posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@suburbian:  Geez, I am so sorry!

I’m having a similar problem, though it is not nearly as severe as yours. I would just tell him like it is and explain to him what has happened. I doubt it will make him change the way he handles stuff for the wedding in the future. I’m also not opposed to suggesting he pay for the suits because you did everything you were supposed to do

Post # 4
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh, that sucks!  I normally am a huge believer of his friends = his responsibility.  But in this case, especially since items are potentially selling out, action needs to be taken.  If you know their wives/SOs, call them.  Clearly, he hasn’t called them in 4 weeks, it’s unlikely he will now on his own.  I would ask him for the phone #s and call yourself.  It may be that you’ll have to front the cost of the suits so you can get them ordered, and hope you get paid back.  If no one had ordered the suit yet, I’d take different steps, but you already have vests for everyone and at least 1 full suit done.

Post # 5
4574 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

*hugs*…try not to kill your Fiance (although im sure you want) remember you need him for the wedding ;))) GL lady, i hope you find a solution soon

Post # 7
2574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would let him handle it.  He knew it was his responsibility to have all the guys in matching outfits, let him take care of the legwork.  If he ends up having to buy something more expensive or rent something at the very last minute then that’s too bad for his groomsmen but no reason you should have to stress over it.  But I would definitely tell him he’s on his own about it, since you’ve begun doing work on the problem he needs to know you’re no longer involved.  And then you get to relax 🙂

Post # 9
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

@suburbian:  I don’t blame you for being mad. I also understand why this is emotional, and may be taking away your clear headed thinking abilities. So, I just want to say breathe. There is nothing you can do about it now. Yes, your Fiance was a useless lump who is making you do everything. But we can’t stress the things we can’t control.

I am going to hazard a guess that the g-men outfits are NOT going to be the biggest part of your day, and I am also going to guess that you won’t even notice. You will be so wrapped up in your love (remember, you do love him, lol) and the meaning of the day that clothes will NOT matter. Certainly not enough to stress you or your budget.

Khakis are easy to match. Would it be the end of the world if they wore khaki pants that weren’t exactly the same? Would anyone even be able to tell?

ETA: just saw that you are considering leaving this up to him. Again. Hon, that is something you can control. You’ve heard the expression, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me? If he isn’t interested in this part of the day (and his actions have proven he is not, regardless of what his words said) then you need to handle it or else you will end up with more stress.

Post # 10
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@suburbian:  take a deep breath honey. He screwed up with the suits. You know what? The groomsmen are the groom’s responsibility, not yours, so if they are mismatched it’s no reflection on you. Don’t spend more than you had budgeted for. It’s not worth it. Concentrate on yourself and your bridesmaids. You don’t need any added stress.

Post # 14
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@suburbian:  Honestly, this is why IDGAF when someone calls me controlling & “rushing things” because at least I get sh:t done!..especially when it comes to money. 


This is such a typical man move, at least the ones I know. It’s like they have no idea how stuff works. 


When we book vacations, it takes him 3 weeks to make a decision and by the time he does the tickets i suggested have tripled in price (just as it happened with the pants)…so…after I rambled for way too long, I’d like to say that:

You should detach yourself and forget about this and let him handle it. It was his one and only job, and he messed up, it is up to him to fix it – it is not your problem how much anyone pays for what or how they get the stuff they need. Take a bubble bath, have some wine with candlelight and just let it go. You don’t deserve to worry about this too. 


Your post is making me re-think leaving the suit picking/buying/whatever to FH because I have a sour feeling I will be in your same shoes very soon. 

Post # 16
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@suburbian:  I don’t know, I really don’t. I think it goes back to how they were brought up….and their mother (yes; this applies to my man). 


What’s this about a text? Did you send something not-so-nice in a moment of rage? 😛

The topic ‘ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?’ is closed to new replies.

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