(Closed) Are you having your Mom in the delivery room?

posted 10 years ago in Babies
Post # 32
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

My mom’s not local so I’ve gotten used to the idea that she won’t be in the room. Part of me is glad because I think it will be so special being just me and DH; however, another part of me KNOWS I will actually wish my mom was there. She’s coming to town a week after my due date so I guess if I’m late she could be. Bottom line, I feel like she’d be really comforting, while DH is likely going to be a nervous wreck. Like a pp said, I am more assertive in unfamiliar/social settings so I’m a bit nervous about him stepping in to intervene if need be.

Also, you couldn’t pay me enough to have Mother-In-Law in the room, and I am closish to her too, but still- it seems way too private to expand to anyone besides DH or my mom. I’d have my dad before I had any in-laws! 

Post # 33
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t want anyone in my delivery room, when I have children. And I don’t especially want to be in anyone else’s delivery room when they give birth either… eh.

Post # 34
Member
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I had DH and my stepmom in the room. My step mom has been around for the last 4 years, but I’m much closer to her than my mom or my Mother-In-Law. Shes a nurse too, so I wanted that reassurance that I wouldn’t get pushed into medical procedures that I didn’t want. Plus DH isn’t good in hospitals. My Mother-In-Law was a resounding hell no though, despite her best efforts. Love her but she stresses me out on a good day. 

Post # 35
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Umm, that is a big old NEGATIVE.  I am extremely close to my mom but there is no way I want anyone other than DH (and medical personnel of course) in the room when I’m giving birth.   Even my mom has said that she doesn’t want to be there when the baby is born as she thinks that is something that should be shared between a mother and father only.  In mom’s own words “Childbirth is not a spectator sport”.  Hence, no guilt about not asking mom (or Mother-In-Law, whom I also love dearly) to be present! 

Post # 36
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I had… DH, my sister, my mom…and my dad. I needed my mom for calmly talking me through it, I needed my sister for mental support, I needed both DH’s hands and my dads hands to squeeze during contractions but then when it came time to push, my parents went in the sitting area of the delivery room and didn’t watch until baby was born. Once in awhile my mom would come over to wipe my face or give me a pep talk but without them…I don’t know what I would have done. I think I would have been way more scared and nervous.

DH was too nervous to really support me other than physically be there for me to hold on to and he was comforting in some ways. He’s learned and he’s got this now – it will just be him and I in there this time 🙂

 

Post # 37
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

As of right now the plan is for DH, mom, my sister, and our doula to be in the room. We are checking wuth the hospital to see how many people will be allowed in the room–if it’s only 2 people, it will be DH and our doula.

But I’d like my mom there…she’s the person I always call when I’m sick, I know I’m going to want my mommy.

Post # 38
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My mom was there, at first I didn’t want her to be but it was the best thing of my life fihad one leg nurse had the other and mom was there with water and a cold towel for my forehead! I loved my super team! Plus doesn’t everyone love when moms there to take care of them only she knows what her baby really wants! 

Post # 39
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

No way!  I have made it very clear to all that no one will be at the hospital until we give the “all clear” call let alone in the delivery room.

Post # 40
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m guessing I’ll have my SO, Mom, Mother in Law and maybe Sister in Law. SIL is a nurse and has had a couple kids, so I think she would be a great advocate. Mother-In-Law has a calm presence that my mom totally lacks, but I think my mom would also be my distraction and comic relief. 

Post # 41
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d like to have my best friend in the delivery room, since my mom won’t, but Fiance said no. they have a very explosive and angry relationship. They pretty much only deal with each other for my sake.

Post # 42
Member
5879 posts
Bee Keeper

We aren’t TTC yet. Sadly, my mom is deceased but I would love for my Future Mother-In-Law to be there along with my BFF, her hubby (standing outside, of course) and possibly two other people. We are just close and communal like that. When it was my BFF having her first the delivery room was packed with 4-5 of us. It was a blast. 

Post # 43
Member
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Not pregnant…I would just want my Fiance. My mom raised her children (me, my bro, & sis) that sex is unnatural and that it doesn’t happen. She had my sis when she was 17 (during the 70’s from a Roman Catholic family…VERY frowned upon), so she is very conservative and does not speak about sex whatsoever. Plus she thinks her children are still teenagers when we are all adults. I just can’t picture my mother in the room staring at my vagina as a baby comes out…that too me is uncomfortable. It sounds strange, but I’d actually rather my Future Mother-In-Law

Post # 44
Member
5165 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I dont want my mom in the room. I love my mom and am close to her but I just dont see why she needs to be there.

Post # 45
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m not pregnant yet, but I totally plan on having my mom in the delivery room with Dh & I. Plus, she’s a labor & delivery nurse so she will be very helpful. Hopefully she’ll be delivering her grandchild Wink

Post # 46
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Not pregnant yet, and I won’t know for sure what I want until we’re at that point. I don’t really know if I want my mother in there. At least not when I’m pushing. Partly for her comfort–she’s very reserved, and partly for mine–she wasn’t part of my life at all until I was an adult. She lives across the country, and we talk on the phone/email/text a lot, but we don’t spend much physical time together, so it might be weird for both of us. 

I would like my SIL there…she’s been my bff for over a decade. She’s more like a sister to me than my stepbrother’s (soon to be ex) wife. And my other SIL (DH’s brother’s wife)…she’s a nurse, and I think she would keep me at ease. I would be unopposed to my Mother-In-Law being in the room–I think of her and my Father-In-Law as my bonus parents. I don’t think I’d be opposed if she wanted to be there. 

But when the time comes, I might very well only want DH with me. We’ll see. 

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