(Closed) Are you inviting your officiant to the reception?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: If you have NO relationship with your officiant, are you inviting him/her to the reception?
    Yes. : (35 votes)
    56 %
    No. : (27 votes)
    44 %
  • Post # 3
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    We’re inviting our officient to the reception, but he is also the pastor of our church and is traveling 500km to be at our wedding, so yeah lol.

    I don’t think you need to invite your officiant.

    Post # 4
    2161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @NJmeetsBX:  We did, but he declined.  He had a 6pm mass and my reception started at the same time.  He did pop by quickly between the dinner and dance.

    Post # 5
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We regard our officiant the same as you do, but ours is a Vegas wedding, so I think that sums it up, lol

    Post # 6
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’m inviting my officiant but I consider him a family friend (I used to babysit his kids even) so it’s different.  I think in your case it is still good etiquette to invite him, but from speaking to some friends it seems they usually will decline unless they know you well. You could try feeling him out to see if this is something he is expecting or not.

    Post # 7
    224 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    When me and my then Fiance went and met our officiant we actually asked him about it. He said he actually prefered not to be there so we did not end up inviting him.

    Post # 8
    16213 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    We invited him, and he politely declined. If you don’t have a relationship with him, I’d assume that he would also decline.

    Post # 9
    3982 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We invited the rabbi and his wife. They stayed long enough to eat and left. Fine with me! We didn’t really know him and he didn’t know us outside of our meetings but we wanted to extend the invitation because every other vendor there with us that day was going to be at the reception. Why not one of the men that married us! Our other officiant was my dad so… yeah, he was more than invited. lol

    Post # 10
    516 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Yes, but he is also my Uncle.  So he would be coming to the reception anyway.  Smile

    Post # 11
    2849 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m wondering the same thing. I’m hiring my officiant to perform our wedding, and we really don’t have a relationship with this person outside of our wedding. I don’t know if she is expecting an invite or if she would even want to come.

    Post # 12
    2106 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We also have an officiant for hire.  We asked him, “Is it typical that you attend the reception?” and he said that he does not expect to attend the reception.  He’s been totally upfront with us and is paying for his own transport, so we’ll be tipping him and inviting him to the rehearsal dinner.  I recommend that you have a check with his name on the front (as well as the rest of the vendors’ tips and balances) to have a bm or relative hand out. 

    If I were a stranger officiant and being paid to do a ceremony, I’d be perfectly happy to get a handshake and an envelope from the maid of honor. 

    Post # 13
    915 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We are not for the same reasons for you. Also, my wedding planner said that I don’t need to tip him because he is not a pastor at my church or anything, but a hired vendor. He isn’t doing our rehearsal and it’s $250, so I am being cheap and not tipping.

    Post # 14
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We will be, but he is also a neighbour and old friend.  I don’t think you need to invite yours.

    Post # 15
    579 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We didnt invite our officiant to our reception. We ended up really liking ours but as you said you have hired them to do a job. Much like the person doing your flowers or hair dresser! I think its different if the officiant was someone they have known for years as they were the pastor at your church.

    Post # 16
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I don’t think you need to. We are, but it’s the pastor of our church.

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