(Closed) Are you married and in a LDR?

posted 7 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
  • poll: Are you married and in a LDR?
    Yes : (7 votes)
    16 %
    No, we're LD, but not married yet. : (19 votes)
    43 %
    No, we're married but not long distance. : (7 votes)
    16 %
    We're semi-LD and married. : (5 votes)
    11 %
    We're semi-LD and not married. : (5 votes)
    11 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Nope.. I told him we’re not getting married until we’re in the same state. Soooo sick of this whole 3 months away/one week together BS!

    Post # 4
    Member
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    That will be us for 2-5 months after the wedding. It’s not economical for us to have someone commute 80+ miles daily, and then after that I’ll be prepping for the bar and living at our summer place. He’s not sure where he’ll be working this summer yet (he’s got a school-schedule job). We’ll see one another every weekend at a minimum, so perhaps that’d be ‘semi-long distance.’

    Post # 5
    Member
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @Mrs. Puffin:  I said the same thing! Well kind of 😛

    I’m currently 4 hours away from Boyfriend or Best Friend and it sucks majorly – especially since I’m a student going to school and it’s really that much MORE stressful.

    I told Boyfriend or Best Friend that I want to get married but we HAVE to live together once we’re married. I don’t want to go back to this after we’re married – it’ll SERIOUSLY put a damper on things.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5921 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    We spent our first year of marriage in a sort of LDR.  He was working out of state March-September, and I saw him 3 times, all times I flew or drove to visit. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    515 posts
    Busy bee

    Not married yet, but we’re mil-to-mil so even once we’re stationed together, we could quite possibly end up being long distance through deployments, tdys, etc.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7777 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We were LDR for 8-9 months after we got married. He’s military and we were waiting to PCS overseas, so I stayed at home in St. Louis so that I didn’t have to move twice in 8 months (and pay for the first one out of pocket). He was 12 hours away and I saw him 3 times in that time period.

    Post # 9
    Member
    158 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Fiance and I will be long distance for about 2 1/2 years after we get married.  About a year of that will be cross country, the remainder of it should be no more than 12 hours apart, which will allow us to see each other once a month.  Right now we spend 2 to 3 weeks together every 3 months 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We are, we haven’t made concrete plans. Fiance will probably move to my state after the wedding but he still going to be traveling backforth for work. He mostly travels to me since he travels a lot for work. We try to see each other once a month. But it’s going to have to change be a few months at a time because we don’t want to be spending too much money on airfare while we are trying to pay for our wedding.

    Post # 11
    Member
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Omg…you bees have NO idea how happy I am to have found this post. Fiance and I are getting married in July, but I have 2 years of law school left. We’re currently trying to figure out our living situation while I’m finishing up school…he’s looking for a job by me (about 2 hours away from where he currently lives), but so far he hasn’t been able to find anything. Since I’m a full time student with no income, it’s just not smart for him to give up his well paying job unless he can find something comparable here. So now we’ve also been talking about our “plan b”: the idea of having to do “semi-long distance” marriage where I would be down at school Monday through Thursday and then be “home” Thursday night through Sunday night. It’s not really an ideal situation, but we are both committed to making it work and that’s what really matters. It really makes me feel a lot better that there are others out there who are making this work, because although we’re working out a situation that’s good for us and our future…our families have been less than supportive. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2693 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2008

    I’m interested in these answers.  Fiance starts med school in another state just after our wedding and we’re just now considering me not moving with him initially.  My thought is that it’s a better plan to do the move right…us find a place for “us” as a married couple, but only he lives there while I live with my parents back home, continue working my stable, full-time job with great benefits, so I can take as much time as is necessary to find a good job in the area he lives in.  At most, he’d be about 3 hours away, so I’d probably see him most weekends.  At best, he’d be about an hour and 15 minutes away.  My fear would be getting married and honey-mooning until mid-june, and then having to pack up and move by the end of July so he’s in place for school to start in August.  I don’t want to end up screwing ourselves by me just going with him willy-nilly without having a job in place and struggling to find a job, while I could have stayed in my job for longer and taken some time to make the best decision possible.  that way i can live rent-free, and he can just pay the rent that will eventually be both of ours.  totally bums me out to think about living away from him while we’re still newly weds though :((((

    Post # 13
    Member
    2693 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2008

    @msbadger7:  totally, totally feel you on this!!! so happy to have found this thread where others are living through or getting ready to make tough decisions like this

    Post # 14
    Member
    1855 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    SO wants to wait until we’re living together to get married; he’s watched one of his best friends do the LONG distance marriage thing for the last year and a half (they are in different continents with visa issues), and it’s been so hard to watch.  They are making the best of it, but it’s not easy by any means.  SO and I are cross-country now, and even though we manage to see each other really frequently (every 3wks or so with business travel, frequent flyer miles, and general travel; we both have flexible jobs), we want to minimize that time apart when we’re married.  Both of us have children, so we really can’t bridge the gap at the moment.  His daughter graduates in 1.5 yrs, so at least there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

    Post # 15
    Member
    574 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Yep.  DH is military and is away in school.  We’re lucky enough that his school is semi-close, so we’ve been able to visit each other about 1x a month.  However, after he is done school, he will be away for 6+ months per year.  

    Honestly, we’ve enjoyed the experience.  We’ve grown a lot and are much stronger as a result.  Seeing each other after being apart is totally worth it.  We enjoy each other so much, and just love each other so much more than I even imagined!

    Post # 16
    Member
    185 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Yes.  We were long distance for 2 years, then together under the same roof for a year and a half and now back to long distance for another year. And we’re in different states, and plane tickets are expensive.  I fly to Boulder next week and it’ll be the first time 7 weeks to see each other.  Thank goodness for video chats and cell phones!  It’s hard to combine lives and dreams and sometimes life doesn’t work out exactly how you planned…. And sometimes that sucks.

    The topic ‘Are you married and in a LDR?’ is closed to new replies.

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