Post # 1
I’m curious what other people are doing after they are married..
I had a really hard time after I got engaged coming to grips with changing my name. My FH is not understanding on me wanting to keep my name, and basically gave me an ultimatum about this…my parents kept telling me that it didn’t matter if my last name changes 100 times, by blood, I will always be who I am now.
I’ve decided and let FH know that although I plan on changing my last name, I am keeping my maiden name for work because I’m in an industry where people know me with my maiden name. I don’t want to cause a rift in my business relationships with confusion (although I know it’s probably not very confusing for some, it’s just the way I feel). If I change industries and jobs, that’s another story.
*poll edited for clarification
Post # 3
I’m adding his name to mine, and while my employer requires the use of my legal name, most likely I will keep the maiden at work and be his last outside of work. I kept my maiden for the same reasons you mentioned. So I don’t know where that exactly fits on your poll, but that is what I did.
Post # 4
If I was a Lawyer, Dr, journalist etc. or had a career where I made a name for myself I would keep mu maiden name, but it doesn’t really matter in my job. Plus – I kinda hate my last name & FI’s is pretty generic.
Post # 5
I was and still kind of am having a hard time coming to grips with letting go of my last name and I have gotten those same talks from my dad about it not mattering what my last name is, but I am really attached to it. My Fiance isnt understanding at all! He looks at it like a lack of commitment, which it is fully not but he is being pretty stubborn about even negotiating it, which kind of makes me go “UGH!!!!” bc he is having to make any sort of changes like that. So as it stands i am just taking his name
Post # 6
I wasn’t established to the point i needed to keep my name. Had i been published, a professor, or older, I probably would have!
Post # 7
I’m changing my last name, but as PP said I’m not in a profession where it makes much difference. Plus, FI’s last name is pretty much the coolest ever, so I’m excited to change mine (which sounds like a word for butt).
Post # 8
@Dancy – lol I think the exact opposite of you. I love my last name bc it is different and unique and dont want the FI’s because it is so generic
Post # 9
I’m a lawyer so I have to use my legal name at work. So, I’ve decided to keep my maiden name legally and use it professionally but go by his name socially.
Post # 10
I’m not yet established in my career, so I don’t really mind taking my FI’s name. In fact, I’m excited about it! It’s an upgrade in the alphabet and just as simple as mine.
Post # 11
I think am going to hyphenate it and then use whichever part suits me in the situation. Mrs. Smith sometimes, Mrs. Jones sometimes and Mrs. Smith-Jones other times. Fiance is not thrilled, but he understands.
Post # 12
Same here – I’m a lawyer but I also think my name is kick-ass. I’m just going to add his last name after mine, so I have some record of it somewhere (marriage license just has my name) and for family gatherings I’ll be Mrs. X, but for work and my own use, I’ll always be me…. Just can’t do the hyphen.
Post # 13
I really want to keep my name the way it is. I have lived with it for 27 years and really feel attached and proud of my last name. Also, I am already established in the workforce and feel that my last name is actually (hope this does not sound mean) a stronger last name to use in my kind of enviroment. But my Fiance feels otherwise so I am compromising and adding his last name to mine. Blah but due to the limited space on my business cards (hehe) I shall keep them the way they are.
Post # 14
Growing up, I always thought I’d be Mrs. FH’s last name. Now that I’m actually engaged, I’m torn! I think I might do a Jennifer Love Hewitt combo.
Post # 15
I’m another lawyer (we do seem a bit overrepresented here) and I’m changing my name to my FI’s name.
Right now, my last name is my ex-husband’s name and even though it is going to be a giant pain, I can’t stand having his name anymore. I did briefly consider keeping it; I’ve used his name my entire legal career and it’s a very memorable name….but I just can’t do it. I didn’t even tell Fiance I was considering it, because I knew he’d be hurt.