Post # 1
We are not having a destination wedding, per say, but kind of. Our wedding is 1.5 hours from where most of our family/friends are. We only have one each. (BM, MOH) And one flower girl (The Flower Girl and her mother are traveling across the country)
However, the hotels in our area are $119/night, which would be an additional $750 to get three rooms for both nights (rehearsal dinner, wedding night)
Are we responsible for puttng them up?
We’d like to do something, but we are having budget troubles already, and this would be $750 additional………..Thoughts?
Post # 3
I don’t think you’d be responsible for putting them up…in my opinion. Unless you want to do this as a gift to them, thanking them for being in your wedding party.
Post # 4
I don’t think you have to, but it’d be a nice gesture if you chose to.
Post # 5
We are not. Because if you pay for one you have to pay for the other. And when you add it all up the cost of putting them up would be more than the price of my dress, the DJ, pretty much 75% of our vendors. Crazy.
It sucks that they have to pay for their room. But I would think when they accepted to be in your bridal party they knew that a hotel room would be inevitable.
I mean we would like to. But it would just be too much.
Post # 6
If I feel they can’t afford to come otherwise I’ll pay for their costs. But I don’t think you’re responsible for their expenses.
Post # 7
It’s not a must-do but it would certainly be a nice-to-do if you guys can swing it. If not, don’t sweat it. I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man in several weddings which were out-of-state for me and I paid for my own hotel room without thinking twice about it. In fact, at one wedding, another Bridesmaid or Best Man and I came solo and we shared a room.
Post # 8
We would REALLY like to, as well, but as you’ve all said…if you do it for one…..
I really dont want our wedding to be a PITA money-breaker for our family (especially the attendants).
The Bridesmaid or Best Man just had a baby, so I know their funds are tight; and our FG’s mother is a single-mother who is going to school and working, so same situation there.
It’s crazy that the hotel is $119/night, but its the only actual hotel in the city. The rest are motels and kind of ghetto….
Post # 9
No way! It’s nice that you are even thinking about it! We just got a STD from one of my FI’s good friends. Their wedding is in another state and the rooms are $109 a night. We plan on making an entire weekend out of it so we will prob end up spending closer to $300. I would never expect them to pay for us!
Post # 10
Absolutely not! It’s a great added thing if you can carry it but it’s not necessary at all! The only person we’re “providing” a room for is FI’s cousin. He lives in another state and has to come up the night before for the rehearsal. He’s staying in the room that will be our hotel room because we get it comped for 2 nights. He’ll have the night before for the rehearsal dinner and we can have it wedding night. We would’ve offered him to stay at our apt since neither Fiance or I will be there – but he’s allergic to cats, so that’s out.
Post # 11
I’m not paying for a hotel room for anyone except my mom (and that’s because my parents are divorced and I don’t want to “play favorites” with who gets the free parent’s room).
I’ve been in several weddings, some of them destination, some of them nearby and I’ve never had a hotel room paid for.
Post # 12
We are having a destination wedding in Sonoma so we are picking up the tab for 2 nights at the hotel that we have our room block in for our bridal party.
That said you don’t have to put people up. Do what you feel comfortable doing.
Post # 13
I’m inviting the ladies to stay in my suite the evening before and contemplating getting rooms (for them to share) the following night. Haven’t exactly decided yet. I know at minimum, I’m paying for their childcare for the sitter we will have at the wedding for the bridal party. Rooms are expensive, I don’t think people necessarily expect it, just a nice gesture if you can afford it.
Post # 14
No, you aren’t responsible for paying for their hotel rooms. For the night before my wedding we are renting a cottage for me, my mom and 2 of my bridesmaids, but then the night of the wedding they are staying in their own hotel room with their boyfriends and Im not paying for that.
Post # 15
I agree, it’s a “nice to have” but not mandatory. All of my BMs are pretty tight on cash, so I’m giving them all a set amount (1-2 nights worth, depending on where they stay) towards lodging. Also, because we’re semi-destination and our rehearsal is in the early afternoon the day before the wedding, they will have to pay for at least two, possibly three, nights hotel, which is above the normal amount of hotel expense, In My Humble Opinion. That said, my FIs guys are all very financially…comfortable…so we didn’t feel the same need to help them out.
However, if we were over budget this would be one of the things that would need to be cut, so do what you can but don’t break the bank! Happy planning!!