(Closed) Are you okay with your fiance going to a strip club for his bachelor party?

posted 11 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Are you fine with your fiance going to a strip club for his bachelor party?

    Not at all.

    I'm totally fine with it!

    I'm okay with him going, but no lap dances!

    He can go, but it makes me uneasy.

    Other: Explain!

  • Post # 92
    Member
    748 posts
    Busy bee

    Nope. He doesn’t like them and wouldn’t go. He would also excuse himself from another person’s bachelor party if that’s what they were doing. If he wanted to go he wouldn’t be the man I want to marry.

    Post # 93
    Member
    1325 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    🙂 I am not ok with it, and he isnt either for me, and thus we concur on a decision that strippers are a no go for either of us. In the case of friends parties and strippers we have decided that we can be there, but not be involved with said strippers in any way. Thats how we feel, and it was a mutual decision.

    Post # 94
    Member
    711 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Watching strangers strip has always seemed strange and gross to both of us…not sexy.

    Post # 95
    Member
    182 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I voted “he can go, but it makes me uncomfortable” But, not because I’m worried about him cheating on me. Simply because I feel it’s a waste of money, and I personally am not in support of strip clubs. I would feel very uncomfortable if he were getting a lap dance. That would not be acceptable for a married person anywhere else, so why would it be in a strip club? 

    But, it’s really a non-issue, because my Fiance is not interested in going. He thinks it’s awkward to be getting turned on in front of other men. 

    I certainly would not stop him from going if he wanted to. I know he is loyal to me.

    Post # 96
    Member
    5879 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Don’t have a problem with it. I’ve been with him to a few, he actually has germ a phobe issues so his reactions are quite hilarious. I actually speak to some of the dancers, I even know a chick who was prositute – I don’t agree with it, but I don’t vilify them either. Besides, I’ve gone to male strip shows myself.

    Like other posters said I’d have more issues with the loot being spent than anything else (an no champagne room) The way I see it, 99.9% of hetero men walk down the street and mentally undress (and screw) most women they see. And from what my male friends tell me thats far more erotic than a professional working a pole and they also say if anything women should have more concerned about the women that men they work with than the strippers. 

    I’m not knocking women who feel uncomfortable with the stripper thing, different strokes from different folks.

    Post # 97
    Member
    10 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I dont see the problem? They are probably going to visit a strip club a few more times in their life too (perhps other bachelor parties for their friends?)

    You should trust your man, and dont worry, the girls who are there arent looking to steal your guy away from you. They go in, shake their butts, make their money and go home.

    Your FI/hubby is going to be day dreaming about hot chicks forever and will pick up a playboy every now and again.. its called being a man, not a cheater. No worries!

    Post # 98
    Member
    748 posts
    Busy bee

    It’s about respect. I don’t think it’s respectful to pay women to act as sex objects for you. I agree with PPs, going to see other women naked is a strange way to celebrate his love for you.

    I don’t think picking up a Playboy or going to stripclubs makes a man. My FH doesn’t need to do those things and he is certainly a man.

    I’m not going to say everyone’s SO shouldn’t go to stripclubs, but in my relationship this would be considered cheating and disrespectful. I’m sure this isn’t how everyone feels, so if you and your SO don’t have problems with it, go for it.

    Post # 99
    Member
    881 posts
    Busy bee

    @SunshineGrin:

    Great point, totally agree!

    I actually wonder about other girls that truly, really, honestly don’t think their guy thinks about other women naked or even thinks about a super hot girl on the beach or on the street naked or get turned on by them in his head.  They do – even if they don’t tell you, they do.  If not, they’d be abnormal as a hetero male.  I’m not judging or anything or even calling anyone out, but I have read from time to time some ladies that really seem to think that their guy only thinks of them or gets turned on by them and it makes me nervous for their relationship because that’s just normal sexual behavior and to think of that as wrong presents near impossible standards for their man.

    Post # 100
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    To be honest I’d be afraid I wouldn’t be able to marry him if he did. That might be kinda wacky but f* if I care. And ironically, I’ve never felt that way about any other guy I’ve dated. I haven’t cared otherwise. But with this man…my forever man? Nah, I’m good.

    Post # 101
    Member
    7 posts
    Newbee

    “I dont see the problem? They are probably going to visit a strip club a few more times in their life too (perhps other bachelor parties for their friends?)

    You should trust your man, and dont worry, the girls who are there arent looking to steal your guy away from you. They go in, shake their butts, make their money and go home.”

     

    This just makes no sense to me.   How is this about trust.   Prositutes, like strippers,  aren’t looking to steal your man.  They just go in, spread their legs, make their money and go home.  That doesn’t make it OK. 

    To those of us who disagree, watching strippers is a sexual activity, different only in degree from having sex with a prostitute.  We don’t define sex narrowly as in he has to have his penis in her vagina for a sexual activity to occur.  Sexual activity includes foreplay, and that includes undressing, grinding, and so forth.  This is a private and intimate activity between the two of us, not to be shared with naked strangers.  And, seeing strippers and hooping and hollering and enjoying them in front of his friends, and having his friends egg him on,  is especially disrespectful.  It seems to negate the sanctity of this important time.  I am especially bewildered by how this celebrates his love for you.  In fact, one has to be in denial not to acknowlede that bachelor parties are traditionaly looked upon as a last hoorah for the guy, which is kinda offensive.  And many of the guys do speak badly of the strippers, calling them skanks, which is also disrespectful. 

    This “tradition” is actually relatively new. (Ask your grandparents–10 to 1 it never occurred to them to go to a strip club to “celebrate” their wedding, never mind to a week long trip of debauchery to Vegas or somewhere similar).  I really would never accept it if he wanted to go, because it disrespects me, and his friends are dissing me by creating such an event.  And we both agree on this issue.  And, I would not want him to go to his friend’s party, because being disrespectful to other brides is just as bad. 

    Finally, this is not the same as seeing a girl on a beach.  It is the difference between putting yourself purposefully in a situation versus happening on that situation as part of every day life.  Besides, if the girl on the beach, with the hot body, offered to strip and/or grind on him for a few dollars, I would expect him to say no, even if she never wanted to see him again.

     

     

    Post # 102
    Member
    4107 posts
    Honey bee

    @dinosaur1984: Besides, if the girl on the beach, with the hot body, offered to strip and/or grind on him for a few dollars, I would expect him to say no, even if she never wanted to see him again.

    lol, i like this.  it sounds absurd and of course he would say no! But really, thats what it is. if the situation is absurd is any context besides a bar where strippers work, why is it not absurd is that context too?  well said.

    Post # 104
    Member
    458 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I would be totally fine with it, but it’s not even an issue because he’s disgusted by strip clubs and is probably not going to have a bachelor party anyway.

    Post # 105
    Member
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I have no problem with it. He is an adult and at the end of the day it is his choice and money.

    Post # 106
    Member
    1835 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I would not be okay with it at all. Thankfully, neither is my fiance, so I don’t have to worry. But I really take offence to the whole idea that there has to be a “last hurrah” or anything of the sort. We are getting married because we want to spend the rest of our lives together, and spending a night centred around the wedding looking at/touching/etc. nearly-naked women/men seems completely contradictory and wrong to me.

    It’s weird, though. I have absolutely nothing against the women/men who work in strip clubs (or prostitutes for that matter), but I REALLY look down on the men/women who go to them to watch/touch.

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