(Closed) Are you okay with fiance getting a lap dance?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Are you okay with fiance getting a lap dance?
    Yes, I'm okay with him getting lap dance : (104 votes)
    27 %
    No, not okay, it's disrespectful : (273 votes)
    71 %
    Other : (9 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 62
    1265 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    @RunnerBride13:  +1!  


    Fiance has gone a couple times for bachelor parties and such, but he usually comes home and talks about how gross they are lol. Makes me feel better about it. If it is very infrequent and for some occasion, I don’t really care. 

    Post # 63
    53 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I could care less. Fiance got some lap dances at his bachelor party and for some reason came home and told me all about it. I told him if he wanted to do a ‘what happens with the guys stays with the guys’ sort of thing, but he’s not like that. he’s always got to be truthful and I think that’s why I don’t mind. 

    Post # 64
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013


    i get that a lap dance is all fantasy and it’s doubtful that anything would come from it, i’m just personally not comfortable with it. 

    Post # 65
    561 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I’m OK with a stripper, but not the lapdance. haha no touching!!! By ANYONE!  ONLY on his bucks night though. haha. Under regular circumstances I would probably go through the roof! However Fiance has mentioned that he doesnt really want one cause he finds them dirty (there was a not so nice one at a friend’s bucks night!). But whatever, it’s up to him 🙂 

    Post # 66
    592 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’ve seen what goes on with male strippers at my girlfriends’ bachelorette parties and they do a whole lot of touching and lifting amongst other things, so I’m ok with Fiance getting a lap dance if he wanted one. At most strip clubs men can’t touch female strippers the way I have seen male strippers touch the women at bachelorette parties.

    Post # 67
    2224 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    No problem here. We’re both very secure in our relationship 🙂 trust each other completely. 

    Post # 68
    1462 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I have never cared about strippers or lap dancers. I am confident in knowing what kind of relationship I have so for me who cares.

    Post # 69
    147 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Hell to the F no. Luckily my man doesn’t respect women like this and him and his buddies respect me and our relationship enough to not partake in this crap.

    Post # 70
    125 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    heck NO!

    Post # 71
    1848 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Meh. Two years ago, I might have had a problem with it. I just told him dont touch her and we’re good.


    He did say he doesnt want strippers at his bachelor party… I told him either way, use your noggin. That first picture, no. Do not touch the stripper.

    Post # 72
    40 posts
    • Wedding: July 2015

    It doesn’t bother me at all. I’m probably going to end up at a male strip club at some point during my party, if my friends plan it right. Lol 🙂

    Post # 73
    3044 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Just a little insight for the ladies on this post! I have worked at a strip club for over 5 years now as the door host or “door girl”. I can give you the scoop on what REALLY goes on inside the clubs. We are considered to be pretty “prude” as far as the strip club world goes, meaning the girls can only wear gstrings & pasties because we have a full bar and liquor license.  I can also tell you, some of the customers act like the world is ending if they cant see the nipples (which totally creeps me out! if they are that worried about nipples vs pasties, it makes me think they want to do something with those nipples..)

    Anyhow, working there for so long I get all the scoop from the bouncers, managers, & bartenders on what girls do what stuff. I do have to say, if you think no touching happens in the private rooms, You are in la la land. By law, there is to be NO touching. In reality, there is A LOT of touching. I have asked customers how their dance went, (mostly if I saw them go back with a girl I suspect being dirty)

    Some of the comments Ive heard most recently from customers about their experience in the private rooms are:


    “She jerked my dick off so hard it was chafing”

    “She told me to fuck her in the ass”

    “She said if I take the condom with me, we can have sex for an extra 100$”


    We have roughly 30 girls a night on the weekend nights, and i would say maybe 10 are by the book with minimal touching allowed, 10 are mediocre probably doing quite a bit of touching, and the other 10 are just straight up doing whatever to make more money… (oral, fingering, hj, sucking on boobs, and even sex)


    The problem is, money is what conquers all. I know the bouncers up top look the other way when big spenders act disgusting up top because they make money off of it. (personally it disgusts me)

    I continue to be shocked by what goes on, but here is my take on the bachelors I see come into the club.

    The main problem always seems to be the bachelors FRIENDS pressuring him and buying him multiple dances, not the actual bachelor. It seems as though he feels like he wont be “cool” if he doesnt play along, so he just ends up getting smashed and letting his friends pressure him and pay for these dances.

    As far as the touching goes, I can tell you we do a thing where you can pay to have your bachelor on stage. This entails 4 girls topless dancing around him and Yes, upside down with their pussy in his face shaking their legs in the air, riding and hopping up and down on his like sex… and this is on stage. They also ride him like a pony, and rip his underwear. If you think this isnt going on, it is. and I would say 90% of the bachelor parties we see put the bachelor on stage for this show. (probably 7-10 each weekend night)

    What you really need to be worried about is WHICH stripper he goes to the private room with. If he gets a skanky one, she will do whatever it takes to keep him in the room to make more money.


    All in all, I can say when I first started working there I thought “I would totally let my fiance get a lap dance, no big deal!”  Now after seeing what its become, I told my fiance no way in hell would I want him at a strip club getting a dance. He has attended bachelor parties this past year at other clubs for his buddies and cousins, and while I wasnt happy about it, I know my fiance wouldnt pay out of his pocket for a dance, but when hes the actual bachelor, its inevitable, because the group of buddies forces it upon the bachelor.

    Just my two cents! So I would say if you arent comfortable with a girl in a gstring or naked hopping up and down on your fiances crotch, grinding his genitals, and shoving her boobs and/or pussy in his face, then you would not want him to get a private dance. If hes just watching the main stage, there wouldnt be much touching other than him tipping her on stage. But I can assure you, there is DEFINITELY touching in the private rooms. A lot more than some may think. No touching means nothing basically. Unless a cop is undercover and busts them, the no touching rule goes out the window unfortunately!


    Post # 74
    1133 posts
    Bumble bee

    Look if he was getting a lap dance every 2 weeks i might mind but if it was once in a blue moon (His bucks night for example) i wouldn’t care.


    Post # 75
    4655 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Yes, that’s fine, as long as it’s paid for and not “just for fun.” (On the dancer’s part, I mean.) Even a little touching wouldn’t bother me if it was like a one time type of thing, especially if said touching was in view of other people. Touching in private would bother me a bit.

    But I’m a bad barometer, I think I’m a lot more sexually permissive than most. It just doesn’t feel disrespectful or upsetting to have some dancer robotically gyrating near him.

    The way I see it, during a lap dance… To her, he is essentially a faceless mannequin made of money. To him, she is a pretty 3D fantasy picture that might as well have the head cut off for how much they are connecting as people.

    I am quite possessive emotionally, but in such an emotionally sterile context it doesn’t rouse my ire or jealousy. I feel the same way about him seeing/getting a lap dance from strippers as I do about him watching porn – that is, nothing.

    If lap dances became a frequent occurrence though, we might have a problem… though I can’t possibly imagine that happening, my permissiveness is entirely wasted on my always pragmatic and frugal FH, who doesn’t abstain out of some moral high ground, he just thinks strippers are a waste of money.

    Post # 76
    3246 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Hell No. Yuck. It’s not because I feel I can’t trust my SO, but because I just think it’s icky on all levels. He wouldn’t want to, anyway– he’s a very private person, like me. My morals/values do not include paid or paid-for sexual behavior in any form!

    Lucky for me and my SO, he and his friends will probably play paintball in the woods if he ever gets a bachelor party! I think paintball is pretty dumb, but it’s not as bad as a strip club.




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