(Closed) are you paying for hotel rooms for your attendants?

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I don’t think you’d be responsible for putting them up…in my opinion.  Unless you want to do this as a gift to them, thanking them for being in your wedding party.

Post # 4
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think you have to, but it’d be a nice gesture if you chose to.

Post # 5
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We are not. Because if you pay for one you have to pay for the other. And when you add it all up the cost of putting them up would be more than the price of my dress, the DJ, pretty much 75% of our vendors. Crazy.

It sucks that they have to pay for their room.  But I would think when they accepted to be in your bridal party they knew that a hotel room would be inevitable.

I mean we would like to. But it would just be too much.  Money mouth

Post # 6
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If I feel they can’t afford to come otherwise I’ll pay for their costs. But I don’t think you’re responsible for their expenses.

Post # 7
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

It’s not a must-do but it would certainly be a nice-to-do if you guys can swing it.  If not, don’t sweat it.  I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man in several weddings which were out-of-state for me and I paid for my own hotel room without thinking twice about it.  In fact, at one wedding, another Bridesmaid or Best Man and I came solo and we shared a room. 

Post # 9
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

No way!  It’s nice that you are even thinking about it!  We just got a STD from one of my FI’s good friends.  Their wedding is in another state and the rooms are $109 a night.  We plan on making an entire weekend out of it so we will prob end up spending closer to $300.  I would never expect them to pay for us! 

 

 

Post # 10
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Absolutely not! It’s a great added thing if you can carry it but it’s not necessary at all! The only person we’re “providing” a room for is FI’s cousin. He lives in another state and has to come up the night before for the rehearsal. He’s staying in the room that will be our hotel room because we get it comped for 2 nights. He’ll have the night before for the rehearsal dinner and we can have it wedding night. We would’ve offered him to stay at our apt since neither Fiance or I will be there – but he’s allergic to cats, so that’s out.

 

Post # 11
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m not paying for a hotel room for anyone except my mom (and that’s because my parents are divorced and I don’t want to “play favorites” with who gets the free parent’s room).

I’ve been in several weddings, some of them destination, some of them nearby and I’ve never had a hotel room paid for. 

Post # 12
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We are having a destination wedding in Sonoma so we are picking up the tab for 2 nights at the hotel that we have our room block in for our bridal party.

That said you don’t have to put people up. Do what you feel comfortable doing.

 

Post # 13
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m inviting the ladies to stay in my suite the evening before and contemplating getting rooms (for them to share) the following night. Haven’t exactly decided yet. I know at minimum, I’m paying for their childcare for the sitter we will have at the wedding for the bridal party. Rooms are expensive, I don’t think people necessarily expect it, just a nice gesture if you can afford it.

 

 

Post # 14
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

No, you aren’t responsible for paying for their hotel rooms. For the night before my wedding we are renting a cottage for me, my mom and 2 of my bridesmaids, but then the night of the wedding they are staying in their own hotel room with their boyfriends and Im not paying for that.

Post # 15
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree, it’s a “nice to have” but not mandatory.  All of my BMs are pretty tight on cash, so I’m giving them all a set amount (1-2 nights worth, depending on where they stay) towards lodging.  Also, because we’re semi-destination and our rehearsal is in the early afternoon the day before the wedding, they will have to pay for at least two, possibly three, nights hotel, which is above the normal amount of hotel expense, In My Humble Opinion.  That said, my FIs guys are all very financially…comfortable…so we didn’t feel the same need to help them out.

However, if we were over budget this would be one of the things that would need to be cut, so do what you can but don’t break the bank!  Happy planning!!

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