- 5 months ago
Wow, never knew things could be so complicated when you’re rich.
Wow, never knew things could be so complicated when you’re rich.
Money makes people crazy.
My mom is splitting her estate 50/50 with my sister. I actually told her that I would be fine with her leaving my niece and nephew a portion and then split the rest. I don’t have kids, but I think it’s fair. She said, nope, 50/50 between her two daughters.
My dad (parents are divorced) originally had it set up 40/40/20 to my sister, myself and my stepbrother, but then he kicked my sister off the trust when they were fighting. I’m actually hoping they repair the relationship before he passes because I don’t want to deal with the wrath of my sister when she finds that out.
I won’t have children of my own, but my fiance has 2 sons. I also have the added complication that my fiance is 15 years older than I am. Once we are married, he will be my main beneficiary, but if he dies before me, I will split my estate between his 2 kids, my niece and nephew and my cousin’s daughter.
I am an only child, and my parents have it set up so that everything goes to me. But I am so happy they take at least one big international trip a year- I hope they spend most of the money on themselves. I have 3 kids and I don’t know that I would just have things split equally 3 ways. It entirely depends on their personalities and the people they turn out to be when they are grown. And by that I mean a productive member of society- not in prison, drug addicted etc. No one is entitled to my money just because I gave birth to them.
Money makes people so ugly. My dad died and in a last act of assholery cut me out of his will and left everything to his sister. He had 8 houses, sports cars, bars of silver, stocks, a stockpile of guns, etc etc. I’m told my cousin is currently living in my childhood home. They’ve kept everything very hush hush because I think they’re expecting me to contest the will but I really don’t want that ugliness in my life. I knew what I was getting into when I cut him out of my life. No amount of money is worth the abuse.
I believe my parents split the majority 50/50 between my sister and I, but wrote a bunch of conditions into it that we would not get anything if we are addicts, criminals, or other conditions under which the money would be enabling us. My sister is very irresponsible financially, so my dad has cut her off until she digs herself out of the hole and starts being responsible. It’s sad that money makes many people so ugly , and I’ve always had a fear that she would be the type to divide the family over an inheritance.
I’d put conditions in the will like my parents did, assuming we have the money to do so. If my child(ren) were not self sufficient, productive adults (assuming we live long enough!), I would not want to give them a bunch of money.
Sansa85 : Thank you. Life without toxicity is a much better reward.
I’ll be honest though, at first I was super bitter. I felt like I was entitled to that money, that I had suffered and I deserved that money because of it. My Darling Husband and I are trying to buy a house and with that money we could have bought one outright. But in reality I wasn’t “entitled” to anything and I knew all those years ago that by cutting him off I was basically forfeiting hundreds of thousands of dollars, but you know what? I’d do it again. Peace of mind and personal safety is worth all the money.
katebluestone : I have read that instead of leaving a child nothing, to leave the one you want to cut out $1.00 or whatever dollar amount you decide, plus supporting documents about why you are doing this. You can also add a no-contest clause, which penalizes the person who contests the will. (they forfeit anything they received.)
There was actually just a case in BC where a family left less to their daughters (like 150k vs 3M) than their sons. The daughters protested because it was (likely) based on religious discrimination against women. They ended up winning. The girls now get 1.3M each and the sons got 1.5 or something. So there are still ways around that sort of stuff.
case: When Nahar and Nihal Litt died, they left 93 per cent of the family fortune [$9M] to their two sons, splitting the remainder among their four daughters.
I’m not planning on having kids. If I end up having anything to give away, I’d give it to my neices and nephews and then donate the rest.
For me, it would probably be easy. I’m an only child and my parents are separated. My dad is broke, so no expectations there, and my mom is not overly wealthy, but enjoying travelling. She’s not yet retired (and has a ways until!) so unless she hits the lotto I’d not expect much there either lol.
My husbands parents would probably leave more to his brother, because they have kids (well, kid). That’s if they have anything left. THey are double mortgaged and still spending money like they robbed a bank. Can we inherit debt? That’s more likely what we’d get…
My children’s inheritance will be a creepy old house where things aren’t as they seem and a mysterious backstory.
Oh, and a treasure map.
I don’t think I will be getting anything from my parents. They don’t have a lot of money, and I have never thought they would leave anything to me or my sisters. Of course their person belongings, but no money or anything.
My husband and I are expecting our first child right now, very possiblely our only child. If that’s the case anything we have when we pass will go to him/her. If we do end up having another it’ll be 50/50.
Husbands parents have some money, plus their house which right now is worth about 700k. They have already said everything will be 50/50 between him and his brother.
I used to work in a nursing home and it was insane how people started acting when a family member was about to pass. The person wouldn’t even be gone yet and these family member were fighting over crap that isn’t even worth anything in the room at the home. It was ridiculous.
This always makes me sad to see people fighting.
I’m my parent’s executor. They aren’t dead yet, but everything is split equally between my sisters and I. I wouldn’t mind if one sister takes care of them later in life if they get more money as compensation. I have dibsed a painting I want though, and another sister dibsed my mum’s engagement ring. Not sure the parents are super stoked on our dibsing haha.
My old boss also had three sisters that she was very close with. Three of them had very successful occupations (lawyer, doctor, and accountant), one was employed, but didn’t make anywhere near as much money. The lower-income sister had a fight with their father shortly before he died, and he wrote her out of the will. The estate wasn’t that much, $100,000. I had a come to Jesus talk with my boss because she was adamant that if her father wanted to give her $33,000 she was keeping all of it. I pointed out that $8,000, especially considering her income, was not a reason to lose a sister. Thankfully she listened. They were filing legal documents though.
I have no children yet, so right now if both my husband and I died our assets (very very limited assets lol) would go to our brothers split 50/50. Once we have kids we would split anything between them, assuming no one is in jail/rehab/doing something horrendous.
My parents have been very clear that my brother and I should not expect a large financial inheritance. They made good money but they’re enjoying their retirement and I’m glad! They do own two homes that we will split 50/50. Most likely we will sell the out of state one, and I’ll buy out my brothers half of the primary home since I live in that town and he doesn’t. But who really knows.
Honestly above a will, I think it’s important for people to consider medical POA and who has control in those situations. My parents waited waaaay too late into life to finally designate a POA and take care of those documents. People should straighten that away as soon as you are able, thank goodness it never became an issue with them but it’s peace of mind for all of us knowing how things would proceed financially and medically if the worst happened.
princessanon0125 : I don’t think that the person named as executor HAS to do it. I believe that when the time comes, it is possible to renounce your role and the heirs can appoint someone else (who can be qualified person).
Sometimes an inheritance can be a curse. I knew someone who inherited her parents’ mansion, but the inheritance tax bill was so massive that trying to keep it going was a huge burden. It was also in a terrible state of repair.
I think Darling Husband and I will discuss our finances with our lawyer and a CPA. We certainly want our children to stand on their own two feet and not expect us to put them on solvent ground. So far we are doing well in that area.
You all have given me some practical ideas that I can bring up. Trust vs. Inheritance, no contest clauses (never heard of that one, but looked it up), and some other ideas.
Darling Husband and I intend to move to the Caribbean in just about 3 years and from there we will be traveling the world. We have saved and budgeted. If we ultimately decide to leave our children our money, then likely it will get split evenly between them. I do wish that money didnt bring out the worst in people.