose from. They are all wearing different ones any how.
Post # 43
wow!!! Sounds juuuust like my fiance’s sister! Although she has been outright nasty, this is how she has been acting aside from that. She’s also 29 and doesn’t go anywhere without her mother! That part made me laugh because it is so similar. She keeps saying she isn’t involved enough too… even though she was involved and pulled a nasty move that just showed my entire family (extended relatives and all) that she only wants to try and control this wedding. She won’t, but she is sort of “retaliating” by saying not nice things. Now she’s to be at an arm’s length… but I wonder how the rehearsal and the wedding will be? I know I’m having a shower soon so I suppose I’ll see the tone soon enough.
It’s nice to hear so many people like their FSIL’s and SIL’s… I wish I did… I knew this wasn’t going to be easy with her, even when I asked her to be one she was fully expecting to be one… I thought it was the right thing and nice thing… maybe it is for most people!
Post # 44
I am, and it’s okay. We are close at all, and she isn’t the type of person I would be friends with (she’s nice, but kinda a doormat). It was important to Fiance, so I couldn’t really say no.
Post # 45
I am having my FI’s sister. As we are from different countries, I have only met her once and have not really spent much time with her except for one or two outings whilst visiting. But we in contact on Facebook on a regular basis and I like her a lot. We will only be seeing each other again when she comes over for the wedding.
Post # 46
Yes! It has actually brought us closer, but i appreciate it doesn’t always go that way for others.