Post # 61
MrsMeowton: this is a serious question and I promise I’m only asking for my own information: is there any circumstance in which you view something as inappropriate generally, even if you don’t actually suspect any wrongdoing? What I’m getting at here is that I trust my husband with my life and I trust all my friends (or else they wouldn’t be my friends) but there are some sets of circumstances that would just strike me as “off” even if I knew that nothing bad was happening.
Post # 62
- Wedding: October 2019 - City, State
Overjoyed: i don’t care about women asking my SO for help if it’s genuinely something they need help with. However, I would be annoyed if my friend was trying to put my SO to work on something she was able to do herself. If this person is an able bodied adult, she needs to get her ass out there and shovel. Unless of course she’s going to pay someone to do it for her. She most definitely shouldn’t be calling people to do it for free like that.
Post # 63
I have no problem with my friends asking Fiance for help, but I’d be miffed if it was something they just didn’t want to do. So Fiance has helped move couches or install/repair things, and sometimes gives advice relating to his field. He was good at all those things and didn’t mind. In each of those occasions though, the person really needed outside help to finish what they were doing. If the person asking was only friends with me, I’d find it a bit odd to ask him directly, but not upsetting.
Post # 64
If the female friend in need of a favour had an SO then no. Let HIM do it. But otherwise, who cares if it only benefits HER. That’s the definiation of a FAVOUR.
I draw the line with money, though. No money favours.
Post # 65
- Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman
I don’t own my fiance, so nobody needs to check with me first, if they can ask him a favor. You better believe though, that he doesn’t have any friends that would ask him to shovel for them because they simply don’t feel like doing it themselves.
Post # 66
Overjoyed: Of course there are things that I take issue with. However, in your OP, you seemed less concerned with her unwillingness to shovel the drive herself and more concerned with a female asking another female’s Fiance to do her a favor. And again, if this were a friend who needed help, I wouldn’t mind having Darling Husband go over and helping her. Friends help each other out from time to time. Would I eventually draw the line with something, sure, I’m only human and I’m allowed to get disgruntled about stuff. If this became an every week occurrence of her needing to borrow my husband for long periods of time, I’m sure I’d step in and gently suggest other options, but for a one time thing, no, I’m not going to get my panties in a twist over it.
Post # 67
I wouldn’t want my SO being an errand boy or doing chores for someone who is capable of doing them, but too lazy. That goes for male or female. I voted “it depends,” though, because I’m fine with friends asking for favors if they aren’t blatantly taking advantage.
Post # 68
TravelingBride31: I just think its being respectful of someones relationship. I don’t think single women should be calling married men. I respect all opinions on this issue and I realize people have varying opinions so to be on the safe side I would go through the wife. If she doesn’t care she will say just call him. If she does care she will appreciate the gesture.
Post # 69
This is completely inappropriate in my opinion. Regardless of how I feel about him actually doing it, I would find it disrespectful of the relationship that she would reach out to him rather than come to me first.
Not to mention that it’s incredibly inconsiderate, entitled and even rude to ask someone else who wasn’t necessarily planning to be where you are to come over and dig your car out just because you don’t feel like it.
Post # 70
MrsMeowton: I see. Well, yes that was my primary concern in the OP. Why? Because not feeling like shoveling your own snow is not a crime. I almost never felt like shoveling when I lived there and that’s why I’d hire a neighborhood kid (or somebody) to do it for me when I was single. And putting myself in the roommate’s shoes, you and my husband have nothing going on that would entitle you to even ask for a favor of that magnitude (drive across town in a snow emergency and do manual labor your behalf). So if you’re comfortable even asking, it makes me think that you must have the wrong idea of what the relationship is between the two of you.
Post # 71
I would be annoyed if some lazy girl friend who just “didn’t feel like shoveling her car out” called my Fiance to do it for her. Now if she was stranded on the side of the road or something serious, different story.
Dang bees jumping all down your throat for this one.
Post # 73
tessadub: re: bees jumping all down my throat. It happens. I came for real responses, and I sure got ’em, lol.
Post # 74
If my friend asked my SO for help shoveling out her just because she was lazy, I’d be annoyed. But, like others said, if she genuinely needed help doing something that she could not, it would not be a big deal. I’ve called my friend’s fiances’/husbands’ before (when I was not dating anyone) for help with things I could not do and they didn’t mind at all. The laziness would bug me more than anything.
Post # 75
I don’t have a problem with this. Darling Husband was in class one night when I was selling something over craigslist, so I called up a mutual guy-friend of ours to come with me. I picked him up, drove to the meet-up, and then took him home. Friends do favors for each other, regardless of their gender!
Post # 76
Unless it’s a sexual favor, girls can ask Darling Husband whatever they want. I trust him to make decisions for himself. If they’re asking for manual labor or self-serving favors without any benefit for him, he’s perfectly capable of saying no for himself.