(Closed) Are you marrying someone of the same race/ethnicity?

posted 11 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We’re of the same race/ethnicity, but VERY different backgrounds in terms of religion and such. I was raised very hardcore Southern Baptist, his parents don’t care. I turned out atheist (go figure), and he’s agnostic, so we’re great together, but we’ve had all kinds of issues with planning the wedding, and I get nervous anytime the parents are in the same room. It’s difficult balancing between one family that expects a keg at the reception and another that expects communion during the ceremony. >_<

I definitely would have had a hard time had I married someone of different ethnicity. My grandfathers would have flipped. Unfortunately that’s part of living in the Deep South. The younger people are pretty laid back about race, *most* of the time, but the older generations are still very racist. It sucks!

Post # 4
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m a little different, but after 2 very long term relationship with Chinese guys, I was sure that I would marry someone from a different racial/cultural background as mine.  I loved all the cultural traditions I learned, and in some ways felt that not being a part of them was somewhat of a loss.

I’ve fallen madly in love with someone who happens to be of a similar religious/racial/ethnic background as me, and it actually seemed weird initially.  His family is very diverse, however.  He has Vietnamese and black cousins… so I still get some cultural diversity that way.

We’re also planning to adopt from around the world, so we’ll get to add beautiful diversity to our family that way.

Post # 5
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m biracial- black and white. I have always dated outside of my races but never thought I would marry someone within it. My future hubby is white- the only issues that arise are the disagreements we have because he doesn’t understand what it means to be a minority. I am super proud of my race (I identify myself with being black) and I know this sounds bad, but I’m a little sad that our child together will be mostly white and look mostly white because it’s like they will be losing a part of my heritage. I have a little boy who is black, white, and mexican (he calls himself "the barack obama that’s 3 things!") and I put down hispanic on his school records, but it’s going to bother me a little when I just have to check off "caucasian" or "other" for any of my future children.

Stupid I know.

Post # 6
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Hahaha!  My Fiance and I are a couple of mutts!  We’re so multiracial our poor kids won’t really have a culture to cling to!  I guess the whole racial thing never even occurred to me because I don’t identify with just one culture.  Our poor kids will be:


Yeah…put that on your SAT form…

Post # 7
9 posts
  • Wedding: October 2010

My fiance’ is the same race but different religion which I’ve found some big differences.  Neither one of us are big on it but like he wants to get married in a Catholic church but I can’t because I’m Baptist.  I’ve found this absolutely beautiful church but he’s not every happy because it’s not catholic.

^It’s an amazing church, take the virtual tour to see what I mean.

Post # 8
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

My family claims to be all Irish (although there is Swedish and French Canadian in there).  Mr PK is half Chinese and other half is white (English, Irish mix).  He identifies mostly with Chinese and proudly calls himself a Hapa.

We both have huge round heads and lots of freckles though (irish).  Our kids are going to be giant bobble head freckle monsters…goodness I hope for C sections, I do not want to birth those heads…

Post # 9
6 posts
  • Wedding: April 2009

I’m Caucasian (Irish) and my FH is half Caucasian (Irish) and half Hispanic (Bolivian).  Our families are both very Catholic and that seems to mitigate most cultural differences, but the language barrier is very real with some of his family members.  They really do make an effort to speak English around me, but their preference for Spanish has prompted me to rock the Rosetta Stone – I always wanted to learn, and now I have the perfect reason.  I am also very excited to be bringing diversity into my family tree, mostly because my children have a fair shot at decent melanin levels and not suffering sunburn constantly!

Post # 10
1356 posts
Bumble bee

I’m a Caucasian mutt – my family is pretty much all Western European. My fiance, however, is African-American. So I am definately not marrying someone of the same race/ethnicity! 🙂

Post # 11
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mighty Sapphire: I don’t really identify with one culture either!  I think our kids will do just great checking the "other" box on SATs– just like I always did. 

I’m hapa– Chinese & Irish (mostly), Welsh, English…  Fiance is part Native American with  Euro-mutt (mostly German and English).


Post # 12
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2019 - Still Looking!

Different race and religion.  It was never the slightest issue until we got pregnant.  Now, well, "issue" still isn’t the word, but there are more considerations.  Like, which religion will we teach our child?  And I’m really interested in a local Mandarin-immersion elementary school (yes, the child is still in utero), but feel weird that, in a sense, I’m the one pushing his culture.  Stuff like that.

Post # 13
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My fiance and I are both Black and of the same religious background. We actually grew up not even 10 minutes from each other and attended the same church without knowing it!

I’ve dated both inside and outside of my race and while I’ve learned a lot from all of my relationships, I agree that it helps having a common background that you can both identify with. 🙂

Post # 14
2 posts
  • Wedding: April 2010

I am a mutt. I am American born. My mother is Cuban and my father’s parents were Lithuanian. However, I have been raised with with Cuban family and havent really had much contact with my Dads side since he was an only child. I definitely idenify more with my Cuban side.  

My Fiance is also American born but both his parents are Cuban. I consider myself very Cuban and I dont think I could be with someone non-Cuban..It is a lot easier for us because we have the same Culture and customs…We are also of the same religious background.

Post # 15
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

A Mutt here too! Japanese-Irish mom and Puerto Rican-Lithuanian dad for me and mostly american and culture-less! My fiance is a Lebonese Armenian, here since 13. His parents only speak some english and I am learning the language which is hilarious!

Post # 16
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I’m Korean and my husband is white and it’s pretty fun teaching him about the different traditions and experiences I had growing up in a Korean household.

There are a few issues that we deal with – there is a significant language barrier between my family and him and also FOOD.  He doesn’t care much for Korean food which kills me b/c I LOVE Korean food…I found weddingbee through Mrs. Bee’s korean recipe blog  

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