(Closed) Are you inviting anyone to your showers that aren't invited to wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@regit45:  Pretty sure etiquette says no, you shouldn’t invite anyone to any of the pre-parties (e-party, showers, bachelorette etc..) that isn’t invited to the actual wedding.


Post # 4
6530 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@regit45:  Proper etiquette is not to invite anyone thats NOT invited to the wedding. Its considered rude. You don’t invite everyon to the shower thats invited to the wedding also. Showers are for your closest family and friends.

Post # 5
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Proper etiquette is that you can only invite people to your shower if they are also invited to your wedding.  I had to remind my Mother-In-Law because she wasn’t aware of this rule.  It’s rude ot invite people to a wedding party knowing they aren’t invited to the wedding.

Post # 6
1129 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Depends, here in Mexico, MOB and MOG organize the shower and invite EVERYONE they can. They usually distribute invites through all their friendsa and they invite friends too.

it is not considered rude, because it is about helping eachother. We also usually go to showers of people that won’t invite us to the wedding.

but, like I said, it is Mexico… Different culture. I think in the US this would be extremely inapropiate.

Post # 7
3194 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@regit45:  never ever invite someone to your shower that isn’t invited to your wedding.

it says “i don’t want to spend the money on having you at my special day, but please shower me with gifts”

nope nope nope

Post # 8
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@regit45:  I would say no. Proper etiquette, like you’re asking for, says no. I just wouldn’t even if it was a social norm becuase it seems too gift grabby to me.

Post # 9
957 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Not usually. However, we had a family friend ask if she could come to my sisters shower and we let her.

It went something like this:

“I know you guys had to keep the wedding invite list short because it was out of state, but I would love to see everyone. If you have a shower, please let me know.”

And we did. And she came. It was fine, but not the norm.

Post # 10
2360 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I believe it’s considered rude to invite someone to the shower, and not to the wedding.

The purpose of a shower is technically to be ‘showered’ with gifts. It seems inappropriate to say, “you can’t come to our wedding, but we’d love a gift from you anyway.”

Post # 11
13248 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No, you can’t do that without being rude.  It’s inappropriate and gift grabby to ask someone to come to your shower and not invite them to the wedding. 

Post # 13
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@regit45:  Since I am not planning one and don’t know if I am even getting one I have no clue 😉 What I am doing is sending our guest list with all contact details to my bridal party with indications of who I definitely want invited to the bachelorette (I know my Maid/Matron of Honor is planning one, probably for the summer), but nothing about a shower so as to not make them feel like they would have to do that (I don’t really care for one, to tell you the truth). Anything else they decide to do is up to them. I am going to hope they don’t invite anyone who is not invited to the wedding because it would be inappropriate.

Post # 14
967 posts
Busy bee

@regit45:  you could invite ppl not invited to the wedding to your bachelorette party. My sister got invited to a bachelorette party for a friend of hers but not the wedding. I agree with all other posters that you invite people to the shower that’s invited to the wedding but the bachelorette party is a little different. 

Post # 15
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I am not having one but if I were, I would not invite anyone who is not invited to the wedding itself. I think it is a little rude.

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