(Closed) Are You OK With Your Female Friends Asking Your Husband For favors?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Are you ok with your female friends asking your SO to do "honey-do" type favors?
    Absolutely not. Get your own husband. : (38 votes)
    15 %
    Yes, of course. I don't see the issue. : (93 votes)
    38 %
    It depends. : (72 votes)
    29 %
    Yes, but only if she's a very good friend. : (34 votes)
    14 %
    Yes, but only if their relationship predates ours. : (10 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 77
    Member
    7910 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Maybe she considers her roommate’s fiance to be her friend? There’s no harm in asking. Maybe he’s just a helpful guy. If it’s sexual favors, though, that would be a little inappropriate.

    As far as the snow shoveling situation, even if no one drives a car, I think it’s still the tenant’s responsiblity to shovel unless the landlord has said they’ll do it themselves. 

    Post # 78
    Member
    2463 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I voted for it depends. I have no problem with my fi helping or if my close friends really need help. I would love to be there for them and would love to offer aNY assistance that I can to them, however, it depends on whay they are asking for…. and I would perfer they went through me, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if they contacted him directly. For me it really depends on the task, to ask my fi to shovel because you are to lazy too would make me mad.  If you need my fi to come help look at electric or something you can not do then I would 100 percent understand. To ask him just because you don’t want to do it, would make me mad. 

    Post # 79
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee

    Here’s my answer from the other side; it completely depends on the relationship between the friend and your Darling Husband.

    As the friend who doesn’t spend a particular lot of time with your Darling Husband, I would be reluctant to ask for favors not through you, if I know you better, just like with any other contacts you have that I do not know well. For example, if I wanted a job from someone you knew, I’d ask for you to ask for me. I wouldn’t do so out of respect for your relationship with that person though.

    I have a guy friend whose girlfriend is very nice and I’ve become friends with her. I would not ask her if I needed favors from her boyfriend because I have a relationship with him.

    Similarly, I have a girl friend whose boyfriend I’ve become good friends with, as I met him through her. I’ve also asked him for favors without the need to consult her.

    On the nature of the favor (in this case, the friend choosing to be lazy), I think it also depends on the relationships between the two parties (your SO and your friend) involved. For example, I would have no problem asking either one of my friends to help me shovel. It is in my nature, however, to also help and then provide them with something afterwards. If the friend is asking her friend’s SO to do all the hard work without her helping, then they may have the relationship that allows for that. If the SO didn’t want to do it, they’d only have to express so.

    Post # 80
    Member
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I disagree with everything about this situation. Yes I think the female should go through me, his future wife, to see if we were able to spare him. I’d check our itinerary and discuss with my fi if he wanted to do it. (If she even admitted that she was too lazy to do it herself, I’d shut down everything and tell her we are too busy). 

    If she truly needed his help in a non emergency situation, I’d want to be the point of contact. This shows respect to me – that some woman doesn’t think she can snap her fingers for him to do xyz and assume that her time is more valuable than ours. 

    If fi was single -sure! Ask away! But he’s not and we are a family with our own family priorities. By asking me to discuss with my fi to spend our time on you shows me that you are not possibly up to funny business and that you recognize us as a unit. 

    Post # 81
    Member
    9041 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I just got stuck on grown adults calling favours/chores “honey-do” nevermind the rest of the ridiculousness of asking favours based on gender. 

    Post # 82
    Member
    1680 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    Overjoyed:  i dont mind my female or male friends asking fi for a favor if they needed help.  I would however have a massive problem with anyone asking fi or myself to do a chore for them because they cant be bothered doing it themself.

    Post # 83
    Member
    2132 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I voted ‘it depends’ – as in, of course he can go and help her out, but not just because she can’t be bothered. My partner isn’t just free labour because you’re too lazy. If something is too heavy for you to lift, or he has skills that you don’t that’s fine, but no taking advantage. 

    Post # 84
    Member
    1653 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t think I would mind in this situation BUT… I would think she’s young enough to dig her own dam car out.  You don’t need someone else’s fiancé to do that for you. She’s just a lazy bitch.

    Post # 85
    Member
    2153 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    My friends would in 99% of cases ask me if they needed something from my husband.. and I would ask my friends if I needed something from their husbands. The exception being, for example, when I asked my friend’s husband for a list of her favourite music so that I could surprise her at her bachelorette party.. that kind of thing. But a faviour like shovelling snow.. no way.

    Post # 86
    Member
    1813 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If she’s that lazy then ok…sure. Ask my Fiance. If he said yes I’d roll my eyes at the both of them (her for even being so lazy and him for enabling that with a yes answer). 

    However, if the favor was zipping up her dress I’d have a problem with it. 😉

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