(Closed) Are you marrying someone of the same race/ethnicity?

posted 11 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Not only are we both white, but both Irish and German. We were also both raised Catholic, although he is alot more religious than I am. That is one thing we are trying to compromise on and working through in pre-marital counseling.

Post # 33
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I am white (mostly Irish) and my fiance is Latino (from Guatemala).  I love that we’re both getting to learn and experience each other’s cultures.  We’re currently living in Guatemala now, but will probably return to the US at some point. 

Post # 34
Member
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Even though we’re both Caucasian (there’s no way our babies are getting out of blond hair and blue eyes) with very similar racial backgrounds (my family is Scottish/English/German/Czech while he is Irish/Polish), there are definitely still differences.   

FI’s grandmother survived the concentration camps in Poland and his mother is a 1st generation American.  His father’s side came over from Ireland some time ago and were a part of the land rush and settling the West.  I think there’s some American Indian blood in there too somewhere. 

My family on the other hand is pretty distant from it’s European culture and has been Americanized for a few generations.  Our family structure and socio-economic status while growing up were also all very different which has made for some eye-opening realizations. 

I’ve actually never dated anyone of a different race.  Not by choice, but because I grew up in a small farming community with almost zero diversity.  I’ve actually never lived somewhere with much diversity to speak of so I’m always excited to visit big cities for that reason.  How sad is it when I think, "Woo!  Diversity!" when I go visit my sister in Denver? 

Post # 35
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

@mssushi i know how rare it is to find someone the same mix as you! i’ve only met one other black/korean i wasn’t related to. lol.

that said, i’ve always dated outside my race. i’m hapa [korean and black] and the bf/future fi is black and part white. he’s always been interested in learning more about the korean culture [and is even attempting to learn the language – way to make my barely korean speaking self look bad]. we’re the same religion so no worries on that front.

@josalyn, i kinda understand. i’m a little sad that our kids won’t look asian. oh well, maybe i can compensate by giving them korean names.

Post # 36
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m a total mutt – Irish/German/Native American/Welsh….and I’m sure more that I don’t even know about.  My fiance is Puerto Rican – so I agree with El Capataz – my kids will know how to eat, drink, and dance! 🙂  Both of our families are very accepting of one another and if I could just learn a bit more Spanish and how to cook some delicious Puerto Rican food, I’d be set!  But it might be better I don’t know how to cook like his family….I have a feeling I’d gain about 50 pounds!  It is so good, I don’t think I’d ever stop eating!  You’d have to pry the flan out of my hands!

Post # 37
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I hear you on the gaining the 50 pounts. I need to start on a diet soon. If you want to learn more about PR cooking I recommend this book: Puerto Rico True Flavors by Wilo Benet. My parents gave it to my Fiance for Christmas and it has every simple recipe with pictures and enough detail to make them happen.

Post # 38
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

We are mixed race. He is from East Africa and my family has middle eastern origins.  He is muslim and I am christian.  mixed up all around!

I agree that it is much easier to marry someone of your same culture, but I also wouldn’t trade our marriage for anything.

 

Post # 39
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

El Capataz – thank you!  I’d love to try and surprise him with a nice Puerto Rican dish instead of my usual meat and potatoes! 🙂  His Grandma makes her own sofrito and I’m too embarrassed to ask her for some so I can try a recipe or two.  I wouldn’t want to waste it. 

Post # 40
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My fiance and I are both caucasian, he identifies himself as just an American and doesn’t have as much of an interest in his ancestors cultures. I on the other hand am fascinated with my families past cultures and traditions. My father is mainly Italian and my mother is mainly Irish and German. I have always identified these cultures as a part of who I am.

 I think it can be easier to be compatible with someone of the same background, but in the end it doesn’t really matter. You love the person for who they are and not where they come from. I always thought I would end up with a Boston boy, but ended up with a Jersey boy.

Post # 41
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m 5th generation 100% dutch and my fiance is just like Newport Nuptials’ –he prefers to just be called an american(primarily english, french and norwegian).  I’m fairly in touch with the customs, stereotypes (yes, we are cheap and we makegood pastries!) and a couple dutch-american words and phrases and he loves being a part of my dutch family!

Post # 42
Member
80 posts
Worker bee

my Fiance and i are both of the same ethnic and religious backgrounds.  i am glad for the people who can deal with the stress of having more than one religion/ethnicity in the house.  i certainly couldnt.  i dated a persian/israeli and thought it was cool cause we are both jewish.  WRONG!  we broke up because i am white and he couldnt marry someone who wasnt persian/israeli.

Post # 43
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m 100% Korean 2nd generation and my Fiance is Italian-Swedish.  I never thought I’d marry Korean but my parents were hoping I would.  Yet as soon as they met him – they couldn’t deny that he was perfect for me!  There have been some cultural barriers but they are growing pains to make this world full of beautiful half Asian babies haha

Post # 44
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

I’m Korean and my FH is Irish-British.  To be honest, it’s never really bothered us.  We’re both non-practicing Catholics, and (even though I’m sure my parents wanted me to marry Korean) our parents have welcomed us with open arms.

The one thing that bothers me is getting weird stares from strangers in England.  Curious stares are okay, whatever.  It’s the "go home to your country" or "you’re just using him for a visa" glares that make me uncomfortable.  I don’t notice them in America, but FH has mentioned that it was strange being the only white person in a restaurant…

Oh well, we’ll have beautiful broad-shouldered, big-calf, ginger (lovingly) babies.  Can’t wait!

Post # 45
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Everyone has such interesting backgrounds!  I am African-American and my Fiance is Irish with a splash of German :).  He also comes from an extremely Catholic family and I come from a extremely protestant family.  That’s where the drama begins!

One question – I noticed a lot of people referring to themselves as mutts. Does this bother anyone?  When President Obama referred to himself as a mutt in a press conference, my Fiance and I were a bit annoyed, as we don’t want our future children to ever be called a term that is used for dogs.  Not to get controversial, but I was just surprised by how many people used the term for themselves. It could be a generational thing.

 

Post # 46
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

America is such a melting pot, I think race matters less and less!

   My husband is of Nordic decent, while I’m a mix of Italian and Finnish decent- the strange thing is we’ve been mistaken for siblings.  

 

Sacha-

  I went through something very similar with a man from Israel. He was jewish (white), but couldn’t marry anyone who was not.  I’m don’t identify with any particular religion, but was open to the idea of learning about his.  I hate when race/religion stops people from being together.

 

Yogigal- I don’t think people mean mutt in a derogatory way. When I think of the word mutt I think of a lovable mixed breed dog.  

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