(Closed) Are you kidding me?! She needs to grow up

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013


What do you think you’ll do about her? 

Post # 4
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i actually can understand why she’d be upset. my uncle (my mom’s bro) split from his wife a few years back. she did some pretty awful things, so it was not an amicable break-up. some family members have chosen to remain friends with his ex-wife. they’ve invited her to family parties and such and it’s very hurtful for him to see his own family members being friends with someone who treated him and their children so badly.

i don’t know the circumstance of your family’s situation, but if they’re on good terms, i see no problem with inviting both of them.

it’s your wedding, so you can invite whoever you want. i’m just playing devil’s advocate 🙂

Post # 5
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Your wedding. Your guestlist. She needs to get over it. Let her know that you’re marriage celebration isn’t about her. It’s about you, and the people you want to share it with.

Post # 6
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

@PinkAndPearls2013:  I don’t think you should have to worry about what everyone else thinks.  Hopefully, they can behave like grown-up’s at your wedding.  It’s just one day!

Post # 8
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I wouldn’t call her now either or better yet ignore until the wedding.

I also have a few family members who got divorce but I can’t imagine inviting my cousins and one parent without the other. Yes she does need to grow up. I think the best you can do is not sitting thme together, then tell her you sorry if she can’t make it under those conditions.

Everything I pan on not negotiating on one bit, I always phrase it that way so for example calling because they want a plus one

Oh sorry we don’t have space for your random flavor of the month, we understand if you can’t make it without a plus one.

Someone calling because they want their kid can’t come,

oh sorry you can’t find a babysitter, we understand that you can’t make it without your child,

so I would say something like that ot your aunt(if you feel confident about calling her bluff)


Post # 9
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yeah she needs to build a bridge and get over it.

Post # 10
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think you need to call your aunt back because you don’t owe her an explanation (especially if she sent you a FB message telling you to call her – WTF?). Anyway, I’m glad you’re sticking to your guns on this one. You’re the one getting married and you get to decide who to spend your special day with. If she has a problem with that, then she needs to deal with it.

Go you!

Post # 11
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Your wedding, your invites. Make it clear that this is your & Fiance day and you’ll invite who you want and that you won’t sit them by eachother. If she has a problem with that then she’s welcome to skip the wedding. She’s being a child.

Post # 13
1547 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@PinkAndPearls2013:  wow! how melodramatic!

I’d say “bitch please, everyone will be looking AT ME, cuz im the bride!”

well.. i wouldn’t say it… but i would definatly think it.

Post # 14
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@PinkAndPearls2013:  Well damn.

She leaves him and is the angry one?!

Now, I do have to ask this because I would not want to see extra drama come your way: are you inviting their SO’s?

Post # 16
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

She’s nuts.  Family is not just blood, when you’re married for that long it’s not divided along the lines of “his” family and “her” family.  She can’t seriously be thinking that she would never have to see him again– they have children together!  They will forever be bound by that!

I’m sorry OP.  That situations sucks.  I invited my ex-aunt but not my uncle because I was afraid something like this might happen with my uncle.  There’s no “right” thing to do with things like this.  I wish you well as family drama is thrown at you. 

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