Are YOU jealous???

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Ok I’ll bite at this one for my first post on the boards! πŸ™‚

My boyfriend and I will be getting engaged within the next few months – just a matter of saving up some $$ to get the ring. We’ve been together for 3 1/2 years and about a year ago, a work friend of mine got engaged. The problem was that she did NOT want to marry her man. She had been trying to break up with him, but they already had an overseas trip planned last Christmas. Since she put the money down, she went on the trip and he proposed while they were away. She was kinda nervous about saying no when she was in a non-english speaking country… but then it took her another year to break off the engagement. During that time. she was planning for the wedding she didn’t even want to have, and it drove me crazy. I wanted to be planning a wedding SO BADLY, and there she was getting to do it.

 As far as overcoming it… I mostly kept it to myself, and also talked with some girlfriends to get it out of my system. The friend eventually broke off the engagement (it was really for the best. srsly), so I don’t have anything to be jealous about now!

Post # 4
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I hate to say it but YES.  I have a friend that is younger.  She started dating this "great guy" then basically dropped off the face of the earth because she was spending so much time with him.  Well after 2 1/2 months he popped the question.  Now the wedding will be in March, a good 6 months before our wedding.  The real kicker is that she seems to be using some of "our" plans.  (i.e. getting married at a family members home/property, having no wedding party, even the colors are similar)

 To add salt to my wound I am not even invited to the ceremony … just the reception πŸ™

Post # 5
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think the jealousy thing happens to everyone a little bit in certain situations. I’m not engaged right now, and I don’t want to be…we’ve decided to wait a while and that’s what I want. However, most of us love weddings, love the idea of planning one, and (let’s face it) kind of like the attention everyone gets when they become engaged.

My bf’s roommate proposed to his fiance in June, after meeting her in May (2 months? Seriously?)…we thought it was completely ridiculous at the time. It just made us a little irritated because we wanted to be like umm, excuse me? We’ve been dating for two years! We obviously know each other way better than you two do, and the two of you fight so often this will never work!

But, everyone has their own timeframe that works for them, and sometimes you just have to be accepting of that timeframe for other people. I guess you just overcome it by thinking about your own situation and how you really wouldn’t want to change anything for yourself. Also, you get to go have a blast and gather brainstorming ideas from other people’s weddings. πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I get budget envy. I wish I had the budget or financial support as some of my friends had for their weddings.

When my friend got engaged a month after mine, I did feel a bit thunder stolen. When my cousin got engaged after us and will be getting married before us, I felt thunder stolen. 

I guess I feel more envy than jealous. =/ But I try to find the silver lining in things (after I’ve done my share of "can you believe that!")

Post # 7
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My best friend recently got engaged because her (now) fiance joined the Air Force. I was, and still am, very happy for her. I have to admit I was jealous of all the attention she got since she and her boyfriend had, first of all, only been together for a couple years, and also had been on and off during that time. We (her, her fiance, me, and my boyfriend) all went to high school together, so people constantly ask when my boyfriend and I are getting engaged since we’ve been together for 5 years now. It was difficult when she got engaged first and it seemed almost random, and I’m still waiting although it’s "expected." But oh well, I know my time is coming soon – he has the ring and is just waiting for the perfect unexpected time to propose – and it will be just as exciting!  πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2010

when 2 of my friends got married last year I was sooooo jealous!  I know it sucks to admit that and it doesn’t make me look like that great of a person but they were living my dream since I was a little girl…

Well now I’m engaged…but a few months after I got engaged my brother got engaged and set a wedding date one year before mine…

 

so still jealous that he has the spotlight once again…and mad too..

how I’m dealing with it? Just trying to realize that that’s my big bro and I love him and it’s usually the brides day anyway…

 gosh…i feel horrible after writing this…lol

Post # 9
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m jelouse of those that have good jobs when my Fiance has been trying for months to find one. Those who have beautiful homes and I’m stuck looking for a 1,100sq ft because that is what we will be able to afford. It’s selfish but, I admit it I’m jelouse of all those who have it.

Post # 10
Bee
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

I’m jealous of those who are already married, already living their married lives. They’ve taken care of the wedding, the photos, all that, and are just moving on with their lives together. I’m excited to get there!

Post # 11
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

i’m just jealous that my friends live near their bfs. mine is many states away and i miss him terribly. other than that, i don’t get jealous over engagements and weddings. yeah i feel that pang of longing that it was my turn but i know that our timetable is different than everyone else’s. had the bf and i lived in the same state, we’d be long married by now but since we’re not, it just hasn’t happened yet. i’m always sincerely happy amd excited for everyone even though eventually i just need to step away to keep from getting jealous.

Post # 12
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Hmmm…I’m not actually jealous of anyone else…that’s odd, for me!

My Maid/Matron of Honor told me that she thinks her bf might propose soon (they have been together for about 4 months now).  My reaction?  EXCITEMENT!!  Yay my best friend might be getting married too!!

Man, this engagement thing has me all giddy…where did all my bitterness and envy go???

😎

Post # 13
Member
1428 posts
Bumble bee

I am a new bee so here goes with my 1st post…deep breath…okay…lol…in the past when I was younger the green-eyed monster used to bite at me when close friends or relatives got engaged & were all into the "wedding planning" excitement. Now that I am older and have met the man that I am spending the rest of my life with, that silly old monster doesn’t bug me anymore. Instead I get swept up in their happiness & excitement (meanwhile taking copious mental notes of what I like & don’t like about their plans) knowing that someday in the not-too-distant future that I will be the excited bride-to-be….just my 2 cents for what it’s worth.

Post # 14
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I’m honestly not a jealous person.  I know when I got married my sister was pretty unhappy and she didn’t hide it much (which hurt my feelings).  I’m pretty sure when she’s ready to get married I’ll be happy and ready to help (sometimes when Im mad at her I think about treating her how she treated me though :), I would never really do that though).

Post # 15
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I was very jealous before I got engaged and friends or acquaintances got engaged or married before me.

One of them was my former roommate… she’d met her fiance a year after I met mine, and they got engaged a year later, but 5 months before we did. The frustrating thing was that I started to freak out because it was so out of the blue, to find out that they’d bought the ring together MONTHS before, and had told my boyfriend (now husband) about it, but said not to tell me, because I would freak out! I’m not sure how my reaction would have been different if I had known in advance, but it did start me on a long process of trying to deal with jealousy.

I’ve since had 3 started-dating-after, engaged-after, married before (or 2 weeks later!) friends, and each one has been its own challenge. One especially challenging one was a friend who had been in love with/had a crush on the man who is now her husband for 3 or 4 years before he ever asked her out, while he went through one major relationship and several other attempts at other girls before her, all the while just being friends. They went from dating to married and pregnant in under a year, and I guess it just took a while to reconcile that we both had our own difficult times of waiting… mine just happened after my husband and I started dating.

It’s hard not to be petty, and to realize that every relationship really is different, and every time table is different as well. I think part of the problem for me was also that most of these friends had parents who were able to pick up huge chunks of the weddings for them, while Darling Husband and I scraped together a shoestring budget on our own. Doubly unfair! (j/k) But to each his own… I just try to keep telling myself that it’s Darling Husband that I wanted to marry, not any of these other people, so what works for us is all that matters for us.

Post # 16
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

For me it’s been a little bit of jealousy here and there but I really think it’s only because of our long engagement.  I know a LOT (seriously 5 couples!) who were engaged after us, but are getting married before us!  I know it was 100% our decision to have a long engagement but I can’t help but be jealous that they get to say "I do" before us! 

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