(Closed) Are YOU jealous???

posted 12 years ago in Waiting
Post # 62
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am jealous of people with supportive families.

Yeah, I know a lot of people have horrible stories about MIL’s from hell, but at least it meant someone gives half a damn about you.

Neither my partner nor I have any family that really gives a damn. We’ve only recently decided to marry but we haven’t even told our families yet. 

I doubt my parents will even come to the wedding as it’s something they don’t believe in, and his mother will probably come if it’s not going to interfere with her playing bowls. And we won’t get a single dime from anyone to help with the budget.

When some friends became engaged a couple of years ago, the parents threw an engagement party for them at a lovely restaurant. When they were married, half the wedding was paid for. The brides had her dress and BM’s dresses paid for.

Her mother stood up and gave a lovely speech at the reception.

I’ll never have any of that. So I am jealous.

Post # 63
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

I am jealous of people with supportive families.

-Me too.

 

last summer, this friend and I talked about engagement a fair bit. She knew we were ring shopping, and never let on that she and her bf were also ring shopping. At first, I felt super excited when she got engaged two weeks after us…then I felt duped because to everyone else, their engagement was this big exciting shock, and ours was just expected. They’d been together for just over four years, us for 5 and a half. No one really got excited. We never had a party, etc… She went from being engaged to planning, to parties, to being married. I’m not saying it’s all about the parties, but it was definitely an exciting time for her whereas we got engaged and it was…more of the same. We have an amazing relationship, but I’d just like a little bit of what she’s having…ya know?

For the past few months, I’ve had to go to bachelorettes and wedding pre-parties for her and it finally started to just eat at me. They just got back from their destination wedding, and we have a year and 9 months to go until ours… and I’m just not even sure how we are going to swing it financially whereas they had a lot of help from their parents. Of course I’m jealous. I went from waiting, to waiting some more, with bits of planning sprinkled in and some days, it really does suck. 

 

that felt good.

Post # 64
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee

Seeing newly engaged couples just makes me excited for when it’s our time. We’re definitely not ready- financially and are in no rush to be married. I would just like to do a few things before we “take the plunge” and I know my SO feels the same. I’m not the average “waiting bee” which is why I haven’t requested to be added to the list until about a year from now. I have a rule that I wan’t to wait until at least halfway through the seven year itch. But ideally I could wait until 2014-2015. A great husband is worth the wait. We’re not planning on having kids and don’t really need to marry until we move out of the US.

 

I found this site while looking up information about green moissy for a necklace, but was immediately hooked.

Post # 64
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m so glad I found this board. I have been a green eyed monster over my fiance’s younger siblings getting married and having babies before us even tho we are older and have been together longer. I fear that my wedding in May and children in the distant future won’t be as exciting as their first ones. I know this is truly not rational but we are all human. Thanks for helping me feel like I’m not going crazy!!!

Post # 65
Member
17 posts
Newbee

I have been having a terrible time with jealousy this past year. I was being patient the first 1.5-2 years, but when a roommate dated multiple guys/began dating/didn’t see her bf often/then was engaged in less than a year, I WAS JEALOUS. I told my boyfriend that I was jealous that her guy found who he wanted and went after them (While my guy has said from early on he knows I am the one and we’re still not engaged). I still struggle, very much; but I have been realizing that  the jealousy/bitterness I was exhibiting to my boyfriend is not a good way to make him to propose. I try venting to close friends, and when the topic is brought up, I am trying to express my positive thoughts rather than the, “JUST PROPOSE DAMMIT!!!” I feel.

Post # 66
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

Yes, definitely, to the point where I have chosen to deactivate my facebook profile. I’d see a friend or relative get engaged and it would put me into a bad mood the rest of the day, especially if it was a couple that had been together less time than us.

 

Post # 67
Member
35 posts
Newbee

View original reply
asafo117:  Yea I had to just leave behind facebook.

 

My boyfriend’s brother got married and I wasn’t even jealous at that point. I was actually excited.

She is very reserved, which comes out kinda like she is better than everyone but I am coming to find out that really isn’t the case. My boyfriend does question her ’cause he feels his brother gives up or does way more than she does in the relationship.

The jealousy came when she announced that they were having a baby. The reason for it, and I know it is a grass is always greener on the other side instance is because my boyfriend’s family is so tight knit and her family is as well and now she has two families and her own on the way.

 

I don’t know what it is like to have a family. I am use to people coming in and out. I just feel like the only way I would feel he means what he says is if he does marry me. I’ve always kept distant in relationships but with my boyfriend I went all in. He finally told me that marriage and kids will most likely never be something he wants. I would have left a while ago if he would have told me sooner. I have had such a wonderful life with him… but I want marriage with him. Not just wanting to be married to anyone, but him.

 

It has been a difficult 2 months since he told me that. It scares me. Right now all I can think of is pathedic holidays and rotting in a nursing home with no friends or family. 

