Post # 1
sooooo we cannot decide whether or not to have a third baby. Our son is just under 3 and our daughter is 4 months (so 2.5 years apart). We are 35(me) and 34 (DH). Money isn’t exactly tight but having a third would cost more and might delay buying a house by about 2 years (we live in a high col area). If we have a third we’d space that baby 2.5 years apart (as much as we can plan it). I’ve read a lot online about parenting three kids and that’s helpful but I’m more interested in how it goes being one of three (I’m one of 4 with an atypical background). So all things being equal – if you are one of three children – how was the dynamic growing up? Now? Did it suck? Did you love it?
Post # 2
My sister is 5 years older and my brother is 3 years older (than me). No complaints here.
Post # 3
I’m the third. My brother is 5 years older than me and my sister is 2 years older than me.
I’m thrilled my parents had a third, otherwise I wouldn’t exist. I was never close to my siblings, and they were never close to each other. We’re all loners, but I became pretty social in college.
I’m turning 30. Still not close.
Post # 4
My husband is one of three. He’s the middle child – brother is 18 months older, sister is 2 years younger. He has no complaints and is close with his siblings. I will say (and he would agree) that as the middle child it does seem like he gets less attention than the other two, though he’s perfectly happy to fly under the radar as his parents can be a little overbearing and are way too involved in his siblings lives!
Post # 5
Do you recycle? Turn off the lights when you leave a room? Drive a fuel efficient car? Having one fewer child is the most effective way you can reduce your carbon emissions and would absolutely be a factor if I were in your position.
[source: https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1748-9326/aa7541 ]
Post # 6
I’m one of three and LOVE it- so much so that I want to have 3 kids. Darling Husband is set on two though!
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2020 - Ireland
I’m the middle of 3. I’m 30, brother is turning 33 in September and sister just turned 24. I’m way closer with my bro, but that’s because our parents were shitshows when we were little and we had to raise our sister, basically. Things got better and my parents got it together but my sister is just very different from bro and I for various reasons. So it’s a strange dynamic. I’d say it would’ve been better if she were closer in age to us. But overall, 3 is good. I want 3 hopefully, maybe even 4!
Post # 8
I’m one of three, and voted “loved it then and love it now”, which I view as the most appropriate answer. My brother is 9 years older than I am, and my sister is 4 years younger than I am. We were never best friends growing up, given the age differences. I’m closer to my sister as an adult, because we’re more alike. My brother and I butted heads for most of our lives. The past several years have been a lot better, and we have a good time when we see each other. We chose pretty different paths…he got married young and had kids young, skipped college, and is very religious/conservative…basically the opposite of my life path. So, that to say, we don’t have much in common but I am glad to have him.
Our parents weren’t rolling in it when we were young, but it was WELL worth foregoing the extras some of my only-child friends had. I really hope that Fiance and I end up in a position to have 3. My thoughts are that a lifetime of a bigger family is absolutely worth a few lean years, if that’s something you value.
Post # 9
Honestly I’m 1 of 3 (the oldest) and I’ve hated it for as long as I can remember. My parents didn’t have the time or the money for all of us, and they had a very obvious favorite that wasn’t me. Darling Husband and I are leaning strongly towards being 1 and done with the possibility of a second, but I absolutely won’t intentionally have a third.
Post # 10
I’m one of 3 (the oldest) and wouldn’t have it any other way! I want 3 but Darling Husband only wants 2. He’s one of 2, and while it’s okay as kids, now that they’re older it’s a super weird relationship. They are overly close and overly involved in each others lives. And TBH, everyone I know that comes from a 2 child family is way over involved. They are super enmeshed relationships. Even my BFF, I have told her multiple times that she needs to back out of her brother’s marriage. And that it is none of her business what him and his wife do. I love having 2 brothers. We are all different but we have a great relationship!
Post # 11
drdeebee : I have two older sisters and we’re pretty close. I think having siblings is really special. My one sister and I actually got married within 2 months of each other. No complaints. I love them.
Post # 12
I’m the oldest of three — I have a brother 2 years younger than I am, and a sister 4 years younger than I am. We all got along very well growing up and we still are close now as adults! (I’m sure being close in age was a factor in that.) I never felt like having three kids was a strain on my parents or like they didn’t have enough time for us all; I certainly never felt neglected. I like the feeling of a full house, but it isn’t so many people that you can’t get some privacy or alone time away from your siblings when you need it, either. If I am able to have kids, I’d love to have three myself.
Post # 13
I am an identical twin and have a sister 7 years younger. Loved having a best friend growing up, and have absolutely loved getting to know my younger sister as adults, we are close friend now.
Post # 14
Not really sure that you can judge this from the experience of others. I am one of two and my sibling and I don’t get on at all. But I have friends who are best friends with their siblings. Seems luck of the draw to some extent.
I personally don’t intend to have more than two (ideally one). Population growth does concern me and factor in to that.
Post # 15
I am the 3rd. My brother is 10 years older and my sister is nearly 4. I loved having siblings. We’re all still close and it was amazing growing up with a big family. This is the reason I want 3.
Were we close all the time? No, of course not but we all were as close as you can be when I was 6, my sister was 10, and my brother was 16. As we grew older, we became closer. This is why I’d have mine closer together. I think it also depends on how you’re raised. I was raised to be close to my family and close to my cousins (who are basically like siblings to me).
I totally get being conflicted as we will be as well. 2 is easier than 3 for sure but I want a big family. I’d have 4 if my H said yes and we could afford it. Population growth also concerns me.