Post # 46
Not the parent. But both my parents have made their wills known to me, more for gathering my opinion about it than anything else – I’m the older kid.
I told them wills weren’t about dividing their stuff equally between us kids, but rather their goal should be setting each of us up so that the end result was equal for both of us.
My younger sibling has decided on their career pathway and they’ll earn plenty but based on our career trajectories, my projected income is substantially higher than theirs will be. When mom reached out to ask about how I felt about their wills, I basically told them to make sure my sibiling was set. They’re paying for our schooling and my degree will more than support my needs and wants. So, I’m perfectly happy if my sibling gets a substantially larger share of their estate.
Honestly, I think parents should discuss their wills more openly with their children. Fights always occur after deaths because the kids are emotionally wrung out from dealing with the death and then left hurting and angry when one kid receives more. On my end, sibling and I have seen an aunt fight her entire family over an inheritance and then defrauding family members to gain access to the inheritance. Now that we’ve seen what money can do, we’ve both promised not to turn out that way; and frankly, neither of us care enough about money to be that conniving or hateful to the other.
Post # 47
That sounds fucked up. Lol… My dad just passed away and while he didn’t have much in the way of money, he had life insurance. I inherited 100k while my sister inherited the other 100k However, I’m in charge of taking care of his finances because my family doesn’t speak English or are too young and it’s been such an incredible headache trying to get my sister her share because she’s not 18 yet and our mom needs that money to take care of her. We need to go to court and then get a bond. So I’ve actually told my mom I’d be happy to gift her and my sister my 100k to take care of their finances and not expect anything back in the future. They’re family. Much more important than money. I learned that when I lost my dad and he had spent his entire life working his ass off and never taking a vacation to take care of us. He never became rich but he raised me well. And even if my sister’s inheritance is able to taken care of properly, I’m setting the money I inherited aside to take care of my mom in the future as part of her retirement money, since I know she spent nearly all her savings taking care of the household when dad got cancer.
As a result of being in this situation though, I’ve now given a lot of thought ot how my husband and I will give our children their inheritance as well as getting funeral arrangements and grave plots ready so our future kids won’t ever have to worry about it. I would give it to them 50/50 but never let them think they were entitled to anything. I want them to make something of themselves and never have to worry about mom and dad’s money coming in.
ETA: I’m now realizing right after I posted that I may sound judgemental of people I never met and they could be struggling to make payments on their homes or something and therefore need the inheritance more. My husband and I are completely fine without the insurance money and I never felt like I was entitled to anything from my parents because they already raised me so well so it doesn’t bother me.
Post # 48
- Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey
I haven’t children or substantial stuff that I can possibly divide but I’m really hoping that when that day comes all my children (if we’ll have any) receives more or less the same amount.
My parents were super hard working people in a not so wealthy society but they have already given all three of us siblings a flat of our own when they’re still alive. Flats are in different places and some essentially will cost more than the other if one of us ever sells but all suited to our lifestyles. I couldn’t be more thankful. I’d love to be able to do the same to my children.
We talked about this issue with me husband, who will inherit 2 flats from his parents, and we joked we could have 3 children and still pass down some real estate. Hehe
Post # 49
princessanon0125 : I don’t have children yet, but hopefully will in the next couple of years with my husband. My husband has 1 son already from a previous relationship.
I will receive an inheritance of approx $500,000 to $1,000,000 from relatives in the next 20 years, which I will use solely as investment in property or shares. In my death, this will be divided between any biological children of mine, and my younger siblings and their offspring (due to some complicated family dynamics, my siblings aren’t a part of this inheritance). This is something my husband and I discussed well before we were married.
Otherwise, everything will be completely evenly split between children, with no stipulations. Even if they were a drug addict I wouldn’t write them out of the will. I’ve first hand seen a middle aged meth addict completely turn their life around with an inheritance, so I wouldn’t want to deny them that opportunity. Worst case, they will just buy the drugs they were going to buy anyway. Even if my kids hated me and hadn’t spoken to me for years, I wouldn’t write them out of the will.
Post # 50
I have seen very ugly fights related to inheritance, including people forging parents’ signatures to get properties.
One of my ex-coworkers decided to spend all his money. He took his wife, kids and kids’ partners to Hawaii. My ex-coworker told them that he rather every one enjoy the money while he is alive than kids foght over the inehritance money.
Post # 51
odaile1 : My aunt actually did that with my Grandmother and got control of her home. My grandmother had a massive stroke, couldnt even feed herself and yet my aunt went to the hospital, and with a little help signed over my grandmothers home to herself.
By the time anyone had figured it out, she had done one of those reverse mortgages. My grandmother passed away and within a week, my aunt, sold everything in the house, and the mortgage company took the house. She also had my grandmother sign over an insurance policy for her, then didnt even use the proceeds for her cremation. Instead she begged everyone including my mother for the cremation. My mother ultimately paid for the whole thing, then my aunt called the funeral home and told them not to announce a service or anything. It was devastating because 1.) My grandmother wanted to be buried in her home state, which my mother offered to pay for, the flight, the transport of the body, the whole she bang. 2.) My aunt basically robbed everyone of the right to say goodbye, because my grandmothers siblings were still alive at the time and in their 80s, so with no service and no burial, they didnt get to see her off. 3.) My aunt had for some time been stealing from her. She went to court behind everyones back and had my grandmother’s POA transferred to herself. My grandmother had previously had a stroke, my aunt didnt like what the doctor said and took her to another doctor. So when they told her that my grandma needed round the clock care, my aunt just stopped taking her to the doctor at all. She barred people from visiting and claimed she had in home care, when she didnt. Finally my other aunts and uncles figured out that my grandmother was being left alone all day, in bed where she was using the bathroom on herself and not being fed. My mom got POA for medical care, but my mom still couldnt manage to keep my aunt out of the money. My grandmother who had a pretty handsome bank account died basically penniless.