 

I am getting a bit more nervous as well because I do have problems with my lady parts. Not to get too graphic but I am surprised that I haven’t had a pregnancy scare at all.

 

Kindaaa freaking out.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by  heartdrive.
Post # 68
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Ring size. Sounds terrible but we got engaged and married really quickly and we didn’t have time to go ring shopping and find something that we were both happy with. He ended up choosing a very sparkly diamond anniversary band which is incredibly beautiful and very practical, but I never got to show off a ring that made me look like I was engaged. Several of my friends at the time got a nice sized diamond and I Was jealous that my engagement made me look married not engaged. 

Post # 69
Member
834 posts
Busy bee

I realize this is a resurrected post.

I have never ever and will never ever be jealous of my friends having babies or getting engaged before me. EVER. I love my friends, they are successful and healthy and beautiful and deserve every bit of happiness life has to offer, i love them and I have only ever been happy for them.

 

That being said. I got jealous when my FI’s younger brother got engaged and married before us. Mind you, I am much younger than FBIL’s now wife. She is now 27 and I am only 21. Fiance on the other hand is 33. I was jealous bc Fiance and I have been together longer, lived together and we didn’t have the luxury to get engaged and married when we wanted to because of a lengthy immigration process ( he is american, I am canadian). I went to their wedding and it was about 100+ people, all their families and friends. Her parents and his parents paid for it all. They got everything, rehearsal dinner, bachelorette party, bridal shower and more. And I have to elope since I was disowned and estranged from my family and I dont think FI’s parents (who I am close with) will pay for anything. 
I am fine with eloping since I’ll still wear a nice dress and have reception later where my best friends will attend. I am just jealous since I see what I could have had, if things were different. I tend to play the “why me” game a lot lately since I compare myself to my Future Sister-In-Law and her wedding. Had I married the man my parents wanted me to marry, arranged marriage, I would have had 1000 people at my wedding, but i wouldnt have been in love or happy so at the end of the day – this is the life I chose and i have no business being jealous. But sometimes, i get jealous of those things. 

Post # 70
Member
17 posts
Newbee

Oh hell yeah! I mean, I’m human after all. But I feel this weird mix of emotions like I’m jealous but I feel guilty about feeling jealous. I try to rationalize that all relationships are different and I shouldn’t compare mine to others but there’s always that pang of jealousy especially if it’s someone who’s younger and/or dated in less time than you.  Just thinking about it makes my eye twitch but hey you never know what when on behind the scenes (there’s some sneaky, manipulative people out there). 

I’ll get my time eventually. 🙂

Post # 71
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
elephantear:  I am certainly happy for them and love my family and friends. Its just the ugly green eyed monster that comes out from time to time. Jealousy is my sin. Plain and simple lol!

Post # 72
Member
834 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
izzy2291:  i often feel like i get the shitty end of the stick in situations. I don’t assume things will always be fair or expect them to be, but it would nice if i didn’t have to always fight for every single thing in my life. It would be nice to just plan something I want instead of fighting for why I want it in the first place- if that makes any sense.

 

lately, I feel like every one thinks I’m stupid for wanting a reception or a cake or a DJ or guests. The way his friends and family react to our engagement seems like “why bother? Just sign the legal document – no need to make a show of it.”. 

Post # 73
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

Facebook is a horrible place during engagement season. LOL! At this point its comical. I did find myself sad after seeing so many engagements and realizing it was something I truly wanted. Once I realized that I began to talk more about moving forward. But I was so comfortable until I started seeing all those posts. 

Its funny how other peoples lives can affect yours and they have no idea. Luckily Im passed my jealousy. Just waiting for my moment. 

Post # 74
Member
28 posts
Newbee

Oh my goodness.. This is exactly how i have been feeling lately. I have two colleagues from work who have both recently just started dating their partners (under a year) and they both just got engaged. I’m over here trying to keep my cool and everyone is looking at me and asking when I will be engaged because I’ve been with my SO for over 4 years!! 

 

Its SOO hard to stay positive and not let your jealousy/envy show!!! It also hard to not get upset with your SO or think you’re the reason why you’re not engaged yet. 

 

What do I do to stay level headed? I vent to you bees!!! It really helps me but every time someone close to me gets a ring, it’s another stab!

Post # 75
Member
8 posts
Newbee

A girl I was friends with in middle school and high school got engaged in February and seeing another announcement on Facebook put me into tears after seeing several wedding/baby announcements over a span of about a month.  I started avoiding Facebook for Lent so that I don’t see random engagements and baby announcements everywhere from people that I’m not that close to.  If people really want me to know about a big event, they’ll tell me in person or call.  It’s just too emotionally stressful to see that all the time.  I might keep it up even past Easter!  Maybe someday my bf will propose… but it won’t be soon, and my stressing won’t help matters.

The topic ‘Are YOU jealous???’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